Archive for November, 2008

Before I get into what happened last night, I should catch you up.  This post explains about my background with Mr. Could Be The One. This one explains how I became That Girl.  And finally, this one talks about how Mr. Could Be The One turned into Mr. Done.

(It should also be noted that after Mr. Done appeared and things were supposed to be over, I did see him a few times, but it never ended up being what I wanted.  Finally I found some self-respect and stopped responding to his texts and IMs.  I told him that until he wanted to talk about truly dating, I didn’t think that either of us could offer each other what the other person wanted).

It had been quite a few months since Mr. Done had texted me.  I’d started up my profile eHarmony, but that hadn’t really been panning out.  All of the men that they matched me with just didn’t spark my interest for various reasons.  I had recently met one guy, Mr. Sweet, who seemed to be really sweet, hence the name, but he has 3 kids (11, 6, and 4).  That’s a huge undertaking in and of itself, but especially for someone like me who has decided she doesn’t want to have children.  He and I had set up a date for today, just to meet and go to lunch, but I was hesitant, because I didn’t think we were in the same places in our lives.

And then Mr. Done texted me:

Mr. Done: “For the record…I’m looking for an ltr now.”

Bella: “Interesting.  What changed?”

Mr. Done: “I’ve grown up.”

Bella: “I’m so happy to hear it.  Good for you. :)”

Mr. Done: “You interested?”

Now, at this point, I stopped to ask myself if I was interested.  The weird thing was, I had just thought about Mr. Done earlier in the day.  I had tuned my radio to a station that plays all Christmas music this time of year, and Mr. Done was the first one who had introduced me to this station 2 years ago.  It made me think of him and all of the fun we had together when we first went out.

Bella: “Of course.  If you really mean it.”

Mr. Done: “I do.”

Bella: “I think about how wonderful you were when we were dating.  How you surprised me with the Stanford theatre.

{On one date right before Christmas, Mr. Done told me he had a surprise for me.  He took me to Palo Alto but wouldn’t say what we were going to do.  We started walking in the downtown area, and stopped at the Stanford Theatre.  They were playing Miracle on 34th Street, which I had never seen.  The theatre was decorated for Christmas, and it was a really romantic night.}

Bella: “I really miss the way you made me feel. So special.”

Mr. Done: “Can I call you sometime?”

Bella: “Yes.”

Even as I type that text exchange, I get butterflies because Mr. Done and I have had so much chemistry.  At the same time, I also worry that I may come off as too into him, even after he broke my heart.  But as this was occurring last night, I kept thinking about how much I enjoyed my time with Mr. Done, and knew that it felt right to give him another chance.

Of course I called BFF to ask her opinion, because she remembers just how broken-hearted and depressed I was when I Mr. Done broke up with me.  She said that she might not be the best person to ask, because she’s the Queen of 2nd (or 10th) Chances. I didn’t really need her advice, per se, but I wanted to discuss my thought process with her.  I guess I needed her to tell me that I was making the right decision.

In my heart I knew that Mr. Done and I weren’t truly finished.  Yes, he’d hurt me when he broke up with me.  Yes, he had called me again and again looking for something more casual than what I wanted.  But I could tell that there was something different about him this time.  He reminded me of the person I had first met and fell for with when we were dating.  I hadn’t gone out on a serious date since I’d gone out with him. And I know I’m ready to try it again, with my eyes wide open this time.

So when Mr. Done called last night, I was ready.  He made a bit of small talk, charmed me a bit, and then asked me if I’d like to go out sometime.  I told him I would.  So we made a date for next Saturday.  But in the back of my mind, I had so many questions that I wanted to ask him NOW.  As we kept talking, he asked me what I had going on for the evening.  I said I was just going to stay home and watch t.v. or read.  He said he’d planned the same thing.  And then I boldly suggested that we hang out.  He said he’d love to, and asked if I’d feel more comfortable coming to his house or having him come to mine.  I told him I’d rather go to his house, so I jumped in the shower, figured out the perfect “just hanging out” outfit, put on some makeup, and headed over to his place.

When he opened the door, I noticed that he looked much the same as the last time I’d seen him.  He gave me a huge hug, told me I smelled great and looked so pretty, and asked me to make myself comfortable.  We had a glass of wine and snuggled on the couch to watch a movie.  The movie, Untraceable, was not great, or even good, but just being able to cuddle and hold hands with him on the couch was so nice. It really wasn’t about the movie at all, but I think you already figured that out, right?

The movie ended around 1am, and then we spent some time talking and enjoying each other’s company.  We talked a bit about why things ended, and I asked him if I had pushed him too far or asked too much of him when we were dating.  And then he said something that really made me feel wonderful: “Bella, it was never about your personality.  I love your personality, even though you are intense at times.  You might be too much for some people – too strong, and a bit intimidating – but I love that about you.  I can handle you.  You’re not intimidating to me at all. And I like the way we interact with each other.”  My heart melted.  Because he is so right.  Often, my personality is too domineering for people, men and women alike, but especially guys I’m dating.  I’m bold and blunt, and people don’t always know how to take me.  But Mr. Done always knew how to deal with me.  He stood up to me, and wasn’t overpowered by me.  He has enough of a personality and a bit of “smart ass” in him that he and I just “work.”

We spent a few more hours talking and at that point it was past 3am and he said, “why don’t you just sleep over? No expectations, no hidden agendas.  I just don’t think you should drive home this late when you’re tired.”  So, I did.  And it felt great.  It was nice to cuddle with someone without any expectations or things moving too far too fast.

I left this morning around 7am because I had a date with Mr. Sweet from eHarmony.  As I drove home, I realized that I didn’t want to go on the date with Mr. Sweet.  And not because of Mr. Done, or at least, not entirely.  Sure, when I compare the two, Mr. Done has more going for him than Mr. Sweet, because of our lifestyles.  I have a history with Mr. Done that Mr. Sweet can’t compete with.  Which may not be fair, but it’s how I feel.  I wasn’t too enthused about Mr. Sweet even before Mr. Done contacted me.  His having 3 kids is a lot for me, as I’ve already mentioned.  I started thinking that it was unfair to him to meet up with him, have him pay for lunch, etc., knowing that I wasn’t interested in pursuing anything long term with him.  So I texted him and told him that I didn’t think it was going to work out and that I didn’t want to meet up.  He asked if it was something he had said, and I told him that it wasn’t him at all, that someone from my past had contacted me, and I was interested in pursuing that, and plus I didn’t want to waste his time.  In true, sweet fashion, he said he understood, and wished me the best of luck.  He truly is Mr. Sweet.

So, at this point, I think it’s safe to say that Mr. Done will now be referred to as Mr. Maybe.  Not that I’m thinking that far ahead.  Or at least, I’m trying not to.  This time, I’m just going to go with the flow and let things happen as they’re meant to.

Either way, it should be fun.


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I had told myself that there was no way that I was going to go out with the masses yesterday to go shopping, no matter how good the deals were at the mall.  Instead, I stayed home, all warm and snuggly, and did some online shopping.

And by “some,” I mean A LOT!  I got gifts for everyone on my list except my parents.  I don’t know why, but those two are always the most difficult people to buy for.  I think part of it is that they’re always so generous with my sister and me, and I want to make sure to give them gifts they’ll really enjoy.  Of course, they’d appreciate any gift I give them, but I want to make sure to find them that special thing.

I don’t want to mention the gifts that I got, because most of the people I bought for read this blog, but let’s just say, I think they’ll all be pleased.

I feel so good to know that almost all of it is done already.  Now all I have to do is wait for the items to arrive and wrap them.

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Happy Thanksgiving!

I’m about to leave for the Turkey Trot that I’m participating in today, but I wanted to write a quick post.

There are so many things I’m thankful for this year.  Great family, wonderful friends, a good job that is recession proof, and the fact that in less than 2 months we’ll have a new president in the White House.  One of the biggest things I’m thankful for is that I finally realized that I had to do something about my weight, and I’ve made positive changes in my life in order to get healthy.

I hope that all of you have a great day spent with those you love.  Food, family, and a day off – does it really get any better?


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About a month ago I had mentioned to my dad that I wanted to plant some winter flowers in my window box in the front yard, and was asking his opinion on which type to plant.  I don’t get a lot of sun, so the flowers definitely had to be ones that could take shade.  He mentioned that cyclamen would work well, and would last all winter.

I told him that when the time came, I’d love for him to help me.  You see, the window box is just far enough off the ground that I can’t really reach it without using a step ladder.  Since my dad is 6′ 3″, he can reach over with no problem.  He said he’d help me whenever we both had some spare time.

I had forgotten about the gardening until he called this morning, telling me that Home Depot had the cyclamen on sale, and since he was buying some for my parents’ garden, he wanted to know how many I wanted.  Was that the sweetest, or what?

We made a plan that my dad would call me when he was on his way over so that I could “help” him.  (Helping in this case would probably be handing him the flowers and bringing him a glass of water or something, since he’s the gardening expert).  I told him I had a nail appt. at 11am, but would be home by 12:15 or so.

I got home to discover that my dad had already been to my house and planted all of the flowers!  I have the best dad in the world!!!  The flowers look great, and really make the yard look happy.  Here, see for yourself:


In December, I’m going to buy some pointsettias to place in the window box, as well, just to give it that extra Christmasy feel.

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Last Thursday my mom and I got together to have dinner and go shopping.  The objective was to introduce my mom to Bare Escentuals makeup.  I absolutely love it and have been using it for a few years, thanks to BFF.  She kept going on and on about how much she loved it, and since she’s not a huge makeup wearer, I figured there had to be something to it.  Turns out there definitely is!

The fun part about the evening was getting to have dinner alone with my mom.  She and I almost never do that.  Usually when we get together it’s at my parents’ house for dinner.  Now, I love my dad, and it’s wonderful getting together with him whenever possible, but having some “Mom and Me” time is really nice, too.

We met at Cheesecake Factory, and even though they have lots of tempting and decadent things on the menu, I made some really good choices.  I had a wonderful Ahi tuna salad that was delicious!  Pretty low in points, too, which was nice.  Mom ordered the herb-crusted salmon, which was also good, but I liked mine better (Mom did too!).  We shared a bottle of chardonney and had a really nice time catching up.  My parents just celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary and had gone to Napa for an extended weekend.  (Originally they had planned to go to Italy and really do it up, but with the economy what it is, they decided to hold off on their dream vacation for another year).  My mom said that her favorite part of the whole trip was going on the hot-air balloon ride with my dad.  She said it was so romantic, and that the views were breathtaking.  That’s exactly the type of thing I’d love to do with a “someone special” someday.  I was really glad to hear they had such a fun time.

After dinner, we headed to the Bare Escentuals boutique.  I had a few of my own items to stock up on, and I let one of the makeup artists/salespeople help my mom.  My mom has loved makeup since her own mother worked at the Emporium in the cosmetics section.  I think the love of makeup runs in the family, although my sis, LC, doesn’t get as into it as Mom and I do.  My mom normally doesn’t wear any sort of foundation or powder – just blush, eyeshadow, and mascara.  My mom’s eyes are huge and deep set (think: bedroom eyes), and they always look gorgeous.  Lately my mom has been unhappy with her skin, and since she always compliments me on mine, I thought Bare Escentuals would be perfect for her.  It’s so light that you don’t feel like you have anything on your skin, but the results of wearing it give you an “airbrushed” look.  I know that totally sounds like a commercial, but it’s so true.

My mom ended up getting the foundation, Hydrating Mineral Veil, a Buxom lip gloss (which she is STILL raving about), and the Rare Minerals nighttime regime.  We each dropped $100 at the store, and I think my mom may be on her way to being a BE girl, too.

All in all, we had a great time together, and did our part to help stimulate the economy in the process.  I’d call that a pretty successful evening, wouldn’t you?

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I have tons of grading to get through this weekend, so I won’t be writing until Monday  at the earliest.  Do you have any idea how difficult it is to grade when the weather outside is in the 70s?  HARD!!  Between wanting to do just about anything but grade and all of the procrastination possibilities online and around my house, I’m going to need to work hard to keep focused on the task at hand, let me tell you!

Please send me good grading vibes this weekend.  I’m definitely going to need it.

In the mean time, check some of the fantastic bloggers in my blogroll.

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One of the perks of being a teacher is having long weekends and other vacations from time to time.  This weekend was one of those times.  Unlike so many of my friends and family who won’t be getting even 1  day off for Veteran’s Day, I got 2.

So what have I done with my glorious 4-day weekend so far, you ask?  Not a whole lot of anything.  Which is exactly what I needed.

It seems that for the past month, every day of every weekend has been jam-packed with parties, dinners, events, etc.  Which is all fun and great and everything, but once in a while it’s nice to just be at home doing NOTHING.

Well, not nothing, exactly.  So far this weekend I’ve:

  • Completely reorganized my closet to move out my warm weather clothes and replace them with cool weather ones.  The problem with this is that I don’t have a whole heck of a lot of clothes that fit me anymore.  But this is a good thing!  It means I’m quite a bit smaller than I was last year at this time, which is exciting.  I have quite a bit of clothes that I’m thinking of swapping/giving to someone.
  • Done a ton of laundry.  I had so much to do that the washer and dryer have been on for the past two days, practically without end.
  • Finally finished reading American Wife by Curtis Sittenfeld.  It was supposed to be my book club book that we were going to meet and talk about last Sunday, but since no one had finished it yet, we put off the meeting until this Wednesday.  The only probably is that now AM and I are the only ones who can meet. If you’re looking for a good, long book you can sink your teeth into, this is the one.  I absolutely loved it.
  • Spent too much time and too much money on QVC.  I really don’t order things from QVC ever, but somehow I got on some list that sends me emails about when Bare Escentuals or Philosophy is going to be featured on air.  Saturday night happened to be when Bare Escentuals was on, and being such an admirer of their cosmetics, I had to tune in.  I ended up buying a great holiday collection of colors for a really good price.  And I ended up getting some Amazing Grace items as well.  (These weren’t featured, but I started clicking on QVC.com and, well, $70 later….).  I have to say, it’s DANGEROUS!  They make everything sound so good that you’re tempted to buy way more than you should.  Thank goodness for “easy pay” and for the fact that I’m smart enough to only buy products that I know I love.  Otherwise I could’ve gotten into even more trouble.
  • Begun grading some essays.  Yes, I know, I said that with my new plan, I wouldn’t need to bring any work home.  Well, the plan has been working really well, but I have gotten a bit backed up with essays because I have an essay on The Crucible and then we also had a district-wide writing assessment in the same week, so I’ve had 6 sets of essays to grade.  I figure taking one day of this 4 day weekend to grade isn’t so bad.  Plus, it helps so that next weekend (the weekend before grades are due) I’m not so stressed.
  • Almost finished Thin is the New Happy by Valerie Frankel.  I have mixed reviews so far for this book.  There are parts I love and can totally relate to, and then there are parts where I feel she has completely overshared.  And that’s saying something, coming from me.  I’ve been accused of “oversharing” myself.  Overall, though, I’m glad I’ve been reading it, and I’m equally as glad that I got it from the library rather than paying for it.
  • Caught up on all my t.v. shows.  Last week was such a crazy week that I hadn’t really watched any of my normal shows.  I had episodes of Desparate Housewives, Gossip Girl, Grey’s Anatomy, Ugly Betty, and Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style to watch.  Now, many of you may be saying, “you watch too many shows,” and you’re completely right.  But that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop.  🙂

The plan for the rest of today is to finish grading, finish the laundry, go to the grocery store, and get in a workout.  Tomorrow I’m meeting my sister to go shopping and have lunch, since she has tomorrow off.

It’s been so nice to feel like I’ve had enough time to get everything done.  October was such a long, busy month that it’s nice to be in November, when we get two longer breaks.  Finally a bit of breathing room.

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