Before I get into what happened last night, I should catch you up. This post explains about my background with Mr. Could Be The One. This one explains how I became That Girl. And finally, this one talks about how Mr. Could Be The One turned into Mr. Done.
(It should also be noted that after Mr. Done appeared and things were supposed to be over, I did see him a few times, but it never ended up being what I wanted. Finally I found some self-respect and stopped responding to his texts and IMs. I told him that until he wanted to talk about truly dating, I didn’t think that either of us could offer each other what the other person wanted).
It had been quite a few months since Mr. Done had texted me. I’d started up my profile eHarmony, but that hadn’t really been panning out. All of the men that they matched me with just didn’t spark my interest for various reasons. I had recently met one guy, Mr. Sweet, who seemed to be really sweet, hence the name, but he has 3 kids (11, 6, and 4). That’s a huge undertaking in and of itself, but especially for someone like me who has decided she doesn’t want to have children. He and I had set up a date for today, just to meet and go to lunch, but I was hesitant, because I didn’t think we were in the same places in our lives.
And then Mr. Done texted me:
Mr. Done: “For the record…I’m looking for an ltr now.”
Bella: “Interesting. What changed?”
Mr. Done: “I’ve grown up.”
Bella: “I’m so happy to hear it. Good for you. :)”
Mr. Done: “You interested?”
Now, at this point, I stopped to ask myself if I was interested. The weird thing was, I had just thought about Mr. Done earlier in the day. I had tuned my radio to a station that plays all Christmas music this time of year, and Mr. Done was the first one who had introduced me to this station 2 years ago. It made me think of him and all of the fun we had together when we first went out.
Bella: “Of course. If you really mean it.”
Mr. Done: “I do.”
Bella: “I think about how wonderful you were when we were dating. How you surprised me with the Stanford theatre.
{On one date right before Christmas, Mr. Done told me he had a surprise for me. He took me to Palo Alto but wouldn’t say what we were going to do. We started walking in the downtown area, and stopped at the Stanford Theatre. They were playing Miracle on 34th Street, which I had never seen. The theatre was decorated for Christmas, and it was a really romantic night.}
Bella: “I really miss the way you made me feel. So special.”
Mr. Done: “Can I call you sometime?”
Bella: “Yes.”
Even as I type that text exchange, I get butterflies because Mr. Done and I have had so much chemistry. At the same time, I also worry that I may come off as too into him, even after he broke my heart. But as this was occurring last night, I kept thinking about how much I enjoyed my time with Mr. Done, and knew that it felt right to give him another chance.
Of course I called BFF to ask her opinion, because she remembers just how broken-hearted and depressed I was when I Mr. Done broke up with me. She said that she might not be the best person to ask, because she’s the Queen of 2nd (or 10th) Chances. I didn’t really need her advice, per se, but I wanted to discuss my thought process with her. I guess I needed her to tell me that I was making the right decision.
In my heart I knew that Mr. Done and I weren’t truly finished. Yes, he’d hurt me when he broke up with me. Yes, he had called me again and again looking for something more casual than what I wanted. But I could tell that there was something different about him this time. He reminded me of the person I had first met and fell for with when we were dating. I hadn’t gone out on a serious date since I’d gone out with him. And I know I’m ready to try it again, with my eyes wide open this time.
So when Mr. Done called last night, I was ready. He made a bit of small talk, charmed me a bit, and then asked me if I’d like to go out sometime. I told him I would. So we made a date for next Saturday. But in the back of my mind, I had so many questions that I wanted to ask him NOW. As we kept talking, he asked me what I had going on for the evening. I said I was just going to stay home and watch t.v. or read. He said he’d planned the same thing. And then I boldly suggested that we hang out. He said he’d love to, and asked if I’d feel more comfortable coming to his house or having him come to mine. I told him I’d rather go to his house, so I jumped in the shower, figured out the perfect “just hanging out” outfit, put on some makeup, and headed over to his place.
When he opened the door, I noticed that he looked much the same as the last time I’d seen him. He gave me a huge hug, told me I smelled great and looked so pretty, and asked me to make myself comfortable. We had a glass of wine and snuggled on the couch to watch a movie. The movie, Untraceable, was not great, or even good, but just being able to cuddle and hold hands with him on the couch was so nice. It really wasn’t about the movie at all, but I think you already figured that out, right?
The movie ended around 1am, and then we spent some time talking and enjoying each other’s company. We talked a bit about why things ended, and I asked him if I had pushed him too far or asked too much of him when we were dating. And then he said something that really made me feel wonderful: “Bella, it was never about your personality. I love your personality, even though you are intense at times. You might be too much for some people – too strong, and a bit intimidating – but I love that about you. I can handle you. You’re not intimidating to me at all. And I like the way we interact with each other.” My heart melted. Because he is so right. Often, my personality is too domineering for people, men and women alike, but especially guys I’m dating. I’m bold and blunt, and people don’t always know how to take me. But Mr. Done always knew how to deal with me. He stood up to me, and wasn’t overpowered by me. He has enough of a personality and a bit of “smart ass” in him that he and I just “work.”
We spent a few more hours talking and at that point it was past 3am and he said, “why don’t you just sleep over? No expectations, no hidden agendas. I just don’t think you should drive home this late when you’re tired.” So, I did. And it felt great. It was nice to cuddle with someone without any expectations or things moving too far too fast.
I left this morning around 7am because I had a date with Mr. Sweet from eHarmony. As I drove home, I realized that I didn’t want to go on the date with Mr. Sweet. And not because of Mr. Done, or at least, not entirely. Sure, when I compare the two, Mr. Done has more going for him than Mr. Sweet, because of our lifestyles. I have a history with Mr. Done that Mr. Sweet can’t compete with. Which may not be fair, but it’s how I feel. I wasn’t too enthused about Mr. Sweet even before Mr. Done contacted me. His having 3 kids is a lot for me, as I’ve already mentioned. I started thinking that it was unfair to him to meet up with him, have him pay for lunch, etc., knowing that I wasn’t interested in pursuing anything long term with him. So I texted him and told him that I didn’t think it was going to work out and that I didn’t want to meet up. He asked if it was something he had said, and I told him that it wasn’t him at all, that someone from my past had contacted me, and I was interested in pursuing that, and plus I didn’t want to waste his time. In true, sweet fashion, he said he understood, and wished me the best of luck. He truly is Mr. Sweet.
So, at this point, I think it’s safe to say that Mr. Done will now be referred to as Mr. Maybe. Not that I’m thinking that far ahead. Or at least, I’m trying not to. This time, I’m just going to go with the flow and let things happen as they’re meant to.
Either way, it should be fun.
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