Feeling heart-warmed and stupid, all at the same time

Yesterday I had a fantastic Saturday:

• Zumba in the morning
• Headed to Los Gatos to pick up our latest wine club offering at Flemming Jenkins with Ish.  We stayed for a free tasting, just because.
• Lunch at Willow Street Pizza to have their amazing summer salad special – skirt steak with peaches and goat cheese on mixed greens with a balsamic vinaigrette.  Yum!!!
• A quick trip to Benefit to buy some new lipsticks.
• A trip to Walmart to look for workout clothes – more about this on Bella on the Beach.

I was gone from 1:20pm to 6pm.  I was so tired when I got home, but as soon as I drove into the driveway, I noticed that my back door was open.  Not just unlocked, but OPEN!

At first I thought someone had broken in, so I quickly went through the duplex and saw that nothing was out of place.  (Well nothing that I hadn’t left out of place to begin with).

Which means that I left for hours without locking my door!!!  Stupid!!!!

I know exactly what happened, thinking back.  I was running late to meet Ish and I was trying to put the windguard up in the back of the convertible so that I could have the top down on the freeway without ruining my hair.  I couldn’t get the darn thing up (gotta read the manual) and I finally said, “F-it, I’m so late as it is, I need to go NOW.”  I remember putting the windguard in my little pantry area, and I thought I closed the door, but I definitely don’t remember locking the deadbolt.  One of the “tricks” with my back door is that it doesn’t close unless you really pull it.  I must’ve thought that I did, but I obviously didn’t.  When I looked at it, the bottom lock was “locked,” but that doesn’t really work unless the door is closed.

The thing is, I always lock my doors.  Always.  Always have.  Growing up, we lived in a really affluent area of the city with a very small crime rate, but we always locked the doors as soon as we came in the house.  Even in the middle of the day when we were all home.  I continue that habit at my own house, and always have.  Better safe than sorry.

Now what’s heart-warming about what happened yesterday is that even though my house was wide open and asking for someone to come in and steal the many valuable and expensive things I own, no one took a thing.  I live in a neighborhood that has a ton of foot traffic, much of it by homeless types who look like they’ve just gotten out of some sort of halfway house.  Some of them look crazy (literally), but they’re generally harmless.  Still, I make sure to keep things locked up, because you never know. It was such a relief to know that no one came in and took anything.  People respected the house.

I’ve always felt safe at home, and now I know that I truly am. That said, I still plan on locking the doors, just to be sure.

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Update: Getting a Life

Ever since I started my weight loss blog, I’ve been writing much less frequently on this one.  Because weight loss is my main focus (almost like a part-time job), it makes sense that I have more to write about that topic than any other.  Still, sometimes I feel badly that this blog, the one I started blogging with, gets pushed back to second-class citizen status.

One thing that seems appropriate to write about here is how I’ve been doing on my quest to “get a life.”  Last August, I wrote a post where I vowed to take back my life and stop living to work instead of just working to live.

I’m happy to report that I am now a reformed workaholic.

It wasn’t easy.  At first I felt like I was really sloughing off on my duties at work.  “I really should go to the play this weekend.” “The students would really like it if I went to that football/basketball/soccer game,” etc.  Instead of feeding into this guilt trip I was laying on myself, I just said no.  I took myself off of the numerous committees I had been serving on and kept only those that I felt were the most important.

Did I feel like I was out of the loop?  Yes.  Did I crave being “in the know” the way I was when I served on lots of different committees and attended tons of school events?  Sure, sometimes.  But that feeling of being slightly out of the dialed in group was well worth the time and energy I found now that I wasn’t spending so much time and effort at work.

It was a strange year for me because CTLB, my best friend at school and one of my best friends in life, left.  I felt a lot lonlier than I had in the past 4 years, when were were “joined at the hip.”  But before you start feeling too sorry for me, I do have an amazing group of friends at school, and we all eat lunch together every day, so it’s not like I sit alone in my classroom and grade papers while I eat a stale sandwich.  (That would never, ever be me, by the way).  We also had a new principal this year, and that made for a lot of changes.  Good changes, but still, there were a lot of things going on this year that left me feeling out of sorts a lot of time time.

But my life outside of the work day was fantastic!  I found that I had tons of free time, and I used it to try new activities, reach out to old friends and make some new ones, spend lots more time with my family, and just enjoy myself by doing whatever I wanted to do – riding my bike, reading a great (or trashy) book, watching movies, cooking, etc.

It seemed idyllic until the school said they were looking for someone to teach a “summer school after school” class.  I saw dollar signs and knew that if I taught the class I would have the money I needed for a down payment on my new car AND I wouldn’t have to work this summer.  So, beginning after February break, I gave up 60 hours+ of free time and taught the class.  (This may not sound like a lot, but this is on top of teaching 5 other classes.  Not to mention grading and prepping for 6 classes).  It is something that I’m glad I did (for the money), but will never do again.  It’s just not worth giving up that much of my life.

All in all, I loved having my life back.  I felt like I was a better teacher because I could look at things from a well rested, happy point of view.  I plan on doing more of the same this coming school year.  Actually, it should be even better because I’m only teaching one honors class, which will dramatically cut down on my paperload.  Can’t wait.

Ok, enough writing, time to get out there and LIVE!

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So, What Are Your Summer Plans?

Lately, I’ve been hearing that question a lot.  This is the first summer where I haven’t signed up to work, and I couldn’t be happier.  I’m looking forward to actually getting one of the full benefits of teaching – an entire 2-month period of time off.

My mom in particular is worried that I’ll get bored.  She knows me too well, because when I get bored, I start to spend money.  What better way to ebb boredom than to go shopping, right?  Well, not this summer.

This summer I plan to do nothing.

And by “nothing,” I mean that the plan is no plan. Nothing too specific. Mornings spent reading the newspaper while sipping coffee. Walking. Working out. Swimming. Biking. Lots if activity & focus on weight loss. Keeping the house super clean and organized. Feeling like every day is a Saturday, even when it’s Tuesday.  Thursday morning WW meetings. Seeing friends. Buying produce and flowers from the farmers market every Friday. Overusing my Netflix queue. Music in the Park. Cooking healthy, delicious meals for myself every day. Laying in the sun reading a captivating book. Shopping, but trying not to spend too much $.  Starlight Cinema.  Buying a new car in August when my current lease is up.  (I’m thinking a VW Beetle convertible would suit me perfectly).  A tiny bit if tweaking my current curriculum. And lots and lots of writing on this blog and BellaOnTheBeach.

Summer afternoon, summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language.

— Henry James

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3 Cheers for 2009!

2008 was quite a year, wasn’t it?  So many challenging things occurred around the world and here at home, but we made it through.  Some of us just barely, but we ARE here to live again another day.

Personally, 2008 was a pretty good year for me.

• I started on a serious weight loss journey that involved trying the South Beach Diet, medically supervised fasting, Medifast, and finally Weight Watchers.  I lost a lot of weight, but more than that, I gained a whole new perspective about how I wanted to live my life.  I decided I wanted to live in a healthier, happier way.
• I graduated with my Masters in Educational Leadership in May.
• I bought a beach cruiser and rediscovered how much I love riding my bike.  It doesn’t really matter what the destination is; it just makes me feel happy to feel the rush of wind as I pedal as fast as I can, or slowly cruise by.  I love looking at life and the things around me at a bit of a slower pace than normal.  It’s like I’m taking time to breathe when I’m on my bike.
• I went to CTLB’s wedding in Connecticut in August, and I was able to travel all over Massachusetts (Cape Cod, Boston, etc).  It was a trip I had been looking forward to for at least a year and half, and it was awesome.  I can’t wait to go back to  visit CTLB and her new hubby at their new place in Southie (South Boston).
• I made sure that my life had more balance.  I left work at work, which was HUGE for me.  Never before in my life have I had the sense that work is just work (although I love it), but that there is so much more to life than your profession.  I am still working towards figuring out how to define myself past what I do, but I know that will come in time.
• I started cooking for myself. All the time.  Delicious, healthy dinners.  And along the way, I discovered that I not only enjoy cooking, but that I’m really good at it.  I can’t wait to try out a bunch of new recipes (at least 1 a week) in 2009.  (I’ll be writing about those on Bella on the Beach, if you want to check them out).
• I started reading again in earnest, once I no longer had grad school books to read.  I’ve borrowed a ton of books from the library since May, and truly, it has been one of my greatest pleasures.  I even started a book club with some friends, something I had always wanted to do.  I really like the discussions we’ve had about the book choices.  Plus, it’s a great excuse to get a wonderful group of ladies together for an afternoon.
• I organized my life.  Top to bottom.  Floor to ceiling.  I feel in control, at ease, and happy.

Even with all of the positive things that happened to me in 2008, I am really looking forward to 2009 even more.  I have a terrific feeling about this upcoming year.  For myself personally, I think it’s going to be MY year, filled with many new triumphs and discoveries, capped off in October with my 20th high school reunion.  But thinking in a more global sense, 2009 means change.  Change in political leadership in our country, change in our perspective about how we should live our lives, and change in the way we deal with nations and people around the globe.

Tonight, New Year’s Eve, I am a bit sad that I don’t have that traditional “date,” but I know all good things will come in time.  HE is out there, I just have to wait and not settle for the Mr. Maybes of the world who might distract me from HIM.

As we welcome 2009 tomorrow, what is the thing you’re most looking forward to?

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My own little Black Friday

I had told myself that there was no way that I was going to go out with the masses yesterday to go shopping, no matter how good the deals were at the mall.  Instead, I stayed home, all warm and snuggly, and did some online shopping.

And by “some,” I mean A LOT!  I got gifts for everyone on my list except my parents.  I don’t know why, but those two are always the most difficult people to buy for.  I think part of it is that they’re always so generous with my sister and me, and I want to make sure to give them gifts they’ll really enjoy.  Of course, they’d appreciate any gift I give them, but I want to make sure to find them that special thing.

I don’t want to mention the gifts that I got, because most of the people I bought for read this blog, but let’s just say, I think they’ll all be pleased.

I feel so good to know that almost all of it is done already.  Now all I have to do is wait for the items to arrive and wrap them.

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Ahhhh…a 4-day weekend

One of the perks of being a teacher is having long weekends and other vacations from time to time.  This weekend was one of those times.  Unlike so many of my friends and family who won’t be getting even 1  day off for Veteran’s Day, I got 2.

So what have I done with my glorious 4-day weekend so far, you ask?  Not a whole lot of anything.  Which is exactly what I needed.

It seems that for the past month, every day of every weekend has been jam-packed with parties, dinners, events, etc.  Which is all fun and great and everything, but once in a while it’s nice to just be at home doing NOTHING.

Well, not nothing, exactly.  So far this weekend I’ve:

• Completely reorganized my closet to move out my warm weather clothes and replace them with cool weather ones.  The problem with this is that I don’t have a whole heck of a lot of clothes that fit me anymore.  But this is a good thing!  It means I’m quite a bit smaller than I was last year at this time, which is exciting.  I have quite a bit of clothes that I’m thinking of swapping/giving to someone.
• Done a ton of laundry.  I had so much to do that the washer and dryer have been on for the past two days, practically without end.
• Finally finished reading American Wife by Curtis Sittenfeld.  It was supposed to be my book club book that we were going to meet and talk about last Sunday, but since no one had finished it yet, we put off the meeting until this Wednesday.  The only probably is that now AM and I are the only ones who can meet. If you’re looking for a good, long book you can sink your teeth into, this is the one.  I absolutely loved it.
• Spent too much time and too much money on QVC.  I really don’t order things from QVC ever, but somehow I got on some list that sends me emails about when Bare Escentuals or Philosophy is going to be featured on air.  Saturday night happened to be when Bare Escentuals was on, and being such an admirer of their cosmetics, I had to tune in.  I ended up buying a great holiday collection of colors for a really good price.  And I ended up getting some Amazing Grace items as well.  (These weren’t featured, but I started clicking on QVC.com and, well, $70 later….).  I have to say, it’s DANGEROUS!  They make everything sound so good that you’re tempted to buy way more than you should.  Thank goodness for “easy pay” and for the fact that I’m smart enough to only buy products that I know I love.  Otherwise I could’ve gotten into even more trouble.
• Begun grading some essays.  Yes, I know, I said that with my new plan, I wouldn’t need to bring any work home.  Well, the plan has been working really well, but I have gotten a bit backed up with essays because I have an essay on The Crucible and then we also had a district-wide writing assessment in the same week, so I’ve had 6 sets of essays to grade.  I figure taking one day of this 4 day weekend to grade isn’t so bad.  Plus, it helps so that next weekend (the weekend before grades are due) I’m not so stressed.
• Almost finished Thin is the New Happy by Valerie Frankel.  I have mixed reviews so far for this book.  There are parts I love and can totally relate to, and then there are parts where I feel she has completely overshared.  And that’s saying something, coming from me.  I’ve been accused of “oversharing” myself.  Overall, though, I’m glad I’ve been reading it, and I’m equally as glad that I got it from the library rather than paying for it.
• Caught up on all my t.v. shows.  Last week was such a crazy week that I hadn’t really watched any of my normal shows.  I had episodes of Desparate Housewives, Gossip Girl, Grey’s Anatomy, Ugly Betty, and Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style to watch.  Now, many of you may be saying, “you watch too many shows,” and you’re completely right.  But that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop.  🙂

The plan for the rest of today is to finish grading, finish the laundry, go to the grocery store, and get in a workout.  Tomorrow I’m meeting my sister to go shopping and have lunch, since she has tomorrow off.

It’s been so nice to feel like I’ve had enough time to get everything done.  October was such a long, busy month that it’s nice to be in November, when we get two longer breaks.  Finally a bit of breathing room.

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NOW we can!

I don’t think I can put into words the overwhelming feelings of joy, hope, and happiness I’m feeling right now.  Today America made history by electing Barack Obama as the next President of the United States.  I felt empowered to vote for the only person who can lead our country out of the depths of dispair and into a new time of hope.

I know that Obama’s road ahead will not be an easy one for so many reasons, not the smallest among them being the color of his skin.  But for tonight, in this moment, I just want to revel in this victory.

The fact that Obama won in Florida, Ohio, and Pennsylvania shows that we as Americans truly believe in the change that he has emblazoned within our hearts.

I know that now, with this great man as our leader, we can change our country for the better.  I know we will rise to the challenges ahead, filled with the optimism that comes with this new day. I know that we can achieve the American dream, and prepare a better future for our children.

I have never been prouder to be an American.

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Taking back my life

For years, I’ve spent most of my time focusing on my work life – making sure I was the best at my career, whether it was working in industry (I worked at a famous internet company during the dotcom boom) or teaching. I give everything I have to my job, which leaves little for the rest of my life. When people ask me what I do, I always answer with pride, knowing that I have given everything I can.

The problem is that when the ask me about the rest of my life, there’s not a lot to say. Sure, I have great family and friends, but they always took a back seat to my work. My parents instilled a strong work ethic in both my sister and me, and I think I took that a little too far.

For years now, when school is in session, the rest of my life suffers. So much so that I become unhealthy – not eating well, not exercising, not going out with family and friends. Not living.

Many people think teaching is easy because of the short work day, but what they don’t realize is how much time it takes to grade all of the essays and other work that must be assigned in order for students to get enough practice so that they become better writers, analyzers, and critical thinkers. I think English teachers have it worse, because of the amount of writing involved in the day to day assignments (but I may be biased). I love teaching and interacting with students, but as I’ve written so many times in the past, the part of my job that I hate is the constant paperwork and grading that I have hanging over my head. Sometimes it gets so overwhelming that I can’t seem to look past it. So I avoid it, but I don’t do other things either. I’m stuck in a sort of limbo mode where nothing productive gets accomplished. I back myself into a corner where the only way I can finish all that I have to do is to stay up all night grading. It’s happened so many times in the past, and it leads me to living in a manner that I hate.

As this school year approaches on Monday, I am fiercely determined not to lose my life as I have in the past. Now that I’m finished with graduate school and all of the requirements I faced for the last two years, I’m really ready to start enjoying my life, even when school is in session. The plan for this year is to stay after school for two hours every day and grade as much as possible in that time period. Whatever doesn’t get done is going to be left for the next day. I am promising myself that I won’t take anything home with me. Not in the evenings after school and not on the weekends. (Unless I need to finish a few things during a grading period, but if I stay on top of the assignments, I shouldn’t have to do much of this).

I’ve made this plan several times in the past, but I’ve never executed it. I get so tired at the end of a school day that the last thing I want to do is grade papers. I take them home with me, but avoid doing them, and the piles just get bigger and bigger. And it leads to more frustration.

So I am telling myself that even though this plan hasn’t worked in the past, it will work this time. It has to. I cannot keep living my life only working. Because even though I may not have been grading, it was always in the back of my mind, and I could never truly enjoy my time away from school.

I want to be able to leave work at work, and live a full life. I want to keep up with the healthy habits I’ve put forth in my life, and I want to take those even further. I want to continue to enjoy my time with family and friends. And I even want to spend some time pursuing hobbies like writing, maybe through a non-fiction writing class.

It’s time for me to work to live and stop living to work. I know it’s easier said than done because I am a workaholic, but if I don’t change this pattern now, I know I won’t have the life I truly want to live.

I’m actually really excited by this new challenge I’m putting forth for myself. Because I have been unsuccessful at balancing my life in the past, I am that much more energized to do it right this time. I have a different mindset now. I know that my life is about a lot more than my job, no matter how noble my chosen profession might be. It’s ok for me to want to have a life outside of teaching, and it doesn’t make me a bad teacher, or a selfish person to want more out of life than a red pen and a stack of essays.

I’ll continue to check in on this blog with my progress, but I am hoping to have positive results to share. I’d like to ask any and all of you to keep my honest with this plan, and if you start to see me slipping back into old habits, that you’ll call me on it.

This is my chance to put me first, and I can’t wait to do it.

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Home Sweet Home

I got home at 2am on Thursday night/Friday morning, and I was too tired to think.  I was so happy that I had spent all that time cleaning the house before I left, because there’s nothing better than coming home from a trip to a spotless house.

I dragged all my bags into the house and was about to get changed for bed, when a thought occurred to me.  I was about to get into a welcoming bed with wonderfully clean sheets, and I was feeling less than fresh.  Spending more than 13 hours in airports and on planes can do that to you.  So, at 2:30am, I decided to take a shower and wash the day away.

It was the best decision I could’ve made.  As I crawled into my clean bed at 3am, I knew I was going to have a wonderful night’s sleep.  And I did.

__________________

As much fun as I had on my 10-day trip, I am so happy to be back home.  It’s so nice to be surrounded by the familiar comforts of home after being gone for an extended period of time.  I spent most of Friday and Saturday unpacking, doing load after load of laundry, and uploading over 450 vacation photos.  Oh, and blogging about the last part of my trip.

I had an amazing time on vacation, but it’s always nice to be back home.

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Precious Life

Today I had a huge wake up call about how precious life is.

I was out to lunch with the team I’ve been working with for my summer fellowship.  The phone rang during lunch, and I saw that it was my mom, but because we were at the table, I thought it would be impolite to answer the call.  I did wonder why my mom was calling during the day, because she never does that.  We finished lunch and headed back to the office.

When I got to my desk, I listened to my voicemail, and heard my mom’s message:

Bella, this is Mom.  I’ve been in a terrible car accident! {She was crying hard on the phone while saying this}.  The car is totaled.  I can’t reach Daddy.  Please get in touch with him so —-

And then the call went dead.  My heart sank and I couldn’t even think straight.  Was my mom ok?  Was she hurt?  Where was my dad?  And the biggest guilty question of all, “Why didn’t I just answer the damn phone when I rang?”  Now my mom was all alone, scared, possibly hurt, and who was there with her?

I tried calling my dad, but he didn’t answer, so I called my mom’s cell.  My dad answered it, and he said that he was following my mom, who was in the ambulance.  He said he didn’t know exactly what had happened with the accident, but that the car had burst into flames.  My mom was ok, though, and had been joking with the firemen and paramedics, so she couldn’t have been too badly hurt.  He said they were taking her in just to make sure she was ok, and that he’d call me once he knew more. I asked if he wanted me to go to the hospital, but he said, no, just stay and finish my day at work and meet them at their house later.

Those next two hours at work were hell, not knowing exactly what happened or how my mom was.  I called my sister and a few of my friends who are close with my mom, and just prayed.

I met my parents at their house and heard the full story: My mom had been driving to work, and wanted to change lanes.  She said she saw a gray van, and then the next thing she knew, she had hit a light pole.  And then the engine was smoking, and she knew she had to get out of the car, but she couldn’t.  The airbag went off, and she hit her head on it.  She said she was crying, but no one was stopping to help her.  She was so scared.  She said she thought she was going to die.  She was sure of it. She couldn’t even reach her cell phone, because it was spilled onto the floor.  Finally a man came up and helped her. He told her to open the door, and when she told him she couldn’t he somehow pried her out of the car.  Then he put her in his car and told her to stay calm, that she was alright and that the car could be replaced.  He asked if there was anything in the car he should get, and she begged him to go back and get her purse, which he did.  Soon afterwards, the engine caught fire, and the entire car was in flames.

My mom was hysterical, but told the man how grateful he was that he saved her life.  If she would’ve been in the car even 3 or 4 more minutes, she could’ve been dead, or badly burned, at the least.  He told her that he had a child who was killed in a car accident 2 years ago, and he wished someone would have stopped to help him.  This man was like my mom’s private guardian angel, and I will forever be indebted to him.  My mom got his address in southern California, where he lives, and she’s going to send him a gift as a small token of her esteem.

I cannot explain how relieved and grateful I am that my mom is still here with us.  She could have easily been killed in the impact of the car, or in the fire that ensued.  We are so lucky that she is alive and only has lacerations and bruises.  She is in a lot of pain, but those wounds will heal, and she’ll be around for a lot longer.

I told my mom that there is a reason that she was saved, and that she must have more to do on this earth before her time is up.  I told her that she should make the most of her life, and not put off things like vacations to Italy or buying something that she wants.  You never know when you might not be here, so you should enjoy life and the people you love while you still can.  She said she agreed, and also that she felt like her brother (who died a little over a year ago) was with her, and sending her a message to slow down and appreciate life.  That this was like a warning from him to take it easy, but that he was the one who was watching out for her today.  I think this idea gives her a lot of comfort, and I’m glad she’s found a peaceful way to think about the whole situation.

I think we’re all in a state of shock about what could have been, and still thanking God or whatever is “out there” that my mom was given another chance at life.

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Party Time!

Yesterday was one of the best afternoons/evenings of my life. I hosted a graduation party at my house to celebrate CTLB and I receiving our Masters degrees.

Whenever I have a party, I always go a little bit crazy beforehand making sure everything is ready: cleaning the house, shopping for food, getting decorations, and figuring out the right outfit to wear. Yesterday was no exception to the mania, in fact, there was a bit extra, just for good measure.

I have this old, wood table that used to be a workbench in the backyard. It was a bit dirty and dusty, but I figured that if I washed it off and covered it with a plastic tablecloth (that matched the cocktail napkins and appetizer plates I bought at Diddam’s, naturally), it would be fine. When my dad and I moved the table on Thursday night, we uncovered a water faucet that I didn’t realize was there. Mind you, I’ve lived here for a year and a half, and had never turned this faucet on. So, I got the bright idea to turn it on, fill my watering can with water, and wash off the table. Easy right? Not so much. I turned the faucet on, no problem, but when I went to turn it off, the spigot at the top of the faucet wouldn’t budge. The water was on almost full blast and wouldn’t turn off!! I freaked out for about 10 minutes, but then pulled myself together and called the management company so they could send the plumbers out to turn off the water. 3 hours and 2 crazed phone calls later, the plumber finally arrived to shut off the water. In the mean time, my backyard was practically flooded. A perfect setting for a party, don’t you think?

Luckily it was a really hot day yesterday (100 degrees in the shade), so the water quickly dried up and actually helped clean off the cement in the backyard. Crisis solved.

The rest of the day was spent running around mopping the floors, vacuuming the carpet, and getting the house ready for my guests. I also went to a couple of grocery stores for all the food, and got that all set up. The house looked great, the food was all ready, I looked nice (if I do say so myself), and then it was time for the guests to arrive.

Only all of my friends and family like to be fashionably late, so I sat around the house waiting for the party to start.  Soon enough people started showing up and the party was underway.  We all had a great time, and everyone really enjoyed themselves.  I kept thinking to myself, “I have such amazing friends and family.”  Each person at the party was truly thrilled for my achievement, and happy to partake in the celebration.

Flooding aside, the evening went off without a hitch, and it was one of the best times I’ve had in recent memory.

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Whoo HOOO!!!!

It’s finally over!!! I’ve graduated with a Masters degree in Educational Leadership! Whoooo HOOOOO!

Tonight CTLB and I gave our final exhibition presentation, which went wonderfully well. We got great feedback from our evaluator, as well as our peers.

Then during the graduation ceremony Glenn Singleton, one of our adjunct professors and a leading activist in anti-racism education and leadership, mentioned CTLB and me by name for our iMovie that we made involving our Professional Development for Equity Plan. What an honor!

Being the overly-emotional person that I am, as soon as he mentioned our names, my eyes welled up with tears. I was overcome with emotion because here was this great man mentioning our names in our graduation ceremony. It was so powerful.

As I reflect back on all of the work that I did with CTLB, I am so proud of all of our accomplishments. We went above and beyond expectations in everything we did, and people recognized that. We went beyond just learning the material — we made a difference in the lives of our students and colleagues. I’m amazed by everything we we’ve achieved.

I’m on cloud nine right now, and I think I finally see the sun shining down on me (even though it’s night time), and the angels are definitely singing.

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It’s almost here!

The day I’ve been thinking about for the last 2 years is almost here. All the money, all the papers, all the iMovies, all the surveys, all the planning, all the meetings, all the fieldwork, all the missed social engagements, all the reading, all the all-nighters.. have all been for this one day.

TOMORROW I GRADUATE WITH MY MASTERS DEGREE IN EDUCATIONAL LEADERSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!

I can’t believe it! I’m so excited that I wonder if I’ll sleep tonight. Of course, I have to, because I still have a full day of teaching ahead of me tomorrow, but still… how awesome is it that tomorrow night at this time I’ll have a masters degree?!!

In some ways it doesn’t seem real. I guess this must be sort of what it’s like the night before a wedding. All the preparation and planning comes down to one day that you’ve been anticipating for so long.

I never remember being this excited when I was about to graduate with my undergrad degree. I guess because this has been so much more challenging, and so much more rewarding, all at the same time.

Whatever will I do on Monday nights from 4:30 to 8:30? (I’m sure I can come up with something!!)

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Surprise, Surprise!

For the last month or so, CTLB’s mother and I have been exchanging emails.  She wanted to come out to CA from Connecticut to surprise CTLB for our upcoming graduation on Monday.  She suggested that I ask CTLB out for a celebratory drink, and she’d be able to walk into whichever bar we were at and surprise her daughter.

This is all easier said than done.  First of all, CTLB and I work 1 hour from her home in SF.  She and her fiance have 1 car, so she usually leaves around 3:30 or 4pm to go pick him up each afternoon.  There isn’t a lot of room for spontaneous suggestions of happy hour drinks.  Plus, how was I going to pick a place close enough to the airport for CTLB’s mom to arrive in a cab, yet not throw any suspicion about why we would be getting a drink so far off the beaten path?

I finally had to clue CBCB in on the surprise, to ask her for some suggestions.  She graciously offered to pick CTLB’s mom up from the airport and bring her to a pub that was closer to school, where we all often hang out.  Whew!  Problem solved.

Now all I had to do was make it through these last few weeks without somehow slipping up and mentioning the visit, offhandedly.  I was crossing my fingers that our devious plan would work and that CTLB would in fact be surprised by the visit.

Today she and I went to the pub and ordered drinks (yes, I broke the fast, but this was a very good reason, don’t you think?).  The entire time we were chit-chatting my heart was beating a mile a minute in anticipation of CTLB’s mom showing up to surprise her.

Then I saw her, coming down the street (we were sitting at a table on the outside patio, with CTLB strategically seated with her back to the entrance.  Pretty good planning, no?).  CTLB’s mom walked up next to her and said, “can I join you guys for a drink?!!”  The look on CTLB’s face was something like this:

It was a mixture of shock, confusion, joy, and WTF is going on around here?!!

The plan worked perfectly, CTLB was surprised, and her mom is going to have ball with her all weekend. I was so relieved that everything worked out and that the two of them were so happy.

Being sneaky for a good cause was really fun!  Maybe I have a future as an undercover agent?

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I can almost hear the angels singing…

I was joking with CTLB the other day and told her that after finishing our professional development plan and the last paper for class the other night, I expected angels to sing and the sun’s rays to break through the clouds. I was sort of disappointed with not feeling more relieved.

Now I know that some of this came because we still had a few things to do:

1. Get our action research project bound at Kinko’s
2. Create a powerpoint for our final exhibition presentation
3. Graduate!

Today we got one step closer to the singing angels, because we finished our powerpoint! And it only took us 4 1/2 hours. Considering it’s a 20 minute presentation full of information, this wasn’t bad at all. Especially since both CTLB and I are perfectionists. She’s the layout lady and I’m the copy queen.

I better get my sunglasses out, because I think those rays of sun are about to hit, and I can hear the angels warming up their vocal cords as I write this.

CTLB, this picture is for you!!!

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