Adventures with Bettie – Trip #1: Half Moon Bay

Today I should have cleaned the house, gone through cookbooks looking for new recipes, and done some laundry.  Instead I decided that since this was my first Saturday owning the new VW Beetle Convertible, I was going to take her for a spin.

My first stop was Michael’s, because what kind of Beetle owner would I be if I didn’t fill that bud vase right away?  I new I wanted a gerbera daisy, and I was hoping for a hot pink one, but they didn’t have much of a selection.  I settled on this one, and I really like it:

It’s the must-have accessory that I needed to make the car feel like my own.

My next stop was Radio Shack, to buy an MP3 cord so I could listen to my iPod songs while driving.  I have tons of songs loaded on my iPhone, just waiting for a long car ride.

I’d decided on driving to Half Moon Bay, which is one of my favorite spots.  What better place for a convertible than the beach, right?  Half Moon Bay is a lot easier to get to (even though it’s farther) than Santa Cruz, because on a hot Saturday, everyone in my city heads over the hill to go to Santa Cruz to escape the heat.

I thought I’d take a “short cut” that my parents’ friend had told them about – taking Hwy 84 through Woodside to avoid the traffic on 92.  Well, the road was beautiful and lined with redwoods on both sides, but it was a scary, winding path that had my heart in my mouth a few times.  Come to find out, it was no short cut at all because it took twice as long and brought me right to 92 where all of the traffic begins.  Still, it was nice to drive along a beautiful road with “Swoon” from the Silversun Pickups blairing on the stereo.  It was along this road that I though of the Beetle’s name – Bettie!  Bettie the Beetle Convertible! Don’t you love it?!

The ride to Half Moon Bay was so beautiful that I just couldn’t resist snapping a few photos on the iPhone’s camera.  I know it probably breaks tons of traffic laws, but there wasn’t much traffic, and we weren’t driving too fast, so I took the risk, and I’m so glad I did.  The pictures are fantastic.  A bit blurry in some cases, but so gorgeous.

Once I got to Half Moon Bay, I headed directly to Granada Beach, which is my favorite spot.  It is the spot I used to go all the time to just get away from my life and clear my head.  I used to write in my journal while sitting on a boulder along the ocean’s edge.  So peaceful and tranquil.  It also happens to be the spot where the love of my life propsed to me many years ago.  (We split up over 12 years ago, but I still think of him and wonder “what if.”).  The spot holds so many great memories that I love going there.

Afterward, I headed into downtown Half Moon Bay to get something to eat.  There’s a little cafe that I like to go to because it’s very quaint and easy going.  The food is good and the prices aren’t too high.  I ordered a BLT, and it was delcious.  I didn’t realize how famished I was (it was 2:30pm) until I started eating.  I guess I was so taken by my beautiful surroundings that I wasn’t paying attention to my grumbling stomach.

I left shortly thereafter because I wanted to beat the traffic out.  As I was driving I just kept thinking about how lucky I am to live this life.  I have my health, my wonderful friends and family, and now I have this new, dream car.  Sure, I would’ve loved to have a cute guy sitting in my passenger seat today, but that’s not where my life is right now, and that’s OK.   I feel so blessed, and I don’t usually talk that way, but that’s really the only way I can describe it.  I’ve worked so hard for so long and struggled quite a bit to get where I am, but now I feel like I’m leading a charmed life and I’m so grateful that I’m able to enjoy it.

To see pictures of Bettie’s first trip to Half Moon Bay, click here.

BTW, as I was eating lunch I decided that I’m going to make “Adventures with Bettie” a regular feature on this blog.  I’m not sure how often I’ll post new road trips with Bettie, but I’d like to shoot for at least once a month.  There are so many fabulous places within an hour or two from my house that I really do want to take advantage of it.  Plus, getting out in the car and driving is so much fun and so calming to me.

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38th Birthday – 2 Years ’till 40!

Today is my 38th birthday, and I guess it’s time for a bit of reflection.  38 is definitely in the “late thirties” category, yet I don’t feel that old at all.  I feel as though I’m in my late twenties, maybe.  I guess that’s because I don’t have a husband, children, or a mortgage, and all of those other things that go with being a responsible adult.

Being young-at-heart runs in my family.  My dad just turned 69 and he doesn’t look it or act it at all.  He’s still so full of life and vigor, and it’s wonderful to see him enjoying his retirement.  (Although he retired 3 years ago, he still substitute teaches because he says the kids keep him young).  My mom is the same way – she’s 62 years old and you would seriously never know it.  She has a really energetic personally that keeps all of us on our toes, and I love it!

This birthday marks 20 years since I graduated from high school.  The summer of 1989 was one of the best ever because it was the one between high school and college.  The summer on the cusp of growing up.  The summer when there were absolutely no responsibilities.  This summer feels very much the same way to me.  It’s the first summer in years that I haven’t worked, and I’m absolutely enjoying every minute of it – even the quieter ones.

So, what’s on tap for today?

• Well, I started the day with my WW meeting.  The news was good, and the meeting really helped me get on the right track for this week.
• After the meeting I got the car washed – I love the feeling of a spotless car.
• Then I came home and did the Wii Fit.  I don’t know what it was, but I broke all sorts of records today.  Maybe there were being nice because it was my birthday?  Or maybe I’m just advancing!
• I’m planning on spending an hour or so today just reading.  I’ve been really lax about reading this summer (too active, I guess), and it is going to be nice to just sit with a good book.  I’m reading Very Valentine by Adriana Trigiani.  Love her writing and I’m sure this won’t disappoint.
• Later this afternoon, my mom and I are going shopping!  She said that the gifts that I mentioned to her (she still likes us to give her birthday wish lists) were ones that she needed me to be there to pick out.  I’ve asked for some silver hoop earrings, a new coffeemaker, and a few other items.
• After the shopping, my mom is making me a birthday dinner – pasta with pesto, barbecued Italian sausage, and a salad.

A birthday spent with family – shopping and eating well – how much better can it get?!

Now to explain the title.  I know all of you can add, but to me, turning 38 is really a wake-up call to me to get back on track with my life list (aka Bucket List, only these are things I want to do by the time I’m 40).  So, I have two years to complete the following:

Things to do before I turn 40:
1. Lose 100 lbs. Working on it, but the progress is slow.  I’m vowing to do this, though.  It’s the most important thing on this list.
2. After weight loss, go on a shopping spree at Anthropologie and Ann Taylor Loft, knowing the clothes will look great!
3. Sky dive.
4. Own a convertible. I should complete this one in August, when I buy the new VW Beetle convertible!
5. Find balance in my life. (I’m so bad with the work/personal life balance). As I wrote earlier this week, I’ve got a great handle on this one.
6. Make spirituality a part of my everyday life.
7. Try yoga. I have not only tried it, but I discovered I LOVE Bikram yoga.  I haven’t been in a while, though, so I’m going to go this month.
8. Start meditating. I tried it a couple of times, but couldn’t seem to quiet my mind long enough.  It might be worth another shot.
9. Get a Brazilian bikini wax.
10. Go to the beach in a bathing suit and feel proud of how I look.
11. Go to NYC.
12. Go to Boston/Connecticut CTLB’s wedding in August ‘08. I’m hoping to go back next summer to see CTLB’s new house.
13. Run a 5K. (Maybe even a 10K). I’ve walked two 5Ks, and have another one coming up July 19th.  Not sure if running one will be realistic.
14. Meet “The One” aka “Mr. Right” and be engaged, or close to it.
15. Own a home (condo/townhouse), even if I’m still single.
16. Go on an exotic vacation to Bali or Morocco.
17. Learn to speak Italian.
18. Get some of my writing published.
19. Use my masters in educational leadership, either in school administration at my school or on the district level working with the new teacher program.
20. Adopt a dog.

So, you can see that I still have several of the items to work on.  Some of them are a bit unrealistic, but that doesn’t mean I can’t try.  You never know what you can do until you attempt it, right?

38 is definitely going to be a great year, I can just feel it.  There is no doubt that I will feel better than I ever have with my increase in activity, focus weight loss, and quitting smoking (July 15th).  There are so many things I want to accomplish, but like you know by now, I’m a girl who loves a goal, and I can’t wait to take some of these on!

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So, What Are Your Summer Plans?

Lately, I’ve been hearing that question a lot.  This is the first summer where I haven’t signed up to work, and I couldn’t be happier.  I’m looking forward to actually getting one of the full benefits of teaching – an entire 2-month period of time off.

My mom in particular is worried that I’ll get bored.  She knows me too well, because when I get bored, I start to spend money.  What better way to ebb boredom than to go shopping, right?  Well, not this summer.

This summer I plan to do nothing.

And by “nothing,” I mean that the plan is no plan. Nothing too specific. Mornings spent reading the newspaper while sipping coffee. Walking. Working out. Swimming. Biking. Lots if activity & focus on weight loss. Keeping the house super clean and organized. Feeling like every day is a Saturday, even when it’s Tuesday.  Thursday morning WW meetings. Seeing friends. Buying produce and flowers from the farmers market every Friday. Overusing my Netflix queue. Music in the Park. Cooking healthy, delicious meals for myself every day. Laying in the sun reading a captivating book. Shopping, but trying not to spend too much $.  Starlight Cinema.  Buying a new car in August when my current lease is up.  (I’m thinking a VW Beetle convertible would suit me perfectly).  A tiny bit if tweaking my current curriculum. And lots and lots of writing on this blog and BellaOnTheBeach.

Summer afternoon, summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language.

— Henry James

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3 Cheers for 2009!

2008 was quite a year, wasn’t it?  So many challenging things occurred around the world and here at home, but we made it through.  Some of us just barely, but we ARE here to live again another day.

Personally, 2008 was a pretty good year for me.

• I started on a serious weight loss journey that involved trying the South Beach Diet, medically supervised fasting, Medifast, and finally Weight Watchers.  I lost a lot of weight, but more than that, I gained a whole new perspective about how I wanted to live my life.  I decided I wanted to live in a healthier, happier way.
• I graduated with my Masters in Educational Leadership in May.
• I bought a beach cruiser and rediscovered how much I love riding my bike.  It doesn’t really matter what the destination is; it just makes me feel happy to feel the rush of wind as I pedal as fast as I can, or slowly cruise by.  I love looking at life and the things around me at a bit of a slower pace than normal.  It’s like I’m taking time to breathe when I’m on my bike.
• I went to CTLB’s wedding in Connecticut in August, and I was able to travel all over Massachusetts (Cape Cod, Boston, etc).  It was a trip I had been looking forward to for at least a year and half, and it was awesome.  I can’t wait to go back to  visit CTLB and her new hubby at their new place in Southie (South Boston).
• I made sure that my life had more balance.  I left work at work, which was HUGE for me.  Never before in my life have I had the sense that work is just work (although I love it), but that there is so much more to life than your profession.  I am still working towards figuring out how to define myself past what I do, but I know that will come in time.
• I started cooking for myself. All the time.  Delicious, healthy dinners.  And along the way, I discovered that I not only enjoy cooking, but that I’m really good at it.  I can’t wait to try out a bunch of new recipes (at least 1 a week) in 2009.  (I’ll be writing about those on Bella on the Beach, if you want to check them out).
• I started reading again in earnest, once I no longer had grad school books to read.  I’ve borrowed a ton of books from the library since May, and truly, it has been one of my greatest pleasures.  I even started a book club with some friends, something I had always wanted to do.  I really like the discussions we’ve had about the book choices.  Plus, it’s a great excuse to get a wonderful group of ladies together for an afternoon.
• I organized my life.  Top to bottom.  Floor to ceiling.  I feel in control, at ease, and happy.

Even with all of the positive things that happened to me in 2008, I am really looking forward to 2009 even more.  I have a terrific feeling about this upcoming year.  For myself personally, I think it’s going to be MY year, filled with many new triumphs and discoveries, capped off in October with my 20th high school reunion.  But thinking in a more global sense, 2009 means change.  Change in political leadership in our country, change in our perspective about how we should live our lives, and change in the way we deal with nations and people around the globe.

Tonight, New Year’s Eve, I am a bit sad that I don’t have that traditional “date,” but I know all good things will come in time.  HE is out there, I just have to wait and not settle for the Mr. Maybes of the world who might distract me from HIM.

As we welcome 2009 tomorrow, what is the thing you’re most looking forward to?

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Back to the Drawing Board

I’m sure that when you read this post about Mr. Done, you thought I was fooling myself.  Or that I was naiive.  Or that I wasn’t paying enough attention to recent history to make better choices.

And you would’ve been right.

You see, Mr. Maybe aka Mr. Done never did take me out on that date.  He called the morning of the date (last Saturday), to tell me that he had woken up with a bad sore throat, a stuffy nose, and a bad cold.  To say I was disappointed is putting it mildly.  To say that I took it well is giving me too much credit.  I was mad that we weren’t going to go out, an emotion that I chose to display as coldness on the phone call.  I told him in a very icy tone that I hoped he felt better, by which I meant, “are you seriously cancelling on me?”  When he said, “maybe we can reschedule for next weekend?,” I responded with another cold, “ya, maybe.  We’ll see.”

I think I was trying to come off as indifferent about the whole thing, and it must have worked.  Mr. Maybe/Mr. Done hasn’t called me.  At all.

Not after I felt guilty about how cold I had been and called him on Tuesday, under the guise of seeing if he felt better.  Not on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, or Saturday.  And not today.

Which leads me now being angry.  At him and at myself.  At him because he’s obviously still a flake who really isn’t ready for anything serious, regardless of his text message about wanting a LTR.  And at me because I gave in to this longing I have to be with someone, even though I knew in my heart that Mr. Maybe/Mr. Done wasn’t the right person for me.

Yes, he and I had fun together.  Yes he “got” me.  And yes, he has a good job and is intelligent.  But while each of those things sounds good on paper, none of them add up to Mr. Maybe/Mr. Done being the right guy for me.  He reminded me this week (in his loud absence) that when he and I were dating the first time, I was always waiting for him.  Waiting for his call, waiting for his attention, waiting for him to show as much interest in me, in us, as I had.  And I’m done waiting for him.

So, I’m back to square one.  Single.  Not that I wasn’t before last week, but I did have this tiny hope that this New Year’s Eve I’d be on a date, beginning a relationship that would be the stuff the dreams are made of.  That all this time spent by myself would have been worth it, because I was finally with someone who really did love me for me.

I don’t want to give the idea that I’m feeling self pity, because I’m not.  Yes, I was rather depressed this past week, but then I realized that I didn’t want to give Mr. Done this much power over my emotions.  He didn’t deserve it.  Plus, I still have so much work to do on myself, with my weight loss, and I think that it might have to be done alone.  Which is not to say that I’m not open to meeting someone while I’m still in the process of losing weight, because I am.  But I’m also ok with being on my own for the duration.

What scares me is the thought that I might be on my own forever.  I’m evolved and self-confident enough to know that if I am single forever, I can lead a happy, fulfilling life.  But there is a huge part of me that knows that I want to be with someone to share my life with.  I want to have a loving, normal, happy relationship with a man who loves me and can’t wait to spend time with me.  I know that I’m still “young” at 37, and that there’s no age limit on finding love and happiness.  I just have to keep my impatience at bay and fill my life with other things that make me happy.

Because you never know who is waiting, just around the corner.

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The Wedding

8-8-08.  One of the luckiest days in Chinese culture, and the day CTLB and M had decided on for their wedding.  The morning started out beautifully in Cromwell, CT.  The sun was shining, but the weather was still nice, not humid.  A perfect day for a wedding.  We had until about 2:45 before we had to leave to drive 25 minutes to the church for the 3:30 wedding.  It was nice to have a leisurely morning.  I took my time getting ready, and was so pleased with the way my dress for the wedding fit. ($40 was a lot for the alterations, but the seamstress did a beautiful job).

We left for the church, which was in Wethersford, CT.  A beautiful, historic, white church.  As we pulled into the parking lot it dawned on me that this was the first Protestant wedding I had ever been to.  All of the previous ones had been Catholic (except for DRMK’s who had a Pakistani/Muslim nika, followed by a Christian/Catholic wedding the next day).  The one thing I knew was that it would be quite a bit shorter than a Catholic ceremony, which was fine by me.

Inside the church was lovely — clean, white walls and dark wood pews.  No stained glass windows, like I was used to in a Catholic church, but still a beautiful venue, nonetheless.  As we sat in the pews waiting for the ceremony to begin, it was fun to see all of the guests arriving.  One entire pew behind us and to the right (groom’s side) was filled entirely with guys that M went to school with.  I’d never seen anything like it before.  Then again, at most of the weddings I attended,  I was one of the youngest guests.

The minister began with some nice words about commitment, honor, respect, and trust.  Then it was time for the exchange of vows, and M wowed us all with the ones he wrote himself.  I don’t think there was a dry eye in the house, and after the ceremony I told him that I never knew he had the heart of a poet.  He smiled.  CTLB’s vows were just as beautiful and heartfelt, but she added some much needed levity when she  told M that she “would be there to comfort him with the Red Sox, Patriots, or Celtics lost, and would be there to celebrate when they one.”  It was perfect, since M is more of a Boston fanatic than I’ve ever seen.

As the ceremony continued, I glanced out the windows of the church and saw that it was pouring rain outside.   Great.  I was in a sleeveless, satin dress, and hadn’t thought to bring my umbrella, since the weather was so nice when we arrived at the church.  What is it with this New England weather?  Sunny one minute and a downpour the next?!  Always be prepared, I guess.

We made a mad dash to the car after the ceremony and drove back to our hotel.  Watching the wedding that I had been looking forward to for more than 2 years, I felt so happy for CTLB and M.  They are the perfect couple, and more proof that true love does exist.  I hope that I can someday find someone who loves me half as much as those two love each other.

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I met Jen Lancaster!

Tonight I went to SF (two nights in a row!!) to go to Jen Lancaster‘s book signing for her new book, Such a Pretty Fat.

I was so excited to go to the Books Inc. in the Marina district of SF because it’s been over 2 years since I’ve gone to a book signing, and I love meeting authors and hearing them read from their newest books. Hearing the words spoken by the person who wrote them is like nothing else! Plus, I love hearing their thoughts on life and their interactions with the crowd.

And what a crowd! Lots of big girls who were all about girl-power, the typical SF-types who are overly politically correct, and a bunch of book lovers who couldn’t wait to hear one of their favorite authors speak. The room was buzzing in the minutes before Jen came out. Everyone seemed to know every detail of her life, and were regular readers of her blog.

I myself accidentally happened upon Jen’s blog through another blog I read. How glad I am that I discovered her, because she’s witty, sarcastic, a bit cynical, and struggling to lose weight — all the right ingredients to make a fun night and a great read.

CTLB joined me and told me that this was her first book signing ever! What a cool experience for us to share. Jen Lancaster has to be one of the funniest people I have ever heard. The whole crowd was laughing non-stop as she read from the new novel and answered questions from the audience afterwards. I couldn’t have asked for a better time.

Hearing Jen speak inspired me. I really hope that someday I’ll be able to write a book about some of the funny, touching, and intense things that have happened to me in my life. Why not?! This blog is a good starting place, and I’d really like to take some writing classes to hone the craft even further.

When it was finally my turn up at the signing table, Jen said, “Wow, you look just like every member of my family.” I asked her if she was Italian, and she said yes. “Well, half Sicilian.” And I said, “the best half. Or, at least, that’s what my mom would say!” She laughed and chatted a bit more with me. How cool is that? I told her I bet we were probably somehow related, as all Italians seem to be.

CTLB took some great pictures of the book signing, although it was hard to get good shots through the crowd of people who were there to hear Jen.

Here’s one of Jen signing the book for me. (Those eyebrows, black hair, and nose, wearing black? That’s me!! Nice cropping, huh? Gotta maintain the anonymity).

I thought it was cute that Jen was standing under a book called Smile, and a bunch of books from the ultra-princess-y Nancy series.

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Wishful thinking?

For as long as I can remember, I’ve always thought that my life would magically improve once I lost weight. Almost as if dropping the pounds would send out a signal to the universe that it was time for all good things to come into my life at the same time.

“When I’m thin, I’ll…”

• have a fabulous wardrobe.
• find “The One,” and fall as madly in love with him as he is with me.
• exercise all the time. I won’t even need to think about it, it’ll just be natural.
• be able to do anything that I want.

Now, it’s true that I’ll be able to find a lot of clothes that fit me, from a huge variety of stores. I won’t be limited to one or two “plus-sized” stores. The thing that I never factor into this is that I won’t be making any more money than I do right now, so how will I be able to afford all of these clothes? Not sure about that one. In fact, I bet I’ll be spending so much money on clothes (I know myself well), that money might be a lot tighter than it is now. But, I guess that’s the type of money problem I won’t mind having.

Somehow I’ve always tied my weight loss into finding the right guy. It’s a mental thing, I know, because there are tons of people out there who are overweight but have found love. And there are lots of thin people who haven’t met their significant others. I explained my thoughts on this in an earlier post. What I need to realize is that if I live my “thinner” life the way I currently do, I still won’t meet anyone. Mr. Wonderful isn’t going to come knocking on my front door or waltzing into my classroom. I’m going to need to put myself out there more than I do now. Which is fine with me. I’ve kind of put men on hiatus (the Man Fast), because I haven’t felt like dating anyone. I’ve wanted to put my concentration on myself and losing weight right now. Once I’m at a weight/size that I’m more comfortable with, I am going to join Match.com or eHarmony, or something like that. Because it seems that at 36, there aren’t that many opportunities for meeting men other than online dating. It’s not like it was in college, where you meet tons of people all the time and everyone is a potential date. When you get to be in your mid 30’s life gets more settled, more routine, and the opportunities for meeting men become somewhat limited. Which is not to say I wouldn’t be open to meeting a great guy at the grocery store, the gym, a bar, or at a bookstore. Because I would. But the likelihood is a bit slimmer, I think.

I’m hoping that if I really start working out and enjoying moving my body, whether it’s at the gym, in a yoga class, or riding a bike, it’ll stick. So many people who have lost weight seem to change their lifestyles and incorporate exercise as a natural part of that change. It make sense, but I’m hoping this will be the case with me. I know that if I don’t start exercising regularly and making it an almost daily habit, the weight will creep back on. It’s happened to me before, and I don’t want that to happen again. I feel like I’ll be putting too much into losing the weight to accept it back, under any circumstances.

I don’t feel stifled in doing anything right now. Well, at least not most things. I am a really confident person and have never let my weight stop me from doing the things that I enjoy. There are a few things that I avoid because of my weight like riding roller coasters (I don’t think the safety bars would “click” into place at my current weight) or sky diving (they don’t make those suits big enough for me, I’m guessing). So, once I lose most/all of my weight, you can bet that I’ll be hitting the amusement park and making an appointment to go sky diving. Actually, I’m hoping that I’ll be able to try a bunch of new things that haven’t occurred to me to do at this weight. I’m a fairly adventurous person, and I can’t wait to see what I end up trying once I don’t feel encumbered by this weight.

I’m hoping that my “When I’m thin I’ll…” ideas aren’t just wishful thinking, and that they will all become realities. I know some of them will be easier to accomplish than others, but here’s hoping for the best.

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On the last day of the year…

I can look back on 2007 and feel a mixture of sadness and joy, as with all years worth living, I suppose. A few things that stick out for me:

January: Lots of grading, going out with friends, and grad school work. A pretty nice balance, all in all.

February: Mr. Done broke up with me on Superbowl Sunday, but that would not be the last I heard (or saw) of him. I was so devastated that day, but now I think that he did me a huge favor, because he was not even close to be “the one.” February 20th was the date I started this Bella Blog, and it’s been a source of so much joy for me.

March: This was the worst month of last year for my family and me. My beloved uncle died on March 17th and our lives were forever changed. He was only 53 years old, and it was a huge shock for all of us. He had been in the hospital since the previous November, and he doctors told us he would never be back to the person he was before he got ill. I’d call it a blessing, but losing him is definitely nothing but a tragedy. He touched all of our lives in such a profound way, and I think about him all the time. It doesn’t seem real to me that he’s gone, but I hope to honor his memory every day.

April: The only good thing about April was that I had a week long break and CTLB had a birthday. Other than that, my month was spent doing things for grad school and work. No moments out enjoying “April showers,” unfortunately.

May: This month I went to a few weekday happy hours at a local wine shop, which were fun. This month also marked the end of my first year of graduate school. I breathed a huge sigh of relief that I was halfway through and had several months off.

June: School’s out! Freedom reigns… well, until I started my summer fellowship working at a huge, international company. The extra money helped me enjoy the summer a bit more, and led me to find balance. Working a “normal” job allowed me to see family and friends a lot more often than when school is in. I need to change that, somehow.

July: Any month that has my birthday and the 4th of July within two days of each other is a great month! I started taking the Buddhism in a Nutshell classes to explore a new philosophy/religion that I’ve been interested in for some time. This was also the month that I really began exercising (walking, pedometer, working out) in earnest. Lots of nights out with friends this month, as well.

August: The beginning of the month brought huge changes to my duplex — new couch, new paint in most of the rooms, and a new duvet. All the redecorating helped me turn this house into a home. Lots of nesting this month. August 7th was the night that Barry Bonds hit THE HOMERUN. I never expected to see it in person, yet by the luck of being Italian (it was Italian Heritage Night at the Giants’ stadium) it was destiny. Of course, school also started back up this month — the beginning of my 4th year at my current school.

September: Grad school and teaching are in full swing and the wonderful sense of balance that I felt in the summer is long gone. This was the beginning of my most difficult and demanding semester of grad school yet.

October: No major highlights, just working, going to school, and trying to see friends/family in the few moments of free time.

November: See above. Continuing the juggling act, although the ball marked “fun, family, and friends” seems to get dropped.

December: A month of significant changes. I began the South Beach Diet and started myself on the path of weight loss. The 3rd semester of grad school came to a close, with only one more to go! Lots of time spent with family and friends, well at least during the last week of the month, thanks to Christmas Vacation. Working out and yoga also became a new lifestyle for me this month.

All in all, not my most fun-filled or exciting year. Some pretty major things occurred, but looking back, many of the days were spent doing mundane things. I don’t want to repeat another year like this. I want to try to attain more balance to my days (and nights) and make more memories along the way.

December 31st is always a great day to take stock of the year that’s about to end and look forward to the coming year. I have said that 2008 is going to be the “new me” year, and I mean it. In fact, I’m not making any new year’s resolutions, only New Me Resolutions this time around.

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A Future Graduation Present to Myself?

When I was talking with BFF today after our workout, she was saying how she’d like to get a bike so that when she took her dog for walks, he could actually run and get more exercise. I had mentioned that I like beach cruisers, because they’re just so cool. She agreed, and I think she’s going to get one for herself soon.

When I got home, I looked online to see how much the bikes were, and I found a great one for around $120. Not bad at all. I love the way it looks, and I think it would be fun to tool around on in the spring and summer. We have so many really nice neighborhoods in my city that I could ride through, checking out the houses and waving to cute boys that might be outside. (You knew I was gonna throw that in, right?)

Here’s the one I’d love to get:

I love that it’s called the “Urban Lady.”  Maybe I’ll get it for myself in May for graduating from Grad School?

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This is why I love being a girl

Thursday night BeachGirl, CBCB, and I went to a Ladies’ Night at a local restaurant/bar to unwind. Every Thursday is Ladies’ Night at this place — it’s half off all drinks and nibbles (happy hour prices) all evening. It’s kind of nice being able to order a decent glass of chardonnay for only $4.

As the night progressed, we shared some of our recent stresses: everything from department meetings gone wrong, problems with the cheer squad, and finding out a student was pregnant. Being able to rely on each other for support and compassion while one of us rants, complains, or even cries is what being a friend is all about.

We moved on from normal work stresses and frustrations to sharing some of our own past secrets, disappointments, and struggles. We talked about why some of us (me) have decided not to have kids, problems with getting out of mini-depressions, wanting to be whole before we find “Mr. Right,” weightloss hopes, and on and on. We also talked about our plans and dreams for the future. It was so nice to feel so open with my friends. I think it helped us all grow closer that night.

We went to work the next day knowing just a bit more about each other, and relishing in our “sisterhood.” It’s so awesome being a girl!

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Post Secret

I was reading Single in the City’s blog the other day where she mentioned Post Secret. I had no idea what it was, but thought I’d Google it to find out. The project that was started is so cool — a sort of sociology experiment/anonymous group psychology. I love it! I’m going to buy the books as soon as I get paid on Thursday. What great coffee table books they’d make — real conversation starters. I was telling BeachGirl about the books last night while she and I were perusing Barnes & Noble looking up guide books for our Boston trip. We found the Post Secret books and realized how beautiful, touching, gross, haunting, sad, funny, sexy, and weird they are. Pretty cool that you can get all of that from a book of people’s postcard secrets, huh? I could relate to so many of the secrets, and I think that’s why this project resonates so much with people — we all have secrets that we need to let go of.  I know that I have plenty of secrets that would be post-able. Hmmm…. maybe.  The beauty is, if I do send one in, you’ll never know if it’s mine.

PostSecret

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On my last weekend of summer vacation…

I spent my time in a nice mix of work and play. I hope this sense of balance is something I’m able to carry with my into the new school year. Actually, not “I hope,” but rather, “this is something I am going to promise myself, through dedicated efforts.”

Saturday morning I made some coffee and read the newspaper, made some breakfast, and then started in on household chores like laundry, vacuuming, etc. I went online and bought some new clothes for school — 4 dresses and 4 tops for about $200 including shipping and tax, which was really good, I thought.

My parents and my niece came over for a bit, which was nice because now that my sister lives about 45 minutes away from me, I don’t get to see her family as much as I’d like to. My niece is really something special, she’s almost 5 and just started kindergarten, and what a personality she has! So sweet, but also just a touch of spiciness (which I swear she gets from me) that makes her a fun person to be around.

After they left, I headed to school so I could fix up my classroom. As I mentioned in my previous post, the janitors never seem to put things back the way they find it, but I guess I should give them a break, because they have a really hard job. I made copies, cleaned, organized, and rearranged furniture for about 3 hours. The room looks great, and I’m all set for the first day on Tuesday.

After school I left to do some grocery shopping for the week at Trader Joe’s. How much do I love that store? It’s the poor man’s Whole Foods, but I always find some new item that tastes great and is fairly healthy. I stocked up on EmergenC and women’s daily vitamins, so I should be all set for a healthy start to my days.

When I got home, I made dinner. Actually, all I had to do was microwave one of my previously cooked Dream Dinners. Each one is better than the next! I had chicken with cheese ravioli and pesto, a huge tomato from my dad’s garden as my salad, and a nice glass of pinot grigio. Ever since we repainted the breakfast nook I’ve been trying to eat in there instead of in the living room in front of the t.v. Not only is it easier to clear the plates and clean up afterwards, but it’s also more conducive to enjoying my meal. I read a good book (currently A Thousand Splendid Suns, which is amazing) and take the time to savor my food. It’s made a big difference in how much I enjoy my meal. I’m definitely going to keep this habit up, because I really like it.

After dinner I was going to watch some bad t.v., but got the idea to take a long bath. I filled the tub with bubble bath, lit some candles, put on some soothing music, and was all set. I don’t know why I don’t take more baths — it’s a really nice way to do something good for yourself. Before I got in the tub, I put on a facial mask and was all set. I lay there and drove all the little nagging worries out of my head. I thought about the school year that was ahead and told myself that this year was going to be different from the last because I would make a concerted effort to achieve the balance that was so lacking last year. No more staying up all night to finish that last set of essays. No more not seeing my family for weeks on end. No more feeling so stressed out that I can’t sleep at night. I’ve written about this before, but the new plan is to stay after school for 2-3 hours on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays to get work done. Maybe an hour on Friday, although I doubt I’ll feel like it. No grading on weekends, unless there is a grading period coming up. Weekends will be spent keeping up on the housework, doing work for grad school, and enjoying my time with family and friends. I also promised myself that working out would become even more of a routine than it is now. I have a 1st period prep, and since we’re on a block schedule, this means that I have a prep every other day. Having it 1st period means I don’t have to get to school until 9ish. (I really don’t “have” to be there until 10:05, but I want to get there around 9 so I can use my prep time and stay organized). On “B” days (when I don’t have the prep), I’d like to go to the local track to walk/jog at least once a week. I also thought that I should look into the yoga studio that BFF had told me about. I’ve only done yoga once, and it was a pi-yo class (mix of pilates and yoga), so I didn’t feel ready for it. This yoga studio has all different types of yoga, from Bikram to Vinyasa, so I would be able to check out the different types and decide which one is right for me. I think that yoga will be an excellent release of the daily stresses that are sure to come up this year.

After my bath I poured myself another glass of wine and sat in the living room with candles as the only light. I listened to Natalie Merchant’s hypnotic voice and just relaxed. It was a refreshing, relaxing night. So much so that I told myself I need to have quiet nights like that — with a nice dinner followed by a long bath and a few glasses of wine — at least once a month. Friday nights seem like a great time to unwind from the work week and get into the mood to enjoy the weekend. (On the Friday nights I’m not out enjoying the TGIFs that are sure to be planned).

Today I woke up and read the paper with my coffee and breakfast and then went to BFF’s house with Starbucks in hand. She and I caught up on our weeks and talked about everything, as we usually do. Topics included gardening, decorating, meditation, gratitude journals, what we want to be remembered for after we die, and men. Typical for us. Conversations always flow so naturally and we’re so open with each other. I never have to worry about what I say to BFF because I know that she’ll be accepting, offer advice, or simply give me the kick in the ass that I need, depending on what the situation calls for. I’m the same with her. It’s wonderful.

Afterwards, I met my mom for a shopping trip to Bed Bath and Beyond to get a few more items to decorate the duplex with. I bought a ton of stuff (a wall clock, a candle garden, 350 thread count sheets, and a few other odds and ends) and only spent $137, thanks to a bunch of 20% off coupons. I could’ve spent more, but I restrained myself. I’d already spent so much this weekend that I really had to keep it in check. Decorating and making my place into a home is so fun and I waited so long to put my personality into the place that now that I’ve started, I can’t seem to stop. Then we hit the fabric store to find the perfect retro print fabric for BFF’s sister to sew into kitchen curtains. It took us a L-O-N-G time to figure it out, but we finally settled on a thin striped fabric in shades of peach. We also selected a second fabric that’s got a pinkish peach background with tiny cherries on it. The two don’t sound like they’d go together, but they do. I think it’s going to look so 40’s/50’s when it’s all sewed and hung. I can’t believe how cheap fabric is! I bought over 3 1/4 yards of fabric and it only cost $11. You just can’t beat that!

After the shopping, we headed back to my parents’ house and had some cocktails. Then I came home and cooked dinner (Dijon chicken breasts with a panko crust(Dream Dinner), rice pilaf, and a salad of arugula and baby yellow tomatoes). I’m in the middle of doing more laundry and about to start reading 3 chapters for my class tomorrow night.

All in all I was able to live this weekend exactly the way I want to live the rest of my life from here on out — with a nice balance of work and play. Having this new mindset has really changed my feelings about school starting.  I’m usually in a sort of semi-panic/nervous state of mind the days before school is about to start.  Part of it is the excitement of starting school with a fresh group of kids to teach, but part of it is not feeling ready and dreading the impending workload that is sure to come down the pike.  I’m so excited about my new goal of leading a balanced life, and I can’t wait to begin this journey.

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What’s that sound?

I can hear them in the distance. The sound is unmistakable. The sounds are akin to an arcade, but so much more satisfying. The high-energy spinning and whirling. The fun pictures of cherries and “free spins.”

The sound of SLOT MACHINES hitting the jackpot!!

Today I’m heading to Cache Creek Resort & Casino to get my gambling fix in, and I can hardly wait.

Ever since BFF and her boyfriend went to Oregon and hit a few Indian casinos there, I’ve been jonesing to hit the slots. I love everything about playing slot machines, especially the randomness and unlikeliness of winning.

I know that it’s all pure luck and that the casinos work the slots to get people to keep at it and pour all of their hard-earned money into these little machines, but I don’t care. I think it’s fun, exhilarating, and something that gives me hope.

My dad has a tried and true game plan for keeping spirits up while gambling. When it gets to that point in the day when everyone is losing their shirts, he rounds us up and tells us it’s time to get something to eat. We have a good meal and go back to the slots with a new attitude and perspective. And wouldn’t you know that we start winning? It works like a charm every time.

There’s nothing better than setting up your own little superstitious way to hit the button and make those wheels spin. I usually stick to two or three different types of machines and play those all day. I devise little “rules” for myself about when to hit the “spin” button. And I ALWAYS play the max bet, because how much would it suck to win and not get everything you could’ve because you didn’t want to spend the extra 50cents?

So wish me luck as I spin those wheels today. I hope I’ll be writing tomorrow about the 10,000 jackpot that I hit.

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Update: Friday, Aug. 17

I thought you guys were going to send me winning vibes?  Well, somehow they didn’t hit Cache Creek I guess.  I lost $440!  When I think about what I could’ve done with that money instead — a bunch of new clothes for the new school year, 4 fancy facials at the nice spa I went to earlier in the summer, a bunch of iTunes songs, and the list goes on and on.   I had a fun time, and I did win a bit during the day.  It’s just that when you win early, you’ve got nothing else to do but keep playing.  And that’s how the casinos make money.   But, oh well, thems the breaks, I guess.

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My Life List

My book club just read The Next Thing on My List, by Jill Smolinski. The book is in the chick lit/beach book genre. (It’s a quick read!) The plot is predictable, but the premise of the book was so interesting that I recommended the book to the book club.

The premise – two women meet at a Weight Watchers meeting. The protagonist offers the younger woman (whom she’s just met) a ride home. While they’re on their way, they get into a car accident and the younger woman dies. In talking to the family after the funeral, the protagonist discovers that the younger woman had made a list of things she wanted to do before she turned 25. The protagonist feels so guilty (even though the accident wasn’t really her fault), that she decides to complete the list.

The thing I liked the most about the book was that it had the idea of making something that I call a “life list.” A list of things you want to do before you turn ___ age, or before you die.

Ever the English teacher, I asked everyone in the book club to come to the group with their own life list. To be honest with you, I knew that the life lists were going to be a lot more interesting than the plot of the book was.

So, I thought I’d share the items on my own life list with you. I chose each item really carefully, and found that I had to do a lot of self-reflection before I was able to make a list that I felt was not only realistic, but also worthwhile. Some of the things are fun and frivolous, while others are truly challenging.

Things to do before I turn 40:
1. Lose 100 lbs.
2. After weight loss, go on a shopping spree at Anthropologie and Ann Taylor Loft, knowing the clothes will look great!
3. Sky dive.
4. Own a convertible.
5. Find balance in my life. (I’m so bad with the work/personal life balance).
6. Make spirituality a part of my everyday life.
7. Try yoga.
8. Start meditating.
9. Get a Brazilian bikini wax.
10. Go to the beach in a bathing suit and feel proud of how I look.
11. Go to NYC.
12. Go to Boston/Connecticut (CTLB’s wedding in August ’08).
13. Run a 5K. (Maybe even a 10K).
14. Meet “The One” aka “Mr. Right” and be engaged, or close to it.
15. Own a home (condo/townhouse), even if I’m still single.
16. Go on an exotic vacation to Bali or Morocco.
17. Learn to speak Italian.
18. Get some of my writing published.
19. Use my masters in educational leadership, either in school administration at my school or on the district level working with the new teacher program.
20. Adopt a dog.

I’ve given myself 4 years to complete this list, and I vow that I will finish it. I’m sure I’ll write about each goal as I accomplish it. I can’t wait to get started!

What would be on your life list?

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