Lending Loser

Ok, so the title of this post isn’t exactly positive.  Actually, my last few posts on here haven’t been positive, which is not normal for me.  I’m usually a really upbeat person, and even though life isn’t always sunshine and roses, I try to see the best in each situation.  And, well, I guess if you read through the posts, you will see that even on a bad date, I find ways to make it funny.  Or, when dealing with bad neighbors, I try to see the silver lining in starting the home buying process.  So that’s a good thing – turning a bad situation into something positive is still in keeping with the way I try to live my life.

Last Monday I had an appointment with a lender that a colleague of mine is using.  He absolutely loves this woman, and couldn’t speak more highly of her.  The list of documents that I needed to bring with me to the meeting was daunting, to say the least:

• teaching credential
• employment contract
• 3 months of paystubs
• 3 months of bank statements
• 3 years of tax statements
• 3 years of W-2 forms
• rental agreement
• social security card
• passport

Whew!  I had to bring the teaching info because I was trying to get one of the special loans that my city offers to teachers.  I found an accordion divider that held everything perfectly, and was proud of how organized I was.  There was a slight moment (or hour) of panic when I couldn’t find my 2008 tax forms, until I realized that I e-filed last year, and had it all on the computer.  I tore my files and drawers apart looking for it, but hey, at least those are totally organized now.  LOL.

So I walked into the office very confidently on Monday, knowing that my credit score was good(ish) and that I had all of the necessary documentation with me. The office isn’t too far from school, and although they kept me waiting 15 minutes, I still felt good about the meeting.  CM greeted me and apologized for the delay, explaining that she had been out of the office a couple of days the week before, and was trying to catch up with everything.  Not a problem.

We headed to her office and began the process of filling out the loan application, reviewing my documents, and seeing what type of loan I could qualify for.  All of a sudden CM says, “girl, you make too much money!”  WTF?!  I have NEVER, EVER heard that phrase uttered regarding my income.  I’m a teacher, for God’s sake.  Is she nuts?  When I asked what she was talking about she said that I make too much money to qualify for the teacher home buyer loans.  How the heck is that possible?  Yes, I finally earn a decent salary, but I’m not making the top of the payscale yet.  Something seemed strange.  Then she mentioned that I also made too much to qualify for my city’s new home owner loans, as well.  ???  I had never heard that those programs were tied to money.  You’re either a first-time home buyer or you’re not, right?  What does money have to do with it?  Does  this mean that doctors and lawyers wouldn’t qualify either?  Because I can guarantee you that they make more than I do in the first few years of the profession.  Again, this info made me doubt her.

She did say that I could qualify for one type of loan offered through the teachers’ retirement system in California.  Ok, good.  They could give $55K, but it required that I had at least $3K of my own money.  Why?  I had already told her that my parent said they’d give me $10K if I really needed it.  When I asked if the money had to be my own, or if it could come from my parents, she said, “no, it has to be yours.”  When I asked her what difference it made, she said, “well, they’ll know if it came from your account or someone else’s.”  Really?  If it’s in my account, I think it’s mine, right?

Then we came to the part of the application where they were asking ethnicity. Her computer was set up in such a way that she had a screen that she could look at, but she had a 2nd screen that was facing me.  She began to check “Hispanic,” and I immediately corrected her saying, “I’m not Hispanic, I’m Italian.”  And she said, “well, maybe we should keep it as Hispanic, because you might get more money that way.”  I was FLABBERGASTED.  I told her that I wanted her to mark Caucasian, because that’s what I was.  I mean, here is the same woman who not 5 minutes before told me “they” would know if the money was mine or my parents’ yet she was now asking me to falsify my ethnicity to get more money?  Wouldn’t “they” also find out about that?  While we’re at it, why don’t we just put down “Native American,” since there’s probably even MORE money for them.  It’s ludicrous.

At that point she’d lost me.

She ran my credit, and the score was a lot lower than the one that I had run on myself.  I guess my car loan finally showed up, and at the beginning of any loan, it lowers your credit, until you establish a good payment record.  She said, “boy, I wish you’d talked to me before you bought that car because I would’ve stopped you.”  I told her that even if I had talked to her, I would’ve bought the car anyway, because my lease was up and I needed a new one. At that point I just wanted to see what the numbers said.

She  told me that I’d have to come with $20K of my own money and that I qualified for a $325K loan.  Now that may be a lot where you live, but in the Bay Area, that’s nothing.  Seriously, I can’t get a nice condo for that amount in any part of the city that I’d want to live in.  And I don’t want to downgrade where I live and find myself in an unsafe situation.  There are problems with where I live now, but at least it’s safe.  And I don’t own it, so there’s no long term commitment.  Plus, the mortgage payment would be $2100 (including $300 in HOA fees), which is a lot.  If I’m going to pay that much on a mortgage, I want to live in a really beautiful place.  After she told me this terrible news, she also said that because of my credit, I’d need to buy $13K in points to cover the closing costs.  Ok, so I have to come up with $33K of my own money on a $325K loan?  That’s 10%.  These days, people are putting 3% down.  Where are those loans?

I left her office telling her that I wanted to wait. That I didn’t have the kind of money she was talking about, and I needed to discuss all of this with my parents.  But really I just wanted to get out of her office.  She seemed so shady and I really wanted nothing more to do with her.  At all.

So here’s where I am: I’m going to stay here for the next several months and pretend that I’m paying $800 more in rent than I am.  I’m going to put that $800 in my savings account and save up some money.  Plus, it will mimic what my mortgage payment would be like, minus the HOA fees.  It will be good for me to see what my lifestyle will be like with that sort of mortgage payment.  I’ll be able to realistically see if I can really afford to buy something.  I know that by not buying this year I’m losing out on $8K in tax credits, but that’s the way it goes.  Maybe there will be a tax incentive next year, too.  And if not, so be it.  This is not the type of decision that I want to rush into.

By waiting for a while I’ll also be able to build up the credit a bit more, which will help with the amount a bank is willing to loan me.  I also want to consult a few other lenders/mortgage brokers to see if what this woman was telling me is accurate, or if she was out of her mind.  I want to make sure that I go to someone who is trustworthy and who has integrity, neither of which I felt in this woman.

They say that everything happens for a reason, and I think it’s better for me to wait right now.  I don’t want to move around the holidays.  Also, I just found out that I can’t get out of my 1-year lease, so I am stuck here until next October, unless I break the lease.  Which I’m totally willing to do, but I think I’d rather not have that added stress during the holidays either.

So, for now I’m still a renter.  Still dealing with noisy neighbors, but things have calmed down next door a bit, so I think I’ll be able to live with it, for now at least.

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The great dating experiment, update #1

I’m not sure if I mentioned it on this blog or not, but a couple of weeks ago, I signed up for eHarmony (again!).  Third time’s the charm, right?  I paid for a 6-month subscription because I figured that I should give it a good shot this time around.

This first dating update is actually about a date I went on with someone an acquaintance of mine set me up with, so he wasn’t someone I met through eHarmony.  Our mutual acquaintance thought that S and I had a lot in common, similar backgrounds, etc. and thought we’d really get along.  She asked us both if we were interested in meeting, and we connected through Facebook.

That was back in April.  S and I exchanged a couple of emails, but he never asked me out, even for coffee.  I wasn’t overly thrilled with the idea of going out with him because he wasn’t attractive to me, based on the pictures he had of himself on his profile.  Also, he and I have different political philosophies, which is a pretty important thing for me when looking for a serious relationship. At this point I should mention that the acquaintance thought we’d have lots in common because we both went to the same Catholic grammar school, were both Italian, and both had weight issues.  The stuff great romances are made of, right?  I seriously don’t know if I should be insulted or not, because this guy is definitely not what anyone would consider remotely good looking.  Which  may be completely superficial of me, but while I have a ton of weight to lose, I know that I’m a pretty girl, and I’m not as desperate as this acquaintance seems to think I am.

But, regardless of the misgivings I had, a couple of weeks ago, right after I signed up for eHarmony, actually, I decided to contact S one last time just to see if there was anything there.  I sent him a quick and very direct message on FB asking him if he was still interested in seeing whether or not our acquaintance was right in thinking that we’d have a lot in common.  He responded fairly quickly to say that he would love to, and suggested that we meet for lunch or coffee sometime.

We met on Tuesday at a Starbucks that was close to each of our houses, because Starbucks is such a safe first meeting place.  A cup of coffee can’t last that long, right?  Tuesday just so happened to be my first day of school, so I thought that I’d have a few funny stories to tell in case there was a lull in the conversation.  Little did I know that there was no need for me to worry about adding to the conversation.

No, it’s not what you might be thinking – that we had such great rapport that we didn’t have any lulls to worry about.  It was that S talked and talked and TALKED the entire time.  I’m talking literally for 1 hour straight!  And not about something that was interesting, but complaining about family politics, bragging about how much money they had, how he’d had weight loss surgery (but still needed to lose about 75 pounds), and then saying that he was glad he’d never finished his undergraduate degree because he didn’t even need it.  Um, hello?  I’m a teacher. Do you think I might put a value on education?  Instead of impressing me, he was a complete turnoff.  The entire time he was ranting and raving about himself and his family, I just kept wondering how long I’d have to keep this up. I didn’t really say anything the entire time we were having coffee, which is incredible if you know me, because I can talk to anyone about anything, but he simply never stopped talking long enough to give me a chance to share a thing.

Then, just when we were going to leave, he said, “say, do you want to grab a bite to eat at that restaurant right there?”  At this point I think that something took over my mind and body because I actually said, “sure, that would be great.”  WTF?  Why the hell did I just agree to spend more time with this self-involved bore?  What the heck was I thinking?  I’m convinced it was penance for some past indiscretion I’ve committed.

We made it through dinner (which was way more calories than I should have eaten, and is probably the reason the scale showed a 2-pound gain this week), but not before he started bragging about his mafia connections.  For some reason he thought it would be impressive to say, “you know, in a snap of a finger, I could ‘get rid of someone’ if I needed to.  I know who to call to get it taken care of and I know just where to put the body so that it would never be found.”  Way to smooze the ladies, S.  Puleeze.  The thing is, my family actually had some organized crime connections, although we don’t really discuss that too often, so it was hilarious to me that this guy was such a poser.  I can almost guarantee you that he didn’t know any local mafiosos, mostly because my family knows who they all are.  In any case, there was absolutely no point to him saying any of that, whatsoever!  Was I supposed to feel safe that he could have someone “taken care of?”  I’m still not sure what his point was.

Now, beyond his looks, it was truly his attitude that left me wishing I could click my heels 3 times and teleport myself out of the restaurant.  He was smug, fake, a braggart, and one of those people who make themselves feel better by putting other people down.  Such a sign of insecurity.

So, the date finally ended with a quick hug.  I told him to have a good night and he mentioned that he hoped to see me at an Italian festival that was happening this weekend.  Ugh.  So he was obviously hoping we’d see each other again. And why wouldn’t he?  I was a great listener!  LOL.

When he called on Saturday to see if I wanted to meet him at the festival, I let it go to voicemail and didn’t call him back.  Rude, I know.  I felt a bit guilty this morning, so I sent him an email through FB letting him know that I was really busy yesterday and didn’t have a chance to call him back or go to the festival.  Then I told him that while I thought we had a ton in common, I didn’t feel the chemistry was there.  He responded saying that he agreed about the chemistry (right, man, that’s why you invited me to go out with you again), but that he hoped we could be friends.  I haven’t replied.

It was definitely one of the worst first dates I’ve ever gone on, and I’m hoping that the next date (whenever that happens) will be much better now that I’ve gotten a bad one out of the way.  There’s only one way to go from here, right? 😉

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Feeling heart-warmed and stupid, all at the same time

Yesterday I had a fantastic Saturday:

• Zumba in the morning
• Headed to Los Gatos to pick up our latest wine club offering at Flemming Jenkins with Ish.  We stayed for a free tasting, just because.
• Lunch at Willow Street Pizza to have their amazing summer salad special – skirt steak with peaches and goat cheese on mixed greens with a balsamic vinaigrette.  Yum!!!
• A quick trip to Benefit to buy some new lipsticks.
• A trip to Walmart to look for workout clothes – more about this on Bella on the Beach.

I was gone from 1:20pm to 6pm.  I was so tired when I got home, but as soon as I drove into the driveway, I noticed that my back door was open.  Not just unlocked, but OPEN!

At first I thought someone had broken in, so I quickly went through the duplex and saw that nothing was out of place.  (Well nothing that I hadn’t left out of place to begin with).

Which means that I left for hours without locking my door!!!  Stupid!!!!

I know exactly what happened, thinking back.  I was running late to meet Ish and I was trying to put the windguard up in the back of the convertible so that I could have the top down on the freeway without ruining my hair.  I couldn’t get the darn thing up (gotta read the manual) and I finally said, “F-it, I’m so late as it is, I need to go NOW.”  I remember putting the windguard in my little pantry area, and I thought I closed the door, but I definitely don’t remember locking the deadbolt.  One of the “tricks” with my back door is that it doesn’t close unless you really pull it.  I must’ve thought that I did, but I obviously didn’t.  When I looked at it, the bottom lock was “locked,” but that doesn’t really work unless the door is closed.

The thing is, I always lock my doors.  Always.  Always have.  Growing up, we lived in a really affluent area of the city with a very small crime rate, but we always locked the doors as soon as we came in the house.  Even in the middle of the day when we were all home.  I continue that habit at my own house, and always have.  Better safe than sorry.

Now what’s heart-warming about what happened yesterday is that even though my house was wide open and asking for someone to come in and steal the many valuable and expensive things I own, no one took a thing.  I live in a neighborhood that has a ton of foot traffic, much of it by homeless types who look like they’ve just gotten out of some sort of halfway house.  Some of them look crazy (literally), but they’re generally harmless.  Still, I make sure to keep things locked up, because you never know. It was such a relief to know that no one came in and took anything.  People respected the house.

I’ve always felt safe at home, and now I know that I truly am. That said, I still plan on locking the doors, just to be sure.

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THIS is why I don’t do desserts

As you know, yesterday I spent the 4th of July by myself.  I didn’t deal with it very well.  I mean, it’s not the same as being by yourself on Christmas, but it is a holiday that’s meant to be shared with people.  Laughing, bbqing, drinking, and celebrating our nation’s independence. Instead, I was reminded of my own independence and got a bit depressed and down about it all.

After I took a 30 minute walk, I felt much better about my singledom and decided to spend time reading and watching the last few episodes of The Wire, which I had gotten from Netlix. (How AMAZING was that show?!  I’ve now finished the series, and wow, I loved it.  Yes, it was hardcore, but it said so much about city politics, policing, and how easily people can fall between the cracks.  If you haven’t seen it, I’d highly recommend it).

Anyway, back to the real reason for this post.

My parents, my uncle, and I are getting together today to have our 4th of July BBQ, a day late.  I’m going to wear the shirt I found on Cafepress.com.  The one that I thought I would wear on the actual 4th of July (until the plans changed).  I figure that I might as well wear it today, since I spent the money on it and I don’t want to wait a whole year to wear it:

I just love this shirt, and I think it captures the true spirit of this holiday.

As far as the food for the BBQ, we’re going all out – guacamole and chips (appetizers), turkey burger sliders, deviled eggs, pasta salad, and a green salad.  And for dessert?  Well, my mom found “the cutest recipe” in one of her online recipe websites (something along the lines of Family Circle, I’m sure).  It’s Rice Krispy Treats made to look like the American Flag.  Easy and adorable, right?  I said I’d make it, because it seemed easy, and I’m usually bringing some sort of appetizer to these events, so I wanted to change things up by bringing something for dessert.

I went grocery shopping on Friday and got the marshmallows and Rice Krispy cereal.  Then I went along the baking aisle to find some sort of icing that could be used for easy decorations.  I found “easy squeeze” frosting in red and blue ($4.85 each) and then I found an aerosol can of white frosting ($5.50).  This was going to be one expensive dessert.  But, convenience is something I don’t mind paying for.

I thought the easy squeeze packages had some sort of decorating tip on them.  They didn’t.  That was sold separately.  I should’ve gotten the aerosol can in all three colors (the aerosol can came with 4 different tips included.  I guess you do get what you pay for).  I imagined making the blue square in the upper left hand corner, then putting little white stars on it.  Then, I thought I’d make waves of red and white frosting for the rest of the flag.  Well, you know what they say about the best laid plans…

The blue frosting wouldn’t come out of the package!  Easy squeeze my ass!  I was using all of my muscle in both of my hands just to get the stuff out.  At one point I thought I was going to have to go to the store and buy the aerosol can of frosting, but then I told myself that I’d already spent way too much on this dumb dessert and tried to make it work.  I finally got the blue out.  Then I started on the red, giving as much force as I could – well, wouldn’t you know that the red came flying out?  In big red globs.  You would’ve thought someone was bleeding to death, from the looks of things around my kitchen.  Sigh.  Luckily, the aerosol can worked beautifully, and I used two different tips to decorate the stars and then the stripes.

With the creative use of a butter knife, I was able to salvage the look of the flag, but man, I am NEVER making this damn thing again in life.  There is a reason that I stick to savory cooking – I’m good at it.  Baking isn’t really my thing, and while I do make good cupcakes for my classes from time to time, anything that requires any level of real cake decorating skills just isn’t my thing.  Plus, I should’ve stayed away from any sort of recipe that would be featured in a middle America bake sale – Suzy Homemaker I’m not.

Anyway, here’s the finished product.  The camera wasn’t able to capture all of the mistakes.  Let’s just say that I hope it tastes better than it looks:

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Every time you make plans, God laughs

Isn’t that how the saying goes?

Regular readers of this blog know how long I’ve been looking forward to my trip to Boston. It’s been my inspiration for losing weight. I’ve been thinking about going back east for over a year. And now the day is almost here.

Originally, CBCB and I were supposed to fly out of my city on Sunday night, arriving in Boston on Monday morning at 11am, their time. About two weeks ago I checked my e-tinerary from Jet Blue and realized that my ticket was for Monday night, not Sunday. What? That meant I was losing a whole day in Boston! This simply would not do. I went into a tizzy and started calling the airline to see how much it would cost to leave on Sunday instead of Monday – $130 because the flight was more expensive and there was a processing fee. Too much money to spend for one more day, even if it was in my beloved Boston. (Is it strange to love a city you’ve never been to? I guess I’m anticipating loving it because of everything I’ve heard about it and all the people from Boston that I know who adore it).

So, I resigned myself to the fact that I wasn’t leaving until Monday night. Good, it gives me more time to clean the house (I hate coming back from a vacation to a messy place), take my time packing, and get all those last minute errands done. CBCB called the hotel and canceled our room for Monday night, since we wouldn’t be arriving until Tuesday morning. All set.

Last night I got a call from CBCB, who read me her e-tinerary, which said that she was leaving on Aug. 3rd. What? I re-opened my email, and told her that mine said Aug. 4. What was going on? She said she’d call the airline and let me know.

Apparently, when she booked our flights, she used a credit for her ticket. She booked hers for the 3rd, and then had to go back online to book, mine, which she booked for the 4th, accidentally. When she called to see how much it would cost to change her flight to Monday night so we could be together, it was $300 – ridiculous!!

So, she’s going to fly out tonight (I’m taking her to the airport) and she’s going to stay with a cousin of hers who lives minutes away from Copely Square, where we booked our hotel. I’m going to fly out on Monday night and meet her and BeachGirl in Boston on Tuesday morning, as planned.

Is it perfect? No. It would’ve been fun to be on the plane with CBCB and talk about our upcoming trip, etc.etc. Also, I’ve never flown across the country by myself, but I’m a self-sufficient woman who should have no problem doing that.

Looking on the bright side of the situation, now I can have some uninterrupted time to myself while I’m making my way across the country. I’m used to living alone, after all, and the next 10 days are going to be filled with other people living in close quarters with me. Which is fun, and wonderful, and all of that, but it might not be the worst thing to have some time to myself at the beginning of the trip. Plus, what choice do I have? This is the way things are.

In years past I probably would’ve been really upset about these changes, and let it get to me. Not anymore. I’m coming to realize that you have to accept things as they happen if you cannot change them. I’ve always been a positive person, but more and more I’m really trying to focus on the positive in what could be perceived as a negative situation. It’s healthier, keeps me happier, and makes life a little easier.

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Not so brilliant today

Today was my neighbor NC’s wedding. She and her fiance are two of the best people you could ever want for neighbors, and I was really flattered that she had invited me to celebrate this special occasion with her.

Because of the fasting, and the fact that I wouldn’t have known anyone there, I told her that I’d love to go to the wedding, but that I didn’t think I’d go to the reception. Plus, I told her, she wouldn’t have to pay for a dinner for me. She said she was perfectly fine with that.

I was really looking forward to seeing her and J get married. I knew she was going to be a beautiful bride, and that the ceremony was going to be special.

So after running lots of errands today, I finally started getting ready for the wedding. I was wearing my fun party dress that I wore for the Sex & The City party, had my hair in a fun half-up/half-down updo, and was feeling pretty despite the 99 degree temperature outside.

I drove to the church and arrived at the parking lot at 4:42pm. The wedding started at 5pm, and I was completely confused when I didn’t see another car in the lot. What was going on? Why weren’t her friends and family here yet? What the heck? I know she told me it started at 5pm, and I knew I was at the right church, so where was everyone?

I called AM because her sister CJ was in the wedding. I knew that AM or CJ would be able to tell me if I somehow got the time wrong. Maybe it started at 6pm, but I was almost positive it was 5pm.

I got on the phone with AM and told her the situation, saying that I was wondering where everyone was. She stopped me mid sentence and said, “Bella, Bella wait. The wedding was YESTERDAY!” What?! On a Friday? Oh shit, I had missed it. And then it hit me, the memory of NC telling me that they booked it on a Friday because it was going to be less expensive to have the reception on an “off” day. Dammit!

Here I was all dolled up and no where to go. And not only that, but I had missed their wedding. What a terrible neighbor. I’m sure she didn’t miss me at the wedding, but I’m also sure she wondered what happened to me.

I quickly called and left a message on her cell phone telling her how terribly sorry I was for my stupidity, and hoping that they were having an amazing time on their honeymoon.

Only to me, I tell you.

I definitely didn’t feel like the brightest crayon in the box today. Ugh.  Hopefully my adorable wedding present will make up for it.

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I see the light at the end of the tunnel!

When people have had a near-death experience, many of them talk about seeing a light at the end of a long, dark tunnel. No, I’m not near death, but after this weekend’s frenzy of getting my grad school portfolio together, I may be close.

I have gone through my entire program keeping careful track of all of my assignments, reflections, and the major aspects of my action research project. Everything is subdivided into organized folders on my computer. Organizing and collating this portfolio should’ve been a breeze, right? Not so much, unfortunately.

You see, for as neat and organized as I am with the electronic files on my computer, I am a mess at keeping all of the hard copies of my evidence, essays, reflections, and student samples in some sort of order. To be honest, I knew I had everything, the problem was: where? Looking back, I wish I had just dumped everything into a box in my room that I could sort through quickly. If only I had thought ahead.

As it was, I had papers in all sorts of places — in my binders, in my school bags, in my desk at school, and even in a box in the basement of my house. Ugh. Every time I looked for something that I needed I almost gave up hope, but then, miraculously, it would turn up.

Yesterday I spent a majority of the day organizing, compiling, collating, and writing. I worked from 11am-2pm. Then I went to CBCB’s house for a couple of hours to see her vacation photos from Greece (lucky bum). I came home and worked some more, but finally hit a wall at 6pm and decided to veg out in front of the t.v. for a little while. I think I fell asleep somewhere around 8:30pm and didn’t wake up until 10:30pm, when the phone rang. One of my grad school buddies was calling to check on how something was supposed to be organized. Good thing! The call was exactly what I needed to get my second wind. I worked from 11pm-5am. Yes, 5 am in the morning! Into the wee hours of the night. I finally went to sleep this morning at 5am and woke up at 10am. Then it was back to work, from 11-noon. A quick stop to my parents’ house to pick up a hole punch turned into two hours of me driving all the way to school to get my more industrial strength hole punch from my classroom. I got back home at 2:30 and was raring to go. I was printing fiend…until I ran out of paper.

HOW COULD I RUN OUT OF PAPER AT A TIME LIKE THIS? Didn’t I get that ream of paper I had at school? Where is it, it’s got to be here somewhere. Nope, I left it at school. Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!

Stressed out and panicked, I called BFF to see if she had any paper I could borrow. She had just returned from a women’s wellness weekend, and was as relaxed and calm as I was stressed and out of my mind. I was talking a mile a minute, and she was answering back in a slow, lilting voice. Talking to her actually showed me how tightly wound I was all weekend.

Paper in hand, I started back to work. Printing, stapling, and hole-punching. Getting everything in just the right spot in the binder.

And finally, I had done everything except finish my leadership growth essay. Nothing more to focus on as a way of procrastination. The majority of the paper had been written in February, so all I really had to do was edit a few things, add in some evidence, and write the conclusion. Which I did. I wrote a metaphor about a path, a journey, and how no one wants to follow a leader who doesn’t know where she’s going. It is actually very good, although after reading it, I wasn’t completely satisfied. I think that at this point I am way too close to it, not to mention a bit sleep deprived. I’ll look at it again later tonight and see I can perfect it any further.

But that’s not the point. The point is that I can see a small light at the end of the tunnel. May 12 is nearing closer, and soon I will be DONE. For now I’m done (lower case, since there’s still another paper to turn in next week), and I couldn’t be happier. It wasn’t easy, but this huge portion of my grad school coursework is now totally and completely and wonderfully done!!!!

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The Saux

Thursday night a group of my teacher buddies and I went to see the Boston Red Sox (the Saux) play the Oakland A’s as the A’s home opener.

We were all decked out in our Saux gear, ready to cheer on the team that we’d come to love through our friendship with CTLB and her fiancé. They are such die hard Boston fans that it become infectious, and you just have to cheer for the Saux. Plus, since the Giants are my main baseball team, but they’re a National League team, I feel it’s perfectly alright for me to like the Saux, an American League team. At least in my mind it is, and really, that’s all that matters, right?

We got to the stadium pretty quickly, considering there was a ton of traffic, and thought we were in good shape, until it was time to park. Signs read that the main parking lot was closed and we would have to park in the “overflow” section, which was at least 1/2 a mile from the stadium. We all said we probably should’ve taken BART to avoid this dilemma, but since we hadn’t we had to figure out something. We were disheartened until MF, one of the guys with us, saw that down the street, in the opposite direction we were headed, they were letting cars in, despite the “all full” signs. I took the risk of breaking at least 10 traffic laws and “flipped a bitch” right there in the middle of the road, against oncoming traffic. (I know the phrase flipped a bitch is pretty vulgar, and “made a u-turn” would’ve also been correct, but in this situation, when you’re breaking laws, the diction has to match the actions, don’t you think?) We pulled up to this side gate, paid the $15 for parking, and away we went. Lots of parking spaces available. I’m so glad we didn’t follow the signs and end up missing lots of the game because we had to walk forever just to get to the stadium. The moral of this little story, boys and girls: sometimes breaking the rules lets you get ahead.

The funniest thing about going to this game was hearing the hoots and hollers from the A’s fans in the parking lot because we had on all of this Saux gear. I guess I should’ve expected it, since it was opening night, but it was still pretty funny. Luckily, we were sitting in a section with a pocket of Boston fans, so we felt safe.

Speaking of our seats, they were amazing. Field level, right behind home plate, row 31. Amazing! So close to the action that you were sure not to miss a thing.

Other than accidentally spilling a little bit of beer on a man in the row ahead of me was I was trying to navigate to my seat, the night went smoothly. We had a great time rooting for the Saux, and even better, they won!!! Good times!

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Week off wrap-up

I had this last week off, and I had all sorts of plans for how I was going to fill my time. Some of them fun, some of them work, but all of them helping me get organized and ready for the long haul that I have ahead of me before Spring Break. (At this point in the school year, it’s all about living for the next week off!)

I didn’t get as much accomplished as I had hoped, but mostly this was because I made sure to take plenty of time for me.

I watched movies: Once, Dogfight, Jane Austen Book Club (from Netflix) and Juno (in the theatre).

I read: Lucia, Lucia and Rococo (I was on an Adriana Trigiani kick), and more of Into the Wild. Plus all of my daily blog reads (found on the blogroll).

What I didn’t read and should’ve: my book club pick Water for Elephants (I guess my Tuesday evening is suddenly free now) and some articles for grad school. I will make sure to get to the articles before I go to bed, since class meets tomorrow.

I did grad school work: CTLB and I spent 5 hours on Tuesday working on our action research project (thesis). It was great to accomplish so much, and just reinforces what a great team we make.

I forgot to pay my grad school fees: The 2nd installment of my fee payment was due on Monday, but it totally slipped my mind. By Friday the university completely dropped me from all of my classes! Yes, you read that correctly – I’m disenrolled. Ugh! So now I have to pay a $150 fine and go through some rigamaroll to get re-enrolled, but I guess I have no one to blame for myself. Good thing I have the money, including the extra for the fine, so this should just be a matter of going to the student services office and turning in paperwork and a payment.

I dined: I went out with friends twice this week. Thursday night to the Afgani restaurant and last night to a great Mediterranean place with CBCB (who was just back from Paris) and BeachGirl. I also went to The Counter, but since I ate that at home, that probably doesn’t count. Tonight I’m headed to my parents’ house for a mini-Oscar party. My mom has all sorts of “small bites” that she made for us to eat while we watch the Oscars (and judge the dresses).

I worked out: I went four times this week, which is a lot for me. I never made it to Club One as I had planned, but that’s ok. I’ve decided that I don’t need to join a chi-chi club; 24 Hour Fitness is great for my needs, plus it’s a whole lot cheaper.

I cleaned: I did the normal house chores and laundry, but I never made it to fully organizing all of my files and my new bookcase. The books are all organized, but I have a bunch of stationary and binders that I wanted to get set up. This will be finished before the end of this week — it sounds like a great weeknight project.

I cooked: I tried a couple of new recipes that turned out really well. I didn’t go through all of my great new recipe books and mark the ones I’d like to try, but again, this sounds like a great weeknight project.

I blogged: I wrote quite a few posts on this blog and my weight loss blog, and it felt great. I love having the time to write, a luxury I rarely have during the hectic work week.

I erranded: Ok, so I know this isn’t a word, but it seems like it should be. I ran a bunch of errands this week, which was great.

I decided: I made the decision that I will work this summer again. I was looking forward to having the summer off, but practically and financially it makes a lot more sense for me to work again. After I pay my parents back, the rest of the money will be fun money, which is always nice. Hopefully I’ll have lost so much weight by August that I need to buy a whole new wardrobe!!

I relaxed: Most days I slept in until at least 9:30, which is so strange for me. Even on the weekends, I’m usually up by 7:30, so this was really a treat. It also caused me to go to bed really late, but hey, that’s what vacations are all about, right?

All in all, I feel good about how I spent this week. I was able to find a nice balance between work and play. I can’t ask for more than that.

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$500 poorer

Or, $491, to be exact.  I’ve never had less fun spending so much money…except maybe when I’ve paid taxes.

Today I bought a dryer.  After heading down to the sketchy laundromat near my house last weekend, I realized how dependent I’ve become on doing my laundry at home.  So, today I bit the bullet and went with my dad to get a new dryer.

The first place we went to is an appliance store that my family and I have gone to for years, but their prices were really high.  $599 for a compact dryer just seemed like too much, even if it was a Whirlpool.

We left there and saw a small appliance store across the street.  Most of the goods in the store looked as if they had been picked up a flea market…or that they fell off a deliver truck.  The one compact dryer they had was dirty, and had a dent on the bottom.  I asked if it was new, and the guy assured me it was, but there was something not quite right about the whole thing.  He immediately dropped the price from $299 to $200, which made me wonder.  When I asked how long the warranty was for, he said 3 months.  Strange, right?  Even though it was a Kenmore, my intuition told me not to buy it.  It was too good to be true.

Next, we headed to another appliance store that has been in my city for years and years, but it has a reputation for being quite pricey.  Low and behold, there was a Maytag in the front of the store for $454, with a 1 year warranty.

I pondered whether or not I should get it, but my dad said that he thought I should.  He said that if I wanted to keep the dryer for more than a few years, I should get this one and not the $200 one.  I agreed, although it was so much money to spend.

We got home with the dryer and my dad started to hook it up.  It seemed to be really easy, less than 20 minutes.  Almost too easy.  When my dad went to push the dryer into place, after plugging it in, there was this huge power surge/arch.  Blue flames shot of out it, and I freaked out.  Sparks were flying, and thank God I had moved my laundry basket out of the way, otherwise I think we would’ve had a fire.  As it was, the aluminum exhaust hose had a hole burned in it.  My dad said we could just turn it around, so it would still work.

Now the only problem was that the power wasn’t on.  I pushed the circuit breaker inside the house, but it didn’t work.  Frustrated, I headed to OSH to buy another one, thinking it had burnt out.  I got back home and screwed it in, and no luck.  Ugh!  My dad and I looked in the basement to see if we could find another circuit breaker, but nothing was there.  Finally, my dad suggested it might be outside, and it was.  We pushed it, heard a click, and crossed our fingers that it would work.  It did!

The clothes are drying as we speak.  This dryer is a lot better than my last one, because it has actual temperature settings so my clothes won’t shrink every time I dry them.

I’ll never complain about doing laundry again.  Well, maybe I will, but I shouldn’t!

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The heat is on!

Today the guy came to fix the heater. Well, let me back up a bit…

The other night my 70-something-year-old neighbor and I went down into the basement to see whether or not my pilot light was lit. It was, barely. I turned on the heater and nothing happened. The flame didn’t get bigger, the heat didn’t come through the vents, nothing.

So my dad said I should call and have someone look at the thermostat and make sure it was all in working order. He said it might be a wire or something of that nature. At this point he also broke the bad news that my clothes dryer doesn’t run on gas like the heater, so the two things are not related. Great, so I just have bad luck. My dad said that since it’s electric and everything else seems to be working fine, the heating element might have burned out. He didn’t think it would be that expensive to fix, if I could find the part. I bought the dryer from my friends who used to live here and it’s an off brand. Danby Designer, to be exact. It’s worked great for the year that I’ve lived here, but now suddenly, it’s not. Air comes out when I put the dryer on, but it’s not hot air, so it takes the clothes 4-6 hours to dry. Nice and efficient, right? Anyway, I can’t seem to find anyone in my area who will fix this off brand, or even has the parts for it, so it may end up that I have to buy a new dryer. I checked online, and wouldn’t you know it, this model has been discontinued. My dad did say he’d come by sometime this week to see if the ducts needed cleaning out, but I know that with my luck, that won’t fix it, and I’ll end up buying a new dryer. Oh well. It beats having to schlep everything to the laundromat.

Back to the heater. So, I had left it on for the last two days, hoping that something would happen. Low and behold, last night at 6pm, the heat went on. It felt so good, especially because we’re having a cold snap, and the temps have dipped down into the 30s at night. Quite frosty for this California girl.

I kept the appointment for someone to come out today to look at it, because I figured that something might not be working properly, and it was better for the professionals to check it out.

The management company sent the plumbers who were here before when I had the flood. In fact, the same guy that told us about the flood in the basement is the one who showed up today.

He assessed the situtation and said that everything was working fine. He figured that there must’ve been dust or debris down in the heater, and it just took some time to burn off. He opened the thermostat and looked around, and deemed that everything was just fine. You’d think it would’ve been a quick visit, right? No.

This guy was flirting heavily with me. It would’ve been sort of flattering if he wasn’t so weird. He asked me several times what I liked to do for fun, and I answered vaguely that right now with grad school and school, I have no time to have much fun. (Which isn’t entirely true, but he didn’t need to know that). He mentioned at least 4 times how pretty my eyes were and how much he liked this place. He said that he was looking forward to coming to fix the heater today, because he’d get a chance to see me.

At this point I was considering whether or not I’d want to date him and then he helped me decide.

He started talking about how he can sense things. How when he first walked up to this house, he knew the person inside was warm and welcoming. (Ok, nice, not too bad. Some people are able to “sense” things). Then he said that he had “death dreams,” and went on to talk about how he was possessed when he was a child.

Does he sense the red hot alarms ringing in the air right now? Cuz I do!! Possessed? Is he serious?

He followed it up with, “I hope I’m not scaring you.” No of course not. Possession is something I look for in all my potential dates. What girl doesn’t? I kept telling myself to just smile and nod. Don’t make any sudden movements in front of the possessed man and slowly walk towards the front door so you can subtly tell him that it’s time to go. He left without further incident.

I had to laugh a little about how my charms seem to attract ALL the right sorts of men. Just another day in the life…

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Spirals

I normally love spirals — the swirling, whirling shapes are beautiful to me. I often choose jewelry, home accents, and even wrapping paper in this lovable pattern. Spirals are almost like a signature item for me.

The current spirals I’m dealing with aren’t pleasant shapes, however. These spirals are of the downward variety. My life has become so busy, so chaotic even, that I feel like much of it is spiraling out of control.

Before you get too worried and call some hotline about me, let me explain.

I’m in my 2nd to last semester of graduate school and my Action Research Project is really ramping up. Along with it, CTLB (my grad school partner) and I have to write pieces of what will eventually become our team portfolio (or thesis, if you will). It’s a lot of work, but I knew what I was in for when I signed up and since graduation in May is just around the corner I can hang in there.

The problem is becoming juggling the ARP work, the reading, the other papers, presentations, and the field work. I’m taking 12 units of grad school work and working as a teacher full time. It’s a lot.

The teacher thing is coming to a head for me because I’ve got tons and tons of papers to grade. Now I know that most people are thinking, well, don’t assign so many papers for the kids to write. But I just can’t do that. They need practice to improve their writing and they need my comments in order to see what they’ve done wrong (or right). It just adds up to a lot of time.

My house is fantastic, decorated so nicely, and I love it. Well, I used to. For the last two weeks (about the time the spiral started forming) it looks like a tornado hit the house. Clothes on the floor in the bedroom, kitchen and bathroom floors not mopped, lots of laundry to catch up on, vacuuming that needs to be done, dishes in the sink, etc. I know that if I took one day, I could get it all back to its usual tidiness, but I can’t seem to find the day to do it. Even on the weekends, there is always something else going on. Plus, I need to make a promise to myself that once it is restored to the normal cleanliness I’m used to, I will keep it that way. Ugh.

Lastly is my weight. I’ve been eating some of the wrong things, definitely eating too much in terms of portions, not working out at all. I feel sickened by my sloth-like existence. The problem is that my grand plan of waking up early on the mornings when I have my prep period and going to work out and then starting my day with it all done already hasn’t quite worked out. It’s so hard to get out of bed now that it’s so dark outside in the mornings. Not to mention that I just feel so tired. I know that if I was working out on a consistent basis like I was just a month or so ago I would feel so much more energetic. It’s just getting my body to understand that at 5:30 am that has become the problem.

So, all of these spirals are adding up and building stress and causing me to feel badly about myself and all that I seem to be lacking — time management skills, organization, determination. The spirals continue and grow larger.

So, enough whining. Now I need to figure out what I’m going to do about these spirals in order to get them under control before I end up having a nervous breakdown.

Grad school is grad school. It’s going to continue to be a lot of work and time. I just have to set up a schedule for myself so that I get it done in little bits rather than trying to do it all in major chunks. Plus, I’m very lucky that CTLB is doing this with me because she is the voice of reason when I can’t see things clearly. I hope I can be that for her, as well.

Grading is something that I have to get a handle on. I’ve struggled with this my entire time as a teacher — 8 years. I really started out the year with great intentions — stay at school 2 hours each day and work on the grading little by little. The problem with that is that I’ve had meetings everyday after school for the last few weeks, and by the time the meetings are done I don’t want to stay at school any longer to get anything done. So I bring the papers home with me, but then they just sit there, untouched and ungraded. My solution to this is to grade them as I’m watching t.v. so at least I feel like I’m enjoying myself a little bit. And maybe I don’t need to go over every essay with a fine-tooth comb like I usually do. Maybe I can just look for one or two areas at a time to focus on, instead.

Cleaning up the house is something that I actually enjoy.  It’s oddly calming to have a task and after a bit of effort, complete it.  I wish all things in life were as easy as washing the dishes or mopping the floor.  My problem has been about finding the time to clean things up and then keeping them that way.  I read an idea in Real Simple magazine that makes a lot of sense.  They said to spend 20 minutes a night and focus on one area of the house.  You really can get quite a bit done in 20 minutes, and it sounds like a manageable plan for me.  No matter how tired I am when I get home, I know that I can give 20 minutes to make sure that my house stays neat and organized, because that really has a huge effect on my mood.

My weight is serious and my bad habits need to stop. I have decided to join Jenny Craig in January, because I know that it really helps take the pounds off. Plus, it’s mindless — pop this meal into the microwave and eat it. No thinking or cooking or portion control needed. They take all of the guesswork out of it. I think I’m going to need that my last semester of grad school. Plus, I am still going to CTLB’s wedding back east next summer and I want to look good while I’m there. But, in the mean time, I need to control my eating and exercise habits so that I don’t gain any more weight before January. Actually, I haven’t really gained too much weight — maybe 5 lbs. I’m just not losing the 8.3lbs per month that I said I needed to in order to have 100lbs off by next summer. Still, any major weightloss will be significant in the way I look and feel, so I’m happy to get back my weightloss regimen now. I think I’m going to have to start working out after school, even though it will be tough because I’m tired. At least during the fall and winter months when it’s dark in the morning. I just have to push myself to get there, because once I’m at the gym, I’m great. I enjoy working out. Also BFF and I are going to give each other trial memberships to this cool yoga studio for Christmas, so that will be one more outlet for living a healthier lifestyle.

There are three other things that I want to start to do that I think will help me keep the spirals from forming:

1. Attend the weekly group meditation offered at the Dharma Center where I was taking the Buddhist classes over the summer.  I think that just going for 1 hour a week will help me feel centered and realize what’s important.  It will help me feel connected to the spiritual path that I started over the summer.  I’ve put all of my Buddhist classes on hold while grad school is in session, because I don’t feel like I have the time to be open enough to hear the meanings and the messages of the teaching at this point.  As soon as summer begins again, I’m definitely going to resume my Buddhist studies, because I enjoy them.  Plus, because these meditations are on Sunday, it’s a great way to begin the new week.
2. Stop myself from falling asleep on the couch every night.  In order to do this, I think I need to set a “get ready for bed” time for myself.  Maybe 10pm.  That way I can make sure I wash my face, brush my teeth, and get ready for bed each night.  Even if I spend the next hour or so reading, at least I know I’ll get a good night’s sleep in my bed.
3. Spend the last hour or so of my night reading the “getting your life in balance” books that I bought for part of my field work.  These books are wonderful, but I haven’t found/made the time to read much of them.  Not only is this an assignment for grad school, but I think that I can learn so much about leading a balanced life if I read the books.  Killing two birds with one stone, if you will.

I hope I can keep the spirals at bay for a while. Writing about it helped. Making a plan helps even more. Now all that’s left is for me to do it.

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I was there and I still can’t believe it!

It was about 9:30 on Friday night, and I was watching Grey’s Anatomy. (I had Tivo’d it). All of a sudden, I heard this horrible crash outside, and the strange thing was, it lasted a long time, and sounded so close.

I shot up and opened the front door to see a green Honda on the grass in front of my house!

Someone had been speeding (probably drunk) coming from the street that dead-ends into mine, whipped around the corner too fast, and hit this car that was parked in front of my house. The car not only jumped the curve, but went onto the grass mere feet from my front steps. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.

The Honda was completely crushed on the driver’s side. Luckily no one was in the car, because they would’ve surely been dead if they had. Broken glass and pieces of the car were all over the sidewalk. It was a mess.

One of the neighbors said that he saw a white car plow into this Honda and then take off. I don’t think the white car could’ve gotten too far, though, judging from the damage it inflicted on this green Honda.

I am so grateful that Honda was parked in front, because I think that otherwise, the white car would’ve ended up plowing into the front of my house!!!

Finally the police came to take statements and sort things out. Then the tow truck came to get the car out of our front yard. They never found the owner of the Honda. Can you imagine getting a call telling you that your car was completely totaled?

The morals of the story are…
Don’t speed down a residential street while driving drunk. (Actually, never drive drunk).
I really need to update my renter’s insurance.
If you come over to my house NEVER park in front of the house!!!

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My basement is FLOODED!

I had planned to spend most of this weekend getting myself mentally prepared for school.

You know, by shopping for cute new school clothes and things like that.  Haha.

I also planned to go by school and reorganize my room because of course the custodians never leave it the way they find it when they do a deep cleaning/wax on the floors.  I also need to make a bunch of copies of my class expectations and syllabi.

All bets were off when yesterday the plumber informed me that the basement under my duplex was flooded.  2-3 inches of water on the ground flooded.  Pipes burst flooded.

It all started on Thursday when my toilet backed up and overflowed.  I thought it was fairly odd, because in the year that I’ve lived here, that has never happened.  My dad came over to help me unclog it, because I don’t have a plunger.  He said that he thought it was fairly serious, so I should call the management company and have them send out a plumber.

Yesterday I found out that my next door neighbors were also having problems with their toilet, so we thought it was something with the sewer.

The plumber got here and asked to look in the basement, and lo and behold, it was flooded!  At least two inches of water was on the ground.  Luckily, I had all of my stuff up on a table, so none of it got damaged.  I did have one box of school stuff that had my dvd player, some cameras, etc. that was on the ground, but only the bottom of the box got soaked.  None of the equipment was damaged.  My yearbook was at the bottom, so it took most of the water on, but luckily I know the yearbook advisor, so getting a new one should be easy.    The neighbors had more boxes that were damaged, but the only thing inside of them were old vhs movies that they just threw out.

All in all I feel really lucky, but the plumber said that the main line was leaking in two places and another pipe had burst.  So, I think they’re basically going to replace the pipe that had burst, which links to my neighbors’ bathroom sink.  They “should” probably replace all of the pipes, but I know that’s too expensive and they won’t do that until they have to. 

Right now everything is working, and we can use all sinks, toilets, showers, washers.  The neighbors can’t use the sink in their bathroom, but that’s only temporary, until someone comes out to replace the pipes.

Nice.  Just when I get the house looking amazing this happens.  But again, I know it could’ve been a lot worse. 

Still, with all of the craziness of yesterday, I was able to get a lot of work done that I needed to for school, so it wasn’t all bad.  Sure, I had to reschedule my appointment with my stylist, but staying home for the plumber did force me to get quite a bit done.

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Just call me Grace

Today was a great day. I had gotten quite a bit of grading done and had papers to pass back to the kids. I had some fun activities planned for my classes. Plus, I was wearing a really cute outfit (if I do say so myself). My lunch was even delicious. You know, one of those days when everything is going your way.

That is, until I was walking to my car after school and I FELL on the asphalt.

Hard.
Ouch-this-fucking-hurts hard.

The strangest thing about it is that I had just sort of tripped as I was coming down from the curb outside my room and I thought to myself, “wow, it’s a good thing I didn’t fall. I’m wearing a skirt and that would’ve been –” I hadn’t even completed my thought and I was already on the ground.  Go ahead, laugh.  I would too if I were you.

Luckily, there were very few kids around, and none of them laughed. One girl even came over to see if I was ok, which I said I was. I thought that the only thing hurt was my pride, but I was wrong.

As I was driving home, my right leg started really throbbing. Almost like it was on fire. When I finally got home and looked at it, it was pretty badly scratched up. Nothing that I won’t get over, but still, at 35 you feel pretty silly when you fall.

I used to trip and fall all the time a few years ago. I thought that maybe it could be attributed to a lot on my mind or wearing bad shoes. Then I didn’t fall for quite a while, and I thought that maybe it had something to do with being in better shape or having lost some weight. Now that I fell again today (and actually, almost fell on Friday, but I caught myself mid-trip), I’m thinking that maybe it does have something to do with being overweight and out of shape. I’m hoping that once I start kicking my workout program into high gear I’ll be in much better shape, I’ll lose weight, and maybe I won’t be so klutzy. Or, it really could be the shoes, because I did have on sandals both days.

Who knows. My leg aches, but I’ll live. At least I got a blog entry out of it, right.

Here’s the “owie” to see the damage yourself:

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