The great dating experiment, update #1

I’m not sure if I mentioned it on this blog or not, but a couple of weeks ago, I signed up for eHarmony (again!).  Third time’s the charm, right?  I paid for a 6-month subscription because I figured that I should give it a good shot this time around.

This first dating update is actually about a date I went on with someone an acquaintance of mine set me up with, so he wasn’t someone I met through eHarmony.  Our mutual acquaintance thought that S and I had a lot in common, similar backgrounds, etc. and thought we’d really get along.  She asked us both if we were interested in meeting, and we connected through Facebook.

That was back in April.  S and I exchanged a couple of emails, but he never asked me out, even for coffee.  I wasn’t overly thrilled with the idea of going out with him because he wasn’t attractive to me, based on the pictures he had of himself on his profile.  Also, he and I have different political philosophies, which is a pretty important thing for me when looking for a serious relationship. At this point I should mention that the acquaintance thought we’d have lots in common because we both went to the same Catholic grammar school, were both Italian, and both had weight issues.  The stuff great romances are made of, right?  I seriously don’t know if I should be insulted or not, because this guy is definitely not what anyone would consider remotely good looking.  Which  may be completely superficial of me, but while I have a ton of weight to lose, I know that I’m a pretty girl, and I’m not as desperate as this acquaintance seems to think I am.

But, regardless of the misgivings I had, a couple of weeks ago, right after I signed up for eHarmony, actually, I decided to contact S one last time just to see if there was anything there.  I sent him a quick and very direct message on FB asking him if he was still interested in seeing whether or not our acquaintance was right in thinking that we’d have a lot in common.  He responded fairly quickly to say that he would love to, and suggested that we meet for lunch or coffee sometime.

We met on Tuesday at a Starbucks that was close to each of our houses, because Starbucks is such a safe first meeting place.  A cup of coffee can’t last that long, right?  Tuesday just so happened to be my first day of school, so I thought that I’d have a few funny stories to tell in case there was a lull in the conversation.  Little did I know that there was no need for me to worry about adding to the conversation.

No, it’s not what you might be thinking – that we had such great rapport that we didn’t have any lulls to worry about.  It was that S talked and talked and TALKED the entire time.  I’m talking literally for 1 hour straight!  And not about something that was interesting, but complaining about family politics, bragging about how much money they had, how he’d had weight loss surgery (but still needed to lose about 75 pounds), and then saying that he was glad he’d never finished his undergraduate degree because he didn’t even need it.  Um, hello?  I’m a teacher. Do you think I might put a value on education?  Instead of impressing me, he was a complete turnoff.  The entire time he was ranting and raving about himself and his family, I just kept wondering how long I’d have to keep this up. I didn’t really say anything the entire time we were having coffee, which is incredible if you know me, because I can talk to anyone about anything, but he simply never stopped talking long enough to give me a chance to share a thing.

Then, just when we were going to leave, he said, “say, do you want to grab a bite to eat at that restaurant right there?”  At this point I think that something took over my mind and body because I actually said, “sure, that would be great.”  WTF?  Why the hell did I just agree to spend more time with this self-involved bore?  What the heck was I thinking?  I’m convinced it was penance for some past indiscretion I’ve committed.

We made it through dinner (which was way more calories than I should have eaten, and is probably the reason the scale showed a 2-pound gain this week), but not before he started bragging about his mafia connections.  For some reason he thought it would be impressive to say, “you know, in a snap of a finger, I could ‘get rid of someone’ if I needed to.  I know who to call to get it taken care of and I know just where to put the body so that it would never be found.”  Way to smooze the ladies, S.  Puleeze.  The thing is, my family actually had some organized crime connections, although we don’t really discuss that too often, so it was hilarious to me that this guy was such a poser.  I can almost guarantee you that he didn’t know any local mafiosos, mostly because my family knows who they all are.  In any case, there was absolutely no point to him saying any of that, whatsoever!  Was I supposed to feel safe that he could have someone “taken care of?”  I’m still not sure what his point was.

Now, beyond his looks, it was truly his attitude that left me wishing I could click my heels 3 times and teleport myself out of the restaurant.  He was smug, fake, a braggart, and one of those people who make themselves feel better by putting other people down.  Such a sign of insecurity.

So, the date finally ended with a quick hug.  I told him to have a good night and he mentioned that he hoped to see me at an Italian festival that was happening this weekend.  Ugh.  So he was obviously hoping we’d see each other again. And why wouldn’t he?  I was a great listener!  LOL.

When he called on Saturday to see if I wanted to meet him at the festival, I let it go to voicemail and didn’t call him back.  Rude, I know.  I felt a bit guilty this morning, so I sent him an email through FB letting him know that I was really busy yesterday and didn’t have a chance to call him back or go to the festival.  Then I told him that while I thought we had a ton in common, I didn’t feel the chemistry was there.  He responded saying that he agreed about the chemistry (right, man, that’s why you invited me to go out with you again), but that he hoped we could be friends.  I haven’t replied.

It was definitely one of the worst first dates I’ve ever gone on, and I’m hoping that the next date (whenever that happens) will be much better now that I’ve gotten a bad one out of the way.  There’s only one way to go from here, right? 😉

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Reconnecting with friends after 20 years!

I can’t tell you how cool this week has been in regards to getting back in touch with friends that I knew in high school!  All thanks to Facebook.  I know that site is incredibly addictive and a HUGE time suck, but you gotta love it for getting old friends back in touch.

When I first joined FB, most of my friends were people I was in regular contact with.  One guy from my grammar school got on and started connecting kids from elementary school! Then all of a sudden more and more girls from high school (I went to an all-girls, Catholic school) started joining. Suddenly FB was like a mini reunion every time I logged in.  For the most part I would exchange “hello, how’s life?” with these people and that was about it.

This week, though, I’ve actually reconnected with two former friends, and I couldn’t be happier.

DH and I were great friends in high school.  She was even LC’s “big sister,” at school.  Then we graduated and went our separate ways.  No falling out or anything like that.  Just sort of lost touch as we were starting new lives at college.  When I first joined FB, DH was one of the first names I looked up.  Unfortunately, she wasn’t on there yet.  I guess she joined not too long ago, and found me.  I was so excited!  She lives really nearby, and so we set a date to meet for lunch – Tuesday.  DH looks exactly as I remember her in high school.  Seriously, she has not aged a bit.  She’s still that kind, warm soul that I knew then.  She and I have so many parallels in our lives that it was a bit eery.  We’ve both struggled with our weight, we’re both on WW, we both had bad past relationships that completely devestated our lives, and yet we’re both moving on and looking ahead.  DH has two children, 7 and 8, which blows my mind.  When I think of myself having kids…well, I can’t.  Still, she has it together, and she’s doing so well.  We were having such a great time catching up at lunch that neither of us realized that we had been there for 4 HOURS!  We had over 2 decades to catch up on, though, so that’s about right.  We made an instant reconnection, and even revealed some pretty painful realities to each other.  I think we’re going to be great friends now that we’ve found each other again, and I’m so glad.

TI also recently found me on FB.  She and I met right after high school in a college English class and became fast friends.  She actually introduced me to my first love (not the terrible relationship, this guy was “the one who got away”).  TI and I used to go out and party like I can’t tell you.  At one point, we were hitting different bars downtown almost every night of the week.  But then again, we were in our 20’s so why not?  TI and I lost touch because she got sick and tired of me throwing away my life on the aforementioned terrible relationship.  Then she moved to San Diego, got married, had a child, and we lost touch.  She called me yesterday and we were on the phone catching up for 2 hours.  Since TI lives in San Diego, I’m not sure how often we’ll be able to see each other, but it sure is nice to talk now and then.

There are tons of other people on FB that I’ve reconnected with, and it’s so fun.  So far DH and TI are the only ones that I’ve actually met and/or talked on the phone with, but I know this is only the beginning.  CC is moving back to SF from NYC in a couple of months, and once that happens, I know she and I will hang out all the time.  LCS, one of my all-time-best-friends-ever in high school who moved back east our junior year said she’s going to be coming out to CA next year!  I cannot wait.  She and I tried to keep in touch for a while (about 7-8 years), but then it got to be too difficult.  Now that we’re both on FB, though, we chat all the time.

So while some of you may not appreciate getting poked, sent virutal cocktails, or asked to join Mob Wars, you’ve got to admit that FB really is a great tool for reconnecting with old friends.

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Addicted to Facebook Flair

I spent at least an hour and a half today browsing through the flair module on Facebook. This time should have been spent grading more of the essays I have to finish before Tuesday.

What is flair, you ask? They’re little buttons you can post on your Facebook page. Think high school backpacks. There are so many fun ones to choose from that I found myself mesmerized. Unless you have some serious time on your hands, don’t get hooked into the Facebook Flair. It’s worse than heroin, I tell you.

What’s on my flair wall? I’m so glad you were wondering, because I want to show it off.  Here’s a grainy picture, taken with my cell phone:

Isn’t it cute? I like how it allows me to show some of my style off. It’s a really silly diversion, but it was fun. I even found myself sending flair to some of my friends on Facebook just so I could earn more credits to get more buttons of my own. Sick, isn’t it?

Good think they don’t have flair on WordPress, or I’d never get anything done! 🙂

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THIS is why I love teaching

One of my former students, whom I taught over 4 years ago, found me on Facebook and wrote this on my wall:

I am glad you are still teaching American Lit. We still talk about your classes when we get together and hang out. It’s funny thinking and talking about high school. We’ve been out for three years but it seems like it was just yesterday….

Knowing that my class made enough of an impact that a group of my former students still talk about me make me feel amazing!! No amount of money could ever replace that.

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