Lending Loser

Ok, so the title of this post isn’t exactly positive.  Actually, my last few posts on here haven’t been positive, which is not normal for me.  I’m usually a really upbeat person, and even though life isn’t always sunshine and roses, I try to see the best in each situation.  And, well, I guess if you read through the posts, you will see that even on a bad date, I find ways to make it funny.  Or, when dealing with bad neighbors, I try to see the silver lining in starting the home buying process.  So that’s a good thing – turning a bad situation into something positive is still in keeping with the way I try to live my life.

Last Monday I had an appointment with a lender that a colleague of mine is using.  He absolutely loves this woman, and couldn’t speak more highly of her.  The list of documents that I needed to bring with me to the meeting was daunting, to say the least:

• teaching credential
• employment contract
• 3 months of paystubs
• 3 months of bank statements
• 3 years of tax statements
• 3 years of W-2 forms
• rental agreement
• social security card
• passport

Whew!  I had to bring the teaching info because I was trying to get one of the special loans that my city offers to teachers.  I found an accordion divider that held everything perfectly, and was proud of how organized I was.  There was a slight moment (or hour) of panic when I couldn’t find my 2008 tax forms, until I realized that I e-filed last year, and had it all on the computer.  I tore my files and drawers apart looking for it, but hey, at least those are totally organized now.  LOL.

So I walked into the office very confidently on Monday, knowing that my credit score was good(ish) and that I had all of the necessary documentation with me. The office isn’t too far from school, and although they kept me waiting 15 minutes, I still felt good about the meeting.  CM greeted me and apologized for the delay, explaining that she had been out of the office a couple of days the week before, and was trying to catch up with everything.  Not a problem.

We headed to her office and began the process of filling out the loan application, reviewing my documents, and seeing what type of loan I could qualify for.  All of a sudden CM says, “girl, you make too much money!”  WTF?!  I have NEVER, EVER heard that phrase uttered regarding my income.  I’m a teacher, for God’s sake.  Is she nuts?  When I asked what she was talking about she said that I make too much money to qualify for the teacher home buyer loans.  How the heck is that possible?  Yes, I finally earn a decent salary, but I’m not making the top of the payscale yet.  Something seemed strange.  Then she mentioned that I also made too much to qualify for my city’s new home owner loans, as well.  ???  I had never heard that those programs were tied to money.  You’re either a first-time home buyer or you’re not, right?  What does money have to do with it?  Does  this mean that doctors and lawyers wouldn’t qualify either?  Because I can guarantee you that they make more than I do in the first few years of the profession.  Again, this info made me doubt her.

She did say that I could qualify for one type of loan offered through the teachers’ retirement system in California.  Ok, good.  They could give $55K, but it required that I had at least $3K of my own money.  Why?  I had already told her that my parent said they’d give me $10K if I really needed it.  When I asked if the money had to be my own, or if it could come from my parents, she said, “no, it has to be yours.”  When I asked her what difference it made, she said, “well, they’ll know if it came from your account or someone else’s.”  Really?  If it’s in my account, I think it’s mine, right?

Then we came to the part of the application where they were asking ethnicity. Her computer was set up in such a way that she had a screen that she could look at, but she had a 2nd screen that was facing me.  She began to check “Hispanic,” and I immediately corrected her saying, “I’m not Hispanic, I’m Italian.”  And she said, “well, maybe we should keep it as Hispanic, because you might get more money that way.”  I was FLABBERGASTED.  I told her that I wanted her to mark Caucasian, because that’s what I was.  I mean, here is the same woman who not 5 minutes before told me “they” would know if the money was mine or my parents’ yet she was now asking me to falsify my ethnicity to get more money?  Wouldn’t “they” also find out about that?  While we’re at it, why don’t we just put down “Native American,” since there’s probably even MORE money for them.  It’s ludicrous.

At that point she’d lost me.

She ran my credit, and the score was a lot lower than the one that I had run on myself.  I guess my car loan finally showed up, and at the beginning of any loan, it lowers your credit, until you establish a good payment record.  She said, “boy, I wish you’d talked to me before you bought that car because I would’ve stopped you.”  I told her that even if I had talked to her, I would’ve bought the car anyway, because my lease was up and I needed a new one. At that point I just wanted to see what the numbers said.

She  told me that I’d have to come with $20K of my own money and that I qualified for a $325K loan.  Now that may be a lot where you live, but in the Bay Area, that’s nothing.  Seriously, I can’t get a nice condo for that amount in any part of the city that I’d want to live in.  And I don’t want to downgrade where I live and find myself in an unsafe situation.  There are problems with where I live now, but at least it’s safe.  And I don’t own it, so there’s no long term commitment.  Plus, the mortgage payment would be $2100 (including $300 in HOA fees), which is a lot.  If I’m going to pay that much on a mortgage, I want to live in a really beautiful place.  After she told me this terrible news, she also said that because of my credit, I’d need to buy $13K in points to cover the closing costs.  Ok, so I have to come up with $33K of my own money on a $325K loan?  That’s 10%.  These days, people are putting 3% down.  Where are those loans?

I left her office telling her that I wanted to wait. That I didn’t have the kind of money she was talking about, and I needed to discuss all of this with my parents.  But really I just wanted to get out of her office.  She seemed so shady and I really wanted nothing more to do with her.  At all.

So here’s where I am: I’m going to stay here for the next several months and pretend that I’m paying $800 more in rent than I am.  I’m going to put that $800 in my savings account and save up some money.  Plus, it will mimic what my mortgage payment would be like, minus the HOA fees.  It will be good for me to see what my lifestyle will be like with that sort of mortgage payment.  I’ll be able to realistically see if I can really afford to buy something.  I know that by not buying this year I’m losing out on $8K in tax credits, but that’s the way it goes.  Maybe there will be a tax incentive next year, too.  And if not, so be it.  This is not the type of decision that I want to rush into.

By waiting for a while I’ll also be able to build up the credit a bit more, which will help with the amount a bank is willing to loan me.  I also want to consult a few other lenders/mortgage brokers to see if what this woman was telling me is accurate, or if she was out of her mind.  I want to make sure that I go to someone who is trustworthy and who has integrity, neither of which I felt in this woman.

They say that everything happens for a reason, and I think it’s better for me to wait right now.  I don’t want to move around the holidays.  Also, I just found out that I can’t get out of my 1-year lease, so I am stuck here until next October, unless I break the lease.  Which I’m totally willing to do, but I think I’d rather not have that added stress during the holidays either.

So, for now I’m still a renter.  Still dealing with noisy neighbors, but things have calmed down next door a bit, so I think I’ll be able to live with it, for now at least.

Read Full Post »

Exciting Possibility

Ok, so I should tell you right up front that I’m not going to reveal too much of what’s been going on because I don’t want to jinx anything.  Not that I’m especially superstitious or anything.  But, I am someone who has been accused of oversharing. Go figure, I’m a blogger, of COURSE I  overshare.

That being said, I did want to tell you all that a job opportunity has presented itself this past week.  It’s a position that I’ve been wanting for over 3 years, and it would have a huge impact on my life, my career path, and my future.  I am completely qualified for the position, and have a really good shot of getting the job.

The downside?  It’s so close to the start of the new school year, and if I were to take the position, I would feel as though I was leaving my classes and my colleagues in the lurch.  Sort of.  Not the English classes so much, because that is an easy position to fill, but the yearbook and journalism classes, because for some reason, there aren’t a lot of people out there who want to take on both of those duties.  I LOVE teaching those classes.  In fact, those classes are what keeps me sane as a teacher.  I am actually going to miss teaching those classes if I get this new position.

The new position itself?  I don’t want to give too many details unless it comes to fruition, and then I’ll probably bore you with the minutae of the job descpription.  It is still in my school district, and it’s obviously still in education.  What it isn’t is being an English teacher.  Which means that I will no longer have any essays to grade, should I get the job.  The pay is more or less the same as I make now, although I will get $2400 less per year, before taxes, because I won’t receive two of the stipends I currently receive.  But in thinking it over, I’d gladly take a $2400 cut if it meant not having to grade any essays.

So, I’ve turned in my cover letter, resume, and 3 letters of recomendation.  The position is posted until July 29th and interviews will take place about a week after that.  My hope is that they make a quick decision so that I can figure out my next steps.  If I get the position, it means I have to clean out my classroom.  10 years worth of materials and files and decorations.  Ugh.  But thankfully I have a huge basement to store everything in.

So, I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I get it, but if I don’t, I will hold true to my belief that everything happens for a reason.

Read Full Post »

Update: Getting a Life

Ever since I started my weight loss blog, I’ve been writing much less frequently on this one.  Because weight loss is my main focus (almost like a part-time job), it makes sense that I have more to write about that topic than any other.  Still, sometimes I feel badly that this blog, the one I started blogging with, gets pushed back to second-class citizen status.

One thing that seems appropriate to write about here is how I’ve been doing on my quest to “get a life.”  Last August, I wrote a post where I vowed to take back my life and stop living to work instead of just working to live.

I’m happy to report that I am now a reformed workaholic.

It wasn’t easy.  At first I felt like I was really sloughing off on my duties at work.  “I really should go to the play this weekend.” “The students would really like it if I went to that football/basketball/soccer game,” etc.  Instead of feeding into this guilt trip I was laying on myself, I just said no.  I took myself off of the numerous committees I had been serving on and kept only those that I felt were the most important.

Did I feel like I was out of the loop?  Yes.  Did I crave being “in the know” the way I was when I served on lots of different committees and attended tons of school events?  Sure, sometimes.  But that feeling of being slightly out of the dialed in group was well worth the time and energy I found now that I wasn’t spending so much time and effort at work.

It was a strange year for me because CTLB, my best friend at school and one of my best friends in life, left.  I felt a lot lonlier than I had in the past 4 years, when were were “joined at the hip.”  But before you start feeling too sorry for me, I do have an amazing group of friends at school, and we all eat lunch together every day, so it’s not like I sit alone in my classroom and grade papers while I eat a stale sandwich.  (That would never, ever be me, by the way).  We also had a new principal this year, and that made for a lot of changes.  Good changes, but still, there were a lot of things going on this year that left me feeling out of sorts a lot of time time.

But my life outside of the work day was fantastic!  I found that I had tons of free time, and I used it to try new activities, reach out to old friends and make some new ones, spend lots more time with my family, and just enjoy myself by doing whatever I wanted to do – riding my bike, reading a great (or trashy) book, watching movies, cooking, etc.

It seemed idyllic until the school said they were looking for someone to teach a “summer school after school” class.  I saw dollar signs and knew that if I taught the class I would have the money I needed for a down payment on my new car AND I wouldn’t have to work this summer.  So, beginning after February break, I gave up 60 hours+ of free time and taught the class.  (This may not sound like a lot, but this is on top of teaching 5 other classes.  Not to mention grading and prepping for 6 classes).  It is something that I’m glad I did (for the money), but will never do again.  It’s just not worth giving up that much of my life.

All in all, I loved having my life back.  I felt like I was a better teacher because I could look at things from a well rested, happy point of view.  I plan on doing more of the same this coming school year.  Actually, it should be even better because I’m only teaching one honors class, which will dramatically cut down on my paperload.  Can’t wait.

Ok, enough writing, time to get out there and LIVE!

Read Full Post »

Sometimes it really is the little things

Is today really Monday?  Aren’t Mondays supposed to be yucky and awful and hard to deal with?

Today has been a fantastic day!  From the time I got up (early, before the alarm!) all the way until I got home, things have been going great.

Not only did I have time to sit down, read the newspaper, enjoy a cup of coffee and my breakfast at home, but I also got to work earlier than normal.  This is quite a feat for me, since I’m usually running to my classroom just in time to beat the 5 minute bell.  Unlike other jobs, teaching requires that I be there exactly at a certain time, with hardly any leeway.  It was so nice to be able to get to my room with plenty of time to prepare for the day ahead.  (Usually I make sure that I have everything ready, including writing the next day’s agenda on the board, just in case).

My classes went wonderfully, despite the fact that my honors students had a research paper due today.  Usually the days that papers are due are the ones that cause major stress for my type-A, overachieving students.  Today most of them were completely prepared and calm, which really helps set a nice tone for the day.  Plus, they’re really enjoying the new novel we just started, which is always nice.

Then, after lunch, I was surprised to discover that I got paid a day early!  Considering that I only get paid once a month, getting my check a whole day in advance was awesome.  I was able to come home after a few errands and pay all of my bills early.  It’s so nice to feel organized and ready for the month ahead.

I even had a bit extra this month, so I treated myself to some new makeup from Sephora.  Speaking of which, I’m not sure how you are, but I’m a really loyal to certain brands of makeup, and making a change is a really big deal for me.  For several years now, I’ve been using Bare Escentuals.  I like the lightness of the feel of the makeup on my face, but I am getting sick and tired of the mess it makes in my bathroom.  Seriously!  There has to be a better way to deal with the loose mineral makeup!!  The thing that fueled my wanting to switch is that last week, in a moment of rushing around the bathroom in the morning, I dropped the container with the foundation in it, and… SPLAT!  POOF!  Clouds of mineral makeup all over the bathroom floor, all over my shoes, all over everything!  UGH!  As if my mornings weren’t hectic enough already.  Couple that with the fact that I feel like the makeup looks a bit too “powdery” on my skin, and I made the decision that as soon as I got paid, I was making a change.

So what did I move to?  FMG raved about how much she loves Stila.  So I went to Sephora last week to check out their products and found some wonderful options for my skin.  Today I ordered:

• Illuminating Powder Foundation I love that this powder is packed and not loose.  Plus, it really does give the lightness that I liked in the Bare Escentuals with none of the mess.  I also really like the brightness that it gives to my face.  They aren’t kidding about the illumination!  It also has an SPF of 12, which doesn’t hurt.  (Now before you jump all over me about how I need more than just a 12 SPF, I know I do.  My moisturizer has an SPF 25, plus my skin is olive and doesn’t burn easily, so I’m covered already.  This will just be a nice little added protection).
• Illuminating Tinted Moisturizer I don’t usually use a tinted moisturizer, but I got this as a sample from Sephora a little while ago, and LOVED it.  It gives your skin a really beautiful, dewy glow, without a heavy feel.  It’s perfect for those weekend days when you aren’t going to be doing more than running errands or walking around the farmers’ market.  Since I’m taking this summer off, I figured this would be a nice item to add to my beauty bag.  It has an SPF of 15, which is a decent amount of coverage for my skin (see above).
• Convertible Color I like the idea of a cream blush, because I think it gives a really lovely, light bit of color to your cheeks.  If done correctly, it can be so much more natural than powder.  I bought it in Peony, because in my “research” on youtube, I think it will be a great color for my skin tone.  I’ve heard nothing but good things about this product, so I’m really looking forward to trying it.

After my online shopping spree, I made a healthy, delicious dinner myself and ended the evening with a nice dose of one of my guilty pleasures, Gossip Girl. 

Today was simple, yet perfect.  Gotta loves days like that.

Read Full Post »

A whole week off!

I have been looking forward to this February break for longer than I can tell you (Ok, probably since we returned from the long weekend of Semester Break in late January). Things have been moving very quickly in my life, and I needed some time to just stop, relax, and get to all of the things that I’ve been putting off.

I want to savor each day of this vacation, and not let it slip by without feeling like I’ve truly enjoyed it. I’m kind of thinking of it as a practice-run for my summer vacation.

I know it’s only February and it seems silly to think about the summer now, but I’m really looking forward to taking the whole summer off.  It’s been years since I did that, and the one summer I did, I had a really short vacation – I finished up at one school in mid June, moved back home (from San Francisco), and started at a new school, which began in early August.  So really, I only had about 1 month off, and I spent a lot of it moving, setting things up, etc.  This summer the plan is to spend the days riding my bike, swimming at the pool at my parents’ townhouse complex, and reading books while lying in the sun.  Oh, and a few movies, I’m sure.  No stress, no pressure, just moving my body, getting healthy, and enjoying life.

But back to this February break.  The weather has been pretty awful – tons of rain (almost 3 inches in 2 days!), gray skies, cold, howling wind – not a lot of motivation to go out and make it a great day, if you know what I mean.  Which is good, because there are a lot of things for me to do in the house that I’ve been meaning to get to but haven’t had the time.

Some of my plans for the week:

• Give the duplex a good, deep cleaning.  It’s been weeks since I’ve mopped the floors and it really shows.  Having a clean and organized apartment really helps me feel organized in my life, so this is a top priority.  In fact, I’m not going to do anything else today until I get this done.
• Take a few long, luxurious baths with the new bath items I got from Hydra a few weeks ago with my sister.  My bathtub is rather shallow, and due to the fact that I’m rather large (ahem!), I don’t always think of taking baths because I can’t sink down and feel completely submerged in the water.  But I’ve decided that I’m not going to let that stop me from enjoying baths right now.  I can still get the aromatherapy benefits, the soft skin feeling, the bubbles.  So what if I’m not completely submerged in the water?  I can still enjoy it.  Plus, there’s nothing better than just letting all the stress go while you soak in a warm tub.
• Get a pedicure. Originally I had planned on taking Neece to InSpa for her birthday gift (about a month late, but we’re busy women), but because the weather is so yucky right now, she said she’d rather wait and go when the weather was more flip-flop friendly.  I also told myself that I wasn’t going to get a pedicure until I hit my 5% with WW, and use it as a reward.  I haven’t gotten a pedicure in months, to safe money, and because it’s winter time, and I haven’t been showing off my toes anyway.  But I have an even coming up on Saturday, and I’m going to be wearing peep toe shoes, so I NEED a pedicure.
• Hit the treadmill to start on my OYO (on your own) trainings for the half marathon.  I’ve been really bad about going on my own to do my practices, but I know that if I’m going to improve my time and my stamina, I have to get these OYO workouts in.  Plus, I haven’t listened to my iPod in a really long time (I’ve been doing a lot of at-home DVD workouts), so I’m going to look at it as a chance to listen to some great music for an hour while I improve my walking.
• File taxes. Ugh.  This one is never a pleasure for me.  I did my taxes last weekend, and while I’m getting a small amount back from the federal government, I owe twice that amount to the state.  Dammit!  I really think that until I own a house (not sure when that will happen, if ever), I’m going to have to resign myself to the fact that I’m going to owe the state money each year.  I think I’m on some sort of hit list with them, ever since I owed taxes from my dot-com stock option days.  On the bright side, I don’t owe that much money, compared to previous years, so I guess that’s a blessing.
• Add some pictures to the many frames I’ve bought. I have three really nice picture frames that I’ve purchased recently that have spaces for multiple pictures that still need to be filled.  I’m not sure what’s taking me so long add the pictures to the frames, but now that I have some time, I’m going to work on them this week.  Two of the frames are really cool shadow box types that have multiple layers; for those I want to use pictures that I took in Italy in 1995.  I have to make a trip to my parents’ attic to get them out, but it will be worth braving a little dust to make these picture frames finally look finished.
• Spend some quality time with family and friends. Yesterday I got to see my sister and my nieces at my parents’ house, which was so fun.  My mom’s birthday is on Wednesday, and we all wanted to get together to give her our gift – tickets to see Wicked in SF and happy hour at a posh bar in the theatre district afterward.  My mom was thrilled with this gift, and I can’t wait.  We’re going to go March 29th.  My sister and I had seen Wicked before when it came to SF before it hit Broadway, and we loved it.  I know that the three of us are going to really have a ball that day.  I also have plans to hang out with a friend from high school whom I haven’t seen in almost 20 years.  We reconnected on Facebook (gotta love that site for those great connections), and have been meaning to get together.  She and her friends go to a local bar for karaoke on Thursday nights, and I keep telling her I’m going to join them.  Since they don’t get there until close to 10pm, I can’t go when it’s a “school night,” but since I have Friday off this week, I can definitely make it this Thursday.
• Enjoy a good book, or two, and maybe a few of the magazines I have backlogged. I’m an avid reader, but I find myself in the familiar situation of having lots of magazines on the rack that haven’t been read.  I also have a few library books that are about to be overdue that I want to finish before I return.  I want to carve out a few hours (maybe later today or tomorrow), to sit and enjoy some quiet reading time.  I’ll make sure to update my GoodReads page so you can keep up, if you’re interested.
• A bit of school work. A week before the break, I gave an assignment to my at-level juniors to write a “tall tale” in the vein of Mark Twain.  I asked them to use several comic devices in their writing.  They had a really fun time coming up with outlandish scenarios, so I’m looking forward to reading these.  The smart thing I did was make it a group assignment, so rather than having 35 stories to read, I only have about 15 or so.  I also have to write a syllubus for a “summer school after school” class I’m going to be teaching when school resumes.  It’s actually really cool curriculum that I’ve used with my juniors, so it should be an easy class to teach.  I decided to take on this extra assignment because I’m adamant about not working this summer (see above), but I want to make sure I have some extra money for a down payment on a new (to me) car.  My lease is up in August, so I’ll be car shopping.  I’m getting $2900 (before taxes) for 60 hours of work, which is a little over $48/hour – not too shabby.  Plus, because this class is geared towards seniors who have failed the first semester of English but need it to graduate, the kids should be very motivated to pass.  All in all, not much work to do, which is so different than February breaks in the past.
• Attend an old-school Italian Dinner Dance. This one should be a blast.  My mom’s aunt & uncle belong to several Italian associations in San Francisco, and often buy whole tables for different fundraising events.  This Saturday one of their organizations is throwing a dinner/dance and we’ve all been invited.  I bought a really pretty party dress (I’ll post pictures later) and can’t wait to get all dolled up for the event.  I have a feeling there won’t be too many people my age at this party, but I don’t mind filling my dance card with dances with my dad, great uncle, and cousin (among the other gentlemen who might be there).  It should be a lot of fun, and it’s something I haven’t done before, so I’m looking forward to it.
• Watch the Oscars! I love the Oscars – the gowns, the accolades for fine film making, the gossip – it’s always a fun event.  Once when I was living in SF, one of my friends threw a fabulous Oscar Party and it was so much fun.  In recent years, I’ve watched the Oscars at home by myself, which is also fine by me.  This year, I’m going to my parents’ house to watch it with them.  I’m hoping that maybe next year I’ll be able to have a little Oscar party at my house – I love getting together with friends, good food,  and strong drinks while dishing about the show.  Sounds like a plan in the making, right?

So there you have it, lots of plans for a great week off.  I’d better get started if I’m going to get it all done!!

Read Full Post »

Gradingpalooza currently in progress

I have tons of grading to get through this weekend, so I won’t be writing until Monday  at the earliest.  Do you have any idea how difficult it is to grade when the weather outside is in the 70s?  HARD!!  Between wanting to do just about anything but grade and all of the procrastination possibilities online and around my house, I’m going to need to work hard to keep focused on the task at hand, let me tell you!

Please send me good grading vibes this weekend.  I’m definitely going to need it.

In the mean time, check some of the fantastic bloggers in my blogroll.

Read Full Post »

Ahhhh…a 4-day weekend

One of the perks of being a teacher is having long weekends and other vacations from time to time.  This weekend was one of those times.  Unlike so many of my friends and family who won’t be getting even 1  day off for Veteran’s Day, I got 2.

So what have I done with my glorious 4-day weekend so far, you ask?  Not a whole lot of anything.  Which is exactly what I needed.

It seems that for the past month, every day of every weekend has been jam-packed with parties, dinners, events, etc.  Which is all fun and great and everything, but once in a while it’s nice to just be at home doing NOTHING.

Well, not nothing, exactly.  So far this weekend I’ve:

• Completely reorganized my closet to move out my warm weather clothes and replace them with cool weather ones.  The problem with this is that I don’t have a whole heck of a lot of clothes that fit me anymore.  But this is a good thing!  It means I’m quite a bit smaller than I was last year at this time, which is exciting.  I have quite a bit of clothes that I’m thinking of swapping/giving to someone.
• Done a ton of laundry.  I had so much to do that the washer and dryer have been on for the past two days, practically without end.
• Finally finished reading American Wife by Curtis Sittenfeld.  It was supposed to be my book club book that we were going to meet and talk about last Sunday, but since no one had finished it yet, we put off the meeting until this Wednesday.  The only probably is that now AM and I are the only ones who can meet. If you’re looking for a good, long book you can sink your teeth into, this is the one.  I absolutely loved it.
• Spent too much time and too much money on QVC.  I really don’t order things from QVC ever, but somehow I got on some list that sends me emails about when Bare Escentuals or Philosophy is going to be featured on air.  Saturday night happened to be when Bare Escentuals was on, and being such an admirer of their cosmetics, I had to tune in.  I ended up buying a great holiday collection of colors for a really good price.  And I ended up getting some Amazing Grace items as well.  (These weren’t featured, but I started clicking on QVC.com and, well, $70 later….).  I have to say, it’s DANGEROUS!  They make everything sound so good that you’re tempted to buy way more than you should.  Thank goodness for “easy pay” and for the fact that I’m smart enough to only buy products that I know I love.  Otherwise I could’ve gotten into even more trouble.
• Begun grading some essays.  Yes, I know, I said that with my new plan, I wouldn’t need to bring any work home.  Well, the plan has been working really well, but I have gotten a bit backed up with essays because I have an essay on The Crucible and then we also had a district-wide writing assessment in the same week, so I’ve had 6 sets of essays to grade.  I figure taking one day of this 4 day weekend to grade isn’t so bad.  Plus, it helps so that next weekend (the weekend before grades are due) I’m not so stressed.
• Almost finished Thin is the New Happy by Valerie Frankel.  I have mixed reviews so far for this book.  There are parts I love and can totally relate to, and then there are parts where I feel she has completely overshared.  And that’s saying something, coming from me.  I’ve been accused of “oversharing” myself.  Overall, though, I’m glad I’ve been reading it, and I’m equally as glad that I got it from the library rather than paying for it.
• Caught up on all my t.v. shows.  Last week was such a crazy week that I hadn’t really watched any of my normal shows.  I had episodes of Desparate Housewives, Gossip Girl, Grey’s Anatomy, Ugly Betty, and Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style to watch.  Now, many of you may be saying, “you watch too many shows,” and you’re completely right.  But that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop.  🙂

The plan for the rest of today is to finish grading, finish the laundry, go to the grocery store, and get in a workout.  Tomorrow I’m meeting my sister to go shopping and have lunch, since she has tomorrow off.

It’s been so nice to feel like I’ve had enough time to get everything done.  October was such a long, busy month that it’s nice to be in November, when we get two longer breaks.  Finally a bit of breathing room.

Read Full Post »

Taking back my life

For years, I’ve spent most of my time focusing on my work life – making sure I was the best at my career, whether it was working in industry (I worked at a famous internet company during the dotcom boom) or teaching. I give everything I have to my job, which leaves little for the rest of my life. When people ask me what I do, I always answer with pride, knowing that I have given everything I can.

The problem is that when the ask me about the rest of my life, there’s not a lot to say. Sure, I have great family and friends, but they always took a back seat to my work. My parents instilled a strong work ethic in both my sister and me, and I think I took that a little too far.

For years now, when school is in session, the rest of my life suffers. So much so that I become unhealthy – not eating well, not exercising, not going out with family and friends. Not living.

Many people think teaching is easy because of the short work day, but what they don’t realize is how much time it takes to grade all of the essays and other work that must be assigned in order for students to get enough practice so that they become better writers, analyzers, and critical thinkers. I think English teachers have it worse, because of the amount of writing involved in the day to day assignments (but I may be biased). I love teaching and interacting with students, but as I’ve written so many times in the past, the part of my job that I hate is the constant paperwork and grading that I have hanging over my head. Sometimes it gets so overwhelming that I can’t seem to look past it. So I avoid it, but I don’t do other things either. I’m stuck in a sort of limbo mode where nothing productive gets accomplished. I back myself into a corner where the only way I can finish all that I have to do is to stay up all night grading. It’s happened so many times in the past, and it leads me to living in a manner that I hate.

As this school year approaches on Monday, I am fiercely determined not to lose my life as I have in the past. Now that I’m finished with graduate school and all of the requirements I faced for the last two years, I’m really ready to start enjoying my life, even when school is in session. The plan for this year is to stay after school for two hours every day and grade as much as possible in that time period. Whatever doesn’t get done is going to be left for the next day. I am promising myself that I won’t take anything home with me. Not in the evenings after school and not on the weekends. (Unless I need to finish a few things during a grading period, but if I stay on top of the assignments, I shouldn’t have to do much of this).

I’ve made this plan several times in the past, but I’ve never executed it. I get so tired at the end of a school day that the last thing I want to do is grade papers. I take them home with me, but avoid doing them, and the piles just get bigger and bigger. And it leads to more frustration.

So I am telling myself that even though this plan hasn’t worked in the past, it will work this time. It has to. I cannot keep living my life only working. Because even though I may not have been grading, it was always in the back of my mind, and I could never truly enjoy my time away from school.

I want to be able to leave work at work, and live a full life. I want to keep up with the healthy habits I’ve put forth in my life, and I want to take those even further. I want to continue to enjoy my time with family and friends. And I even want to spend some time pursuing hobbies like writing, maybe through a non-fiction writing class.

It’s time for me to work to live and stop living to work. I know it’s easier said than done because I am a workaholic, but if I don’t change this pattern now, I know I won’t have the life I truly want to live.

I’m actually really excited by this new challenge I’m putting forth for myself. Because I have been unsuccessful at balancing my life in the past, I am that much more energized to do it right this time. I have a different mindset now. I know that my life is about a lot more than my job, no matter how noble my chosen profession might be. It’s ok for me to want to have a life outside of teaching, and it doesn’t make me a bad teacher, or a selfish person to want more out of life than a red pen and a stack of essays.

I’ll continue to check in on this blog with my progress, but I am hoping to have positive results to share. I’d like to ask any and all of you to keep my honest with this plan, and if you start to see me slipping back into old habits, that you’ll call me on it.

This is my chance to put me first, and I can’t wait to do it.

Read Full Post »