Usually I spend the 4th with friends and/or family at BBQs and beach parties. There was the one year that Neece got married on the 4th of July, and I was in her bridal party. There was another year that I went out on a first date with a guy I met online on the 4th. And then there’s this year.
This year I am spending the 4th of July by myself. And I don’t like it.
I don’t mean to sound full of self-pity at all. My life is amazing and filled with wonderful people who show me how much I mean to them in thousands of ways throughout the year. It just so happened that today all of those people have other plans. My parents are going wine tasting with friends so we’ve delayed our usual BBQ until tomorrow. LC is going to spend the day alone with her family. Ish is off with her hubby for their annual 4th of July Reno trip. Not sure what Neece is doing, but since it’s her anniversary, I’m sure it involves couple-time with her husband. The rest of my friends all have boyfriends or husbands or families.
Spending the 4th of July alone really highlights for me that I am sick of being single. If I were dating someone, he and I would be spending the 4th of July together, and no matter what we decided to do, even if it was just to stay home and watch movies, we’d be doing it together.
The question that’s come up a lot for me lately is how the heck am I going to meet someone? I would never date another teacher at school because if things didn’t work out, it would be so awkward, plus can you imagine the field day the teenage girls would have with gossip like that? I’ve tried the online dating website thing and never really met anyone worth knowing. I’m fairly social, but it’s rare that anyone would come up to me in a bar or restaurant. And I’m not really a member of any sort of social club or organization where I’d meet someone. I guess my best bet is somehow being introduced to someone through a friend?
Yesterday I was thinking a lot about being 38. About how it’s so close to 40, and am I really going to get married someday, or is that just a pipe dream? Again, I’m not trying to sound down on myself or self-pitying, but it does weigh heavily on my mind sometimes. Luckily, my family never puts any pressure on me to get married. They know that I wish I were dating someone great. They also know that I think my weight affects my ability to meet men. Which I believe it does. Whether or not it should, if I believe it does, than it must. It’s like a self-fufilling prophecy of sorts.
I think I’ve come to the point in my life where I am really open to meeting a nice guy. I’m not going to put a ton of effort into meeting someone, because they say that you find love when you’re least expecting it. So, I’m saying I’m open to the possibility of meeting someone great. I’m putting it out there in the universe. And that’s all I’m going to do.
I’m going to keep living my life like I have been. Enjoying time spent with friends and family. Keeping active and losing weight. Relishing who I am and what I’ve accomplished. And if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen.
And now I’m going for a walk to get outside of the house (and out of my own head) to enjoy the music on my iPod and the sights, sounds, and sun around my neighborhood.
Today is my 38th birthday, and I guess it’s time for a bit of reflection. 38 is definitely in the “late thirties” category, yet I don’t feel that old at all. I feel as though I’m in my late twenties, maybe. I guess that’s because I don’t have a husband, children, or a mortgage, and all of those other things that go with being a responsible adult.
Being young-at-heart runs in my family. My dad just turned 69 and he doesn’t look it or act it at all. He’s still so full of life and vigor, and it’s wonderful to see him enjoying his retirement. (Although he retired 3 years ago, he still substitute teaches because he says the kids keep him young). My mom is the same way – she’s 62 years old and you would seriously never know it. She has a really energetic personally that keeps all of us on our toes, and I love it!
This birthday marks 20 years since I graduated from high school. The summer of 1989 was one of the best ever because it was the one between high school and college. The summer on the cusp of growing up. The summer when there were absolutely no responsibilities. This summer feels very much the same way to me. It’s the first summer in years that I haven’t worked, and I’m absolutely enjoying every minute of it – even the quieter ones.
So, what’s on tap for today?
Well, I started the day with my WW meeting. The news was good, and the meeting really helped me get on the right track for this week.
After the meeting I got the car washed – I love the feeling of a spotless car.
Then I came home and did the Wii Fit. I don’t know what it was, but I broke all sorts of records today. Maybe there were being nice because it was my birthday? Or maybe I’m just advancing!
I’m planning on spending an hour or so today just reading. I’ve been really lax about reading this summer (too active, I guess), and it is going to be nice to just sit with a good book. I’m reading Very Valentine by Adriana Trigiani. Love her writing and I’m sure this won’t disappoint.
Later this afternoon, my mom and I are going shopping! She said that the gifts that I mentioned to her (she still likes us to give her birthday wish lists) were ones that she needed me to be there to pick out. I’ve asked for some silver hoop earrings, a new coffeemaker, and a few other items.
After the shopping, my mom is making me a birthday dinner – pasta with pesto, barbecued Italian sausage, and a salad.
A birthday spent with family – shopping and eating well – how much better can it get?!
Now to explain the title. I know all of you can add, but to me, turning 38 is really a wake-up call to me to get back on track with my life list (aka Bucket List, only these are things I want to do by the time I’m 40). So, I have two years to complete the following:
Things to do before I turn 40:
1. Lose 100 lbs. Working on it, but the progress is slow. I’m vowing to do this, though. It’s the most important thing on this list.
2. After weight loss, go on a shopping spree at Anthropologie and Ann Taylor Loft, knowing the clothes will look great!
3. Sky dive.
4. Own a convertible. I should complete this one in August, when I buy the new VW Beetle convertible!
5. Find balance in my life. (I’m so bad with the work/personal life balance). As I wrote earlier this week, I’ve got a great handle on this one.
6. Make spirituality a part of my everyday life.
7. Try yoga. I have not only tried it, but I discovered I LOVE Bikram yoga. I haven’t been in a while, though, so I’m going to go this month.
8. Start meditating. I tried it a couple of times, but couldn’t seem to quiet my mind long enough. It might be worth another shot.
9. Get a Brazilian bikini wax.
10. Go to the beach in a bathing suit and feel proud of how I look.
11. Go to NYC.
12. Go to Boston/Connecticut CTLB’s wedding in August ‘08.I’m hoping to go back next summer to see CTLB’s new house.
13. Run a 5K. (Maybe even a 10K). I’ve walked two 5Ks, and have another one coming up July 19th. Not sure if running one will be realistic.
14. Meet “The One” aka “Mr. Right” and be engaged, or close to it.
15. Own a home (condo/townhouse), even if I’m still single.
16. Go on an exotic vacation to Bali or Morocco.
17. Learn to speak Italian.
18. Get some of my writing published.
19. Use my masters in educational leadership, either in school administration at my school or on the district level working with the new teacher program.
20. Adopt a dog.
So, you can see that I still have several of the items to work on. Some of them are a bit unrealistic, but that doesn’t mean I can’t try. You never know what you can do until you attempt it, right?
38 is definitely going to be a great year, I can just feel it. There is no doubt that I will feel better than I ever have with my increase in activity, focus weight loss, and quitting smoking (July 15th). There are so many things I want to accomplish, but like you know by now, I’m a girl who loves a goal, and I can’t wait to take some of these on!
Yesterday I paid the last payment on the CRV I am leasing. The lease matures on August 25th, so I’ll be looking for a new car beginning Aug. 1st.
I can’t tell you how excited I am! I really want a new car because I’m just so bored with this one. I am not one who keeps cars very long; in the past 21 years I’ve been driving I’ve had over 12 cars. Some for a really short period of time, and none longer than 4 years. I just get too bored of the current model and crave something new. That’s why leasing was always so attractive to me.
The last 4 cars I’ve owned have all been Hondas – one Accord, two civics, and now the CRV. Hondas are great, reliable cars that hold their resale value and don’t use too much gas. Even the CRV, which is an SUV-crossover (mini SUV) isn’t a gas guzzler, which was nice when the gas prices soared to over $4/gallon last summer.
The thing is, while I like Hondas, the car I’ve wanted forever is a convertible VW Beetle. I just love the way those cars look, and I think they totally suit my personality. I like to think of myself as fun, quirky, and full of life, and I think that car represents all of those things.
So, I’ll be looking at local VW dealerships to find the convertible Beetle of my dreams. This time I’m going to make a commitment and buy the car, rather than lease, because I figured if I’ve wanted the car as long as I have, I’m going to want to keep it. Plus, I would really love to get the car repainted some funky color like hot pink/magenta or a vibrant turquoise – a car that fun shouldn’t be in a boring color.
For now, I’m just happy to have made my last payment on the CRV and can’t wait to start shopping for the Beetle!!
Ever since I started my weight loss blog, I’ve been writing much less frequently on this one. Because weight loss is my main focus (almost like a part-time job), it makes sense that I have more to write about that topic than any other. Still, sometimes I feel badly that this blog, the one I started blogging with, gets pushed back to second-class citizen status.
One thing that seems appropriate to write about here is how I’ve been doing on my quest to “get a life.” Last August, I wrote a post where I vowed to take back my life and stop living to work instead of just working to live.
I’m happy to report that I am now a reformed workaholic.
It wasn’t easy. At first I felt like I was really sloughing off on my duties at work. “I really should go to the play this weekend.” “The students would really like it if I went to that football/basketball/soccer game,” etc. Instead of feeding into this guilt trip I was laying on myself, I just said no. I took myself off of the numerous committees I had been serving on and kept only those that I felt were the most important.
Did I feel like I was out of the loop? Yes. Did I crave being “in the know” the way I was when I served on lots of different committees and attended tons of school events? Sure, sometimes. But that feeling of being slightly out of the dialed in group was well worth the time and energy I found now that I wasn’t spending so much time and effort at work.
It was a strange year for me because CTLB, my best friend at school and one of my best friends in life, left. I felt a lot lonlier than I had in the past 4 years, when were were “joined at the hip.” But before you start feeling too sorry for me, I do have an amazing group of friends at school, and we all eat lunch together every day, so it’s not like I sit alone in my classroom and grade papers while I eat a stale sandwich. (That would never, ever be me, by the way). We also had a new principal this year, and that made for a lot of changes. Good changes, but still, there were a lot of things going on this year that left me feeling out of sorts a lot of time time.
But my life outside of the work day was fantastic! I found that I had tons of free time, and I used it to try new activities, reach out to old friends and make some new ones, spend lots more time with my family, and just enjoy myself by doing whatever I wanted to do – riding my bike, reading a great (or trashy) book, watching movies, cooking, etc.
It seemed idyllic until the school said they were looking for someone to teach a “summer school after school” class. I saw dollar signs and knew that if I taught the class I would have the money I needed for a down payment on my new car AND I wouldn’t have to work this summer. So, beginning after February break, I gave up 60 hours+ of free time and taught the class. (This may not sound like a lot, but this is on top of teaching 5 other classes. Not to mention grading and prepping for 6 classes). It is something that I’m glad I did (for the money), but will never do again. It’s just not worth giving up that much of my life.
All in all, I loved having my life back. I felt like I was a better teacher because I could look at things from a well rested, happy point of view. I plan on doing more of the same this coming school year. Actually, it should be even better because I’m only teaching one honors class, which will dramatically cut down on my paperload. Can’t wait.
Ok, enough writing, time to get out there and LIVE!
I was shocked yesterday when I got the NY Times news alert on my iPhone that Michael Jackson had died of a cardiac arrest at the age of 50. 50! That’s so young, and he seemed to be healthy, at least physically.
Within the last decade of his life, Michael Jackson became a controversial figure. A joke. A celebrity that was surrounded by scandal. A person who was so twisted, possibly due to his upbringing at the hands of Joe Jackson. I don’t want to talk about that Michael Jackson.
But the Michael Jackson I remember, the Michael Jackson who was The King of Pop, will live on in my heart forever.
Thriller was the first record I ever owned. Yes, it was vinyl. I loved it. I played it over and over again on the turntable in my room. My mom even let my sister and me watch the video on MTV. (We weren’t allowed to watch other videos on MTV because my mom thought they were a bad influence. Little did she know that every time she left the house to go grocery shopping, MTV was the first channel we tuned to).
Michael Jackson as an artist was phenomenal. No one can compare to him. And I’m not talking about his musical abilities, per se, but more about his showmanship. His dancing! His style. His verve. His vision. We wouldn’t have Usher or Justin Timberlake without Michael.
I am so glad to see that MTV is doing a musical tribute to MJ by putting his videos in rotation. Lots of radio stations in my area were playing Michael Jackson songs yesterday, even though their format was more alternative rock.
The man was a legend within the music community, and I’m glad that he’s being honored as such.
The weather was 85 degrees – warm, but not too hot. Earlier in the week the weather was really overcast, cloudy, and sort of cold. Not conducive to feeling like you’re on summer vacation.
I started the morning with a WW meeting. It had been more than a month since I’d gone, and let’s just say the absence showed up on the scale. (To read more about the meeting, check out my weight loss blog).
After WW, I straightened up the house a bit and then went to get the car washed. The poor thing was disgusting, and I hate driving around like that, especially when the weather is nice. I always feel so much better when the car is shiny and clean.
Then I headed to my parents’ house to pick up my dad so he could go with me to the nursery to buy some summer flowers for my house. My dad is an expert gardener and always helps me plant new flowers. I chose some really beautiful flowers that should do very well. My house is shaded by two huge trees, which is nice for keeping the heat at bay, but not so great for choosing blooms – most of the flowers I love need full sun.
Window box - this is the view from my front door. Purple colius, yellow begonias, a spider plant (previously planted) and baby's breath ground cover
Front view of the window box
Close up of the window box flowers
Pots of impatiens for the front stoop
Flower pot and window box
Full front view of my house (on the right)
Once the flowers start to really take and are in full bloom (within a couple of weeks, I think), I’ll make sure to post updated pictures. I love flowers, and I think this is definitely one of the harbingers of summer for me – planting the flowers in the front of the yard. I love going out every other day (or so, depending on the weather) and watering the plants – there’s something very nurturing about it. Just like cooking. It’s part of what makes a house a home.
After the flowers were planted, I made lunch for my dad and then brought him home once we had finished eating. I love spending time with him this way. He’s in his element outside, and he has so much expertise, so it’s really nice to be able to learn a bit from him about one of the things he loves.
When I got home, I decided that I’d take a short bike ride to the library to pick up the books I had requested. Nothing is better than getting that email notification from the library telling you that you’re books are on hold. Love it! I didn’t realize that I had ordered quite so many books, though. I had 9 hardcovers to fit into my bike basket! Luckily it’s big enough, so everything fit – just barely. It was great to bike the 2.6 miles roundtrip because it was just enough of a workout to get my blood pumping and make me feel alive.
Now I’m about to get ready to go out to dinner at Thea, one of my favorite Greek restaurants, with one of my old high school pals. I’m so glad that she and I reconnected a few months ago because I really missed our friendship. The thing is, nothing really happened – we just lost touch after high school as it’s so easy to do. Thankfully, we found each other on Facebook (gotta love social networking sites!) and have gotten together about once a month ever since.
All in all, a wonderful summer day – I hope to have many, many more just like this one.
Notice that I didn’t say I’m going to TRY to quit smoking. Because trying isn’t doing, and this time, I’m doing it. I have set my “quit date” for July 3rd, the day after my birthday. Because who wants to be cranky on her birthday, right?
Not that I’ll be cranky, necessarily, but I do think I’ll have a few moments of “I’ve gotta have a cig right now” somewhere along the line. I’m going to follow some of the great tips and ideas given to me from the Kaiser Smoking Cessation Program that I went to last year when I attempted to quit. That time it didn’t take because I wasn’t ready. I did it because I friend wanted to, and that never works. Just like losing weight, quitting smoking has to be something that YOU decide to do for yourself – it’ll never work until YOU want it to.
And I do want it. As much as I enjoy smoking, I want to quit because:
I hate feeling like a social pariah.
None of my friends or family smokes. Once in a while a couple of friends will have one along with me, but by and large, I’m the only smoker I know.
I hate that “monkey on the back” feeling that I get after I haven’t smoked for 6-7 hours (while I’m at school). It’s like I can no longer concentrate on anything because I need to smoke. I am really looking forward to not feeling like that.
I am getting a new car in August, and I DO NOT want to smoke inside it. It might sound easy to just “not smoke in the car,” but because of my job, smoking in the car is the only chance I get to smoke for most of the day. This is going to be a huge habit to break, probably the hardest. But it will be so worth it not to have ashes everywhere and that pervasive smell of smoke.
Speaking of smell, I can’t wait not to smell like smoke all the time. Because no matter how many perfumes and body sprays I use, I can always smell the smoke on me. And if I can, so can others. Yuck!
So, July 3rd – QUIT DAY.
Until then, I’m trying to shake up the routine and cut back on the cigs I do smoke. I’ve also started taking the Wellbutrin, which is supposed to aid in cutting back. I also have my patches ready to go. I’m hoping that my increased activity this summer will help me take my mind off of smoking.
I know I’ll be posting all about it, so stay tuned.
Lately, I’ve been hearing that question a lot. This is the first summer where I haven’t signed up to work, and I couldn’t be happier. I’m looking forward to actually getting one of the full benefits of teaching – an entire 2-month period of time off.
My mom in particular is worried that I’ll get bored. She knows me too well, because when I get bored, I start to spend money. What better way to ebb boredom than to go shopping, right? Well, not this summer.
This summer I plan to do nothing.
And by “nothing,” I mean that the plan is no plan. Nothing too specific. Mornings spent reading the newspaper while sipping coffee. Walking. Working out. Swimming. Biking. Lots if activity & focus on weight loss. Keeping the house super clean and organized. Feeling like every day is a Saturday, even when it’s Tuesday. Thursday morning WW meetings. Seeing friends. Buying produce and flowers from the farmers market every Friday. Overusing my Netflix queue. Music in the Park. Cooking healthy, delicious meals for myself every day. Laying in the sun reading a captivating book. Shopping, but trying not to spend too much $. Starlight Cinema. Buying a new car in August when my current lease is up. (I’m thinking a VW Beetle convertible would suit me perfectly). A tiny bit if tweaking my current curriculum. And lots and lots of writing on this blog and BellaOnTheBeach.
Summer afternoon, summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language.
I just finished one of the best books I have read in a long time. It’s calledI Loved, I Lost, I Made Spaghetti by Giulia Melucci. I could relate to everything in this book – the bad dates/relationships, the love of cooking, the Italian-American (half Sicilian, mind you) culture – all of it.
The book is a combination smart chick-lit, recipe book. The pairing works fantastically well, as do the menus she provides throughout the book. Anyone who knows an Italian will tell you that one of the ways we show our love is through food. The idea for the book was inspired.
Melucci’s style is a great mix of sarcastic, self-deprecating, and so, so humorous. Her down-to-earth style reminds me a bit of myself. This is the type of book I would have loved to have written.
The recipes in the book sound divine, and I’m definitely going to try many of them out.
I just found out that Giulia Melucci is going to be giving a book signing in SF on July 11th, and I’ve made plans to be there.
Here’s a little bit from the author, just to entice you:
AM sent this to me last week, and I just got a chance to view it today. Overall, I love the message that it promotes. It’s a good reminder that I have so much to be thankful for and I should treat each day as if it were a special occasion (sometimes hard to do).
The video is 3:20, and is worth the time, because it may just give you a little perspective on life that you needed to be reminded of.
I will start this review by saying I’m completely biased, and I love Jen Lancaster. I’ve seen her twice in person at book signings, and I am a huge fan. The most recent book signing I attended was last Wednesday at the Borders at Stonestown Galleria in San Francisco. I came to the signing rockin’ a popped collar on my polo shirt and sporting a side ponytail. The signing was ’80s themed, because the book is a look back an Jen’s life growing up in the ’80s. It was such a treat to hear Jen reading from her book, answering questions from the audience, and then taking the time to sign books and take pictures with everyone. Jen Lancaster is such a class act; she really shows her appreciation of her fans by making herself so available to them at the signings.
This book definitely didn’t disappoint. I could relate to almost all of it (although I was never in a sorority, I did go to an all-girls Catholic school and Mean Girls are Mean Girls, know what I mean?). Lancaster improves her writing with each book, and this one was engaging. I love Lancaster’s wry, witty style and her sarcasm is fantastic. This book was number 8 on the NY Times Bestseller list for a reason, people.
One of my favorite parts of Jen Lancaster’s books is the end, when she starts to reflect on what she’s learned by going through the process she’s described in the 250 pages or so that you’ve just read. I finish each book not wanting it to end, but knowing that I’ve been completely entertained, inspired, and might have learned a thing or two about myself in the process.
Jen Lancaster is my Candace Bushnell (if you’ve read the book, you’ll get the reference).
If you haven’t read the book, I highly recommend you pick up a copy today.
Last night was the first meeting of the reunion planning committee for my 20thhigh school reunion, which is coming up in October. I decided to join the committee because I love organizing events – I swear I was an event planner in a former life. I am going to have some free time this summer, and I thought I’d lend my skills to make sure our reunion is really special. Plus, I haven’t been able to donate money to my Alma mater, so I figured donating time would be the way to go.
To give a bit of background, I went to an all-girls, Catholic high school. Yes, plaid skirt and all. Full of all sorts of privileged girls who would get BMWs on their 16th birthdays. You know the ones. The same “popular girls” who are so insecure about themselves that they have to cut everyone else down just to make themselves feel good. The type that have to judge every action, every moment, just to show their supposed superiority.
While I had a fantastic experience at my high school and had so many wonderful friends, I couldn’t stand these Mean Girls then, even though we got along, on the surface. I had friends from all different groups – the Mods (pre-Goth, all-black-and-crazy-eye-makeup-wearing people who took fashion cues from Robert Smith of The Cure), the geeks, the jocks, the partiers, etc. I can generally get along with all sorts of people. The ones that I have no patience for are the ones who are so petty and so superficial. The ones who fit the stereotypical sorority-girl-on-crack type of personality.
Well last night I was sitting next one such Mean Girl planning the reunion. I don’t remember “Heather” being such a bitchy girl in high school, but she defines the word now. She spent half the meeting talking shit all these different girls, most of whom I could barely remember, let alone have any gossip about. This one is divorced, that one is now a lesbian, this one is now a bitch (I thought this was hilariously ironic, coming from her), that one was….well, you get the idea. I mean, whose life is so shallow that you have time to keep up with all the gossip about girls you haven’t seen in years? Not to mention spreading so many rumors. She even started talking about people whom I know are her “friends.” I was disgusted.
Of course, she pretended to be all sweetness and light with me, but I can only imagine what she’s saying about me behind my back. I’m sure my weight gain will come up in a future gossip session she’ll be having. Not that I care, because while I may have gained a bunch of weight since high school, at least I’m not a Mean Girl. To paraphrase the saying, “I can lose weight, but you’ll always be a bitch.”
I think the part that was the most disheartening to me about the whole evening was that the Alumnae Coordinator was right there with Heather gossiping away. (AC graduated the year after us, so she knows all the girls from our class). Now AC was never in the popular crowd, and I know that back in high school Heather would have never been seen talking to AC, let alone gossiping with her. I think that AC should have have been much more professional than she was, and it definitely put her in a whole new light in my eyes.
Heather is very active at our high school and donates a ton of money, so I don’t think she’s going anywhere anytime soon.
So at this point, you may think I’m crazy for continuing on the committee, and that may be, but I’m sticking on it for a few reasons:
There are tons of girls who will be attending whom I love and can’t wait to see in person again. I want to make sure they have the best reunion possible.
I’m good at this stuff!
I’ll be damned if I want Heather to run the show, because who knows what she’d come up with.
I’m not intimidated by Heather or any other Mean Girls, and I won’t back down.
Someone may just need to bring Heather down a peg or two, and I think I’m just the girl to do it, don’t you?
For now Heather has no clue that I feel this way, because I can play fake as well as the next person. I was very careful not to add to any of the gossip, but I did take it all in. Hopefully Heather will get a life (she is a mother of two, after all), and cool it with all this bullshit. But that might be giving her way too much credit. We’ll see, I suppose.
Thanks for letting me vent – I had to get that off my chest, otherwise I might’ve had to pull a “Veronica.”
(No, this isn’t my try at speaking like Bostonians).
A shot from outside the theatre; I was going for "arty," did I succeed?
On Mother’s Day my sister and I took my mom to see Wicked at the Orpheum Theatre in San Francisco. LC and I had seen the musical a few years ago, before it hit Broadway. We loved it then, and knew that if it ever came back to SF, we were going to take my mom.
We originally wanted to buy the tickets to the show for my mom’s birthday, in February, but the first decent seats that were available just so happened to be on Mother’s Day. We asked my mom if it was alright with her for us to go, and she said, “Absolutely!”
After a nightmarish drive across the Bay Bridge (which was actually nothing more than normal weekend bottleneck, bumper-to-bumper traffic), we got to the theatre with no problem. I drove around once looking for parking, and then happened upon the most rockstar space almost by accident. It was literally only a block from the theatre.
The Orpheum Theatre is a true beauty. It harkens back to the 1920s, and I can imagine the wild and wonderful shows that were put on during the time of the Lost Generation. The theatre is so striking that it almost becomes its own character within any production.
For those of you who haven’t seen Wicked, what are you waiting for? It is truly one of the best shows I have ever seen. It’s definitely my favorite. Not only is it witty, it’s dramatic, and a sharp social commentary that can be applied to so many modern-day situations. You leave the show wishing that you had the chance to be friends with Elphaba (or, at least I did).
It was a day that I will remember for years to come. Because we got to see wonderful production, but also because it was spent with the two women I love most in this world – my mom and my sister. Both of them help me become the person I hope to be.
It’s been so long since I’ve bought new clothes, mostly because I wanted to wait until I had some extra money to spend and was hoping I’d be down another size. Unfortunately, the latter hasn’t happened yet, and my wardrobe was in desperate need of a fashion infusion.
Plus, it’s been a hard few weeks – I’ve had a terrible cold that won’t seem to go away, we’ve been dealing with the aftermath of my grandmother’s death (nothing too serious, just a lot of paperwork and “affairs to get in order”). Yesterday was a minimum day at school for me (we have these every 6 weeks, whenever grades are due), and I decided it was high time to go shopping for some new things for myself.
Armed with a “spend $125, save $50” coupon from Lane Bryant, I hit the mall ready to buy some new outfits. I was shocked at how sparsely LB was stocked. The store looked like they had just had some sort of major sale and hadn’t been able to replace the inventory yet. Not that it was messy or disorganized, just a huge lack of many different clothes. Very disappointing. Plus, so many of their tops now have that band around the bottom. I realize that for people with a few rolls too many in their middle, this style might be flattering, but for those of us who are shaped with a more hourglass figure, those bands do nothing to accentuate our waist, and are usually too small for our ample hips. Ugh.
I did find a few things that I liked: (for some reason the LB site isn’t letting me save the larger images of the clothes, so these thumbnails will have to do)
I love this skirt because of it’s A-lined shape. Plus, it will go with quite a few tops I already own. It hangs a farther below the knees on me, because I’ve got short legs.
This is one wild top, but I really liked it. In person the color is less orange and more reddish/fushia. I’m planning on wearing it when LC, my mom, and I go to see Wicked next Sunday for Mother’s Day. I think it will look great paired with my cropped black pants. It’s fun and bold.
Sleepwear is something that I usually don’t like to spend too much money on, but the cute Nick & Nora pjs I bought last spring still don’t fit (yet!), and I needed something new. This top has a built-in shelf bra and the matching shorts are cute. I am a very warm sleeper, so the less clothes on the better. I will probably never leave the house (even to go outside for the paper) in these shorts because my thighs aren’t fit for public viewing, but they will be comfy for sleeping in. Plus, it gives me even more encouragement to get into those adorable Nick & Nora pjs.
I bought this top to go with the skirt below, but since they didn’t have the skirt in my size (they only had ones that were too big or too small!), I’m going to pair it with black pants for now.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE this graphic skirt, but as I said, they didn’t have it in my size. It’s ok, though, because I got a bunch of Real Woman Dollars to use beginning June 1. With any luck, this skirt will be on sale by then and I can buy it then. If not, it just wasn’t meant to be, I guess.
I also bought a black cami, a red short-sleeved cardigan, and I big, bold black necklace. I’m actually not sure about the necklace because it is so bold, but I’ve been seeing really bold jewelry lately. I may return it, though, and look for something else.
All of these new pieces will really add some zip to my wardrobe, and the shopping made me feel good – that’s what retail therapy is all about, right?
Today around 3:30pm, my maternal grandmother passed away.
I am sad, in a way, yes, but I am also relieved that she is free of the pain that she had been feeling. My grandmother had been having heart problems (erratic heartbeat and other heart-related issues) for the last 10 years, and for the last 2 years, her quality of life was diminished. She closed herself off from most of the people whom she loved, and led a life that was very lonely.
I know I should be sadder that my grandmother is gone, but I’m not. It’s complicated. My grandmother was a bitter woman who had a very difficult life, but who also had a very difficult time showing love to anyone. She was abusive (both physically and verbally) to my mother, and for that, I had very little respect for her. I love her out of a sense of duty, but I’m so conflicted. In many ways, and for many reasons, her death is a blessing.
I can only recall my grandmother telling me she loved me one time, when I was going through one of the darkest periods of my life. I know she loved me, and in many ways she favored me over my sister and her other grandchildren, but it was very difficult for her to tell anyone how she felt.
I can say that my grandmother was a physically beautiful woman who took time to make sure she always looked her best. She worked for over 35 years at the cosmetics counters at The Emporium. She loved using the products and made sure that we never bought “the drug store stuff.” Grandma cared about her appearance, a trait that was passed down to my mom, and to me. Some might call it vanity, but I like to think of it as taking care of ourselves.
My final memory of my grandmother is from this Sunday, Easter Sunday. After having brunch with the family, my parents and I went to visit Grandma at the hospital. I was shocked by her appearance – she was so thin, so frail, so weak. She didn’t have her false teeth in, and she looked so ill. But she was having a good day, and she continued to compliment us on how we looked. She told each of us that we looked so wonderful, and she even told my father that she loved the scent of his aftershave. That memory of her complimenting us on our appearance is a happy one for me.
I am so thankful that I went to see Grandma on Sunday, and that she knew I was thinking about her. I am glad she was able to recognize me and my parents, and that we were able to say goodbye to her. The next day, Grandma had a stroke, and on Tuesday, she slipped into a coma.
I can’t imagine what my mom is going through right now. Her entire life was spent seeking my grandmother’s love and approval, and she never really got it. They went for huge periods of time not speaking, but in the end, they were able get past all of the hurt and bad feelings and say goodbye. I am so grateful for that.
So, Grandma, where ever you are now, I hope that you are at peace in a way that you were never able to be in life.
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Happy 4th of July, everyone!
Thriller was the first record I ever owned. Yes, it was vinyl. I loved it. I played it over and over again on the turntable in my room. My mom even let my sister and me watch the video on MTV. (We weren’t allowed to watch other videos on MTV because my mom thought they were a bad influence. Little did she know that every time she left the house to go grocery shopping, MTV was the first channel we tuned to).
So, July 3rd – QUIT DAY.
I just finished one of the best books I have read in a long time. It’s called 
I love this skirt because of it’s A-lined shape. Plus, it will go with quite a few tops I already own. It hangs a farther below the knees on me, because I’ve got short legs.
This is one wild top, but I really liked it. In person the color is less orange and more reddish/fushia. I’m planning on wearing it when LC, my mom, and I go to see Wicked next Sunday for Mother’s Day. I think it will look great paired with my cropped black pants. It’s fun and bold.
Sleepwear is something that I usually don’t like to spend too much money on, but the cute Nick & Nora pjs I bought last spring still don’t fit (yet!), and I needed something new. This top has a built-in shelf bra and the matching shorts are cute. I am a very warm sleeper, so the less clothes on the better. I will probably never leave the house (even to go outside for the paper) in these shorts because my thighs aren’t fit for public viewing, but they will be comfy for sleeping in. Plus, it gives me even more encouragement to get into those adorable Nick & Nora pjs.
I bought this top to go with the skirt below, but since they didn’t have the skirt in my size (they only had ones that were too big or too small!), I’m going to pair it with black pants for now.
I LOVE LOVE LOVE this graphic skirt, but as I said, they didn’t have it in my size. It’s ok, though, because I got a bunch of Real Woman Dollars to use beginning June 1. With any luck, this skirt will be on sale by then and I can buy it then. If not, it just wasn’t meant to be, I guess.
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